When there is a rough-edged grumpy elder who is mean to you, I think it's easier to deal with..
Had one in my old hall. Had been in the army and was a total, utter bully.
Offered to fight me away from the others when we were working on a quickbuild and I had in some way annoyed him.
I readily accepted as I could not take any more of him - he then amazingly climbed down and apologised and we had an uneasy sort of truce between each other after that..