by shamus 49 Replies latest jw friends
Mystery,
You will never know what to do. Please believe me when I say that. Your teenager may be your flesh and blood but you do not know. It sounds like he is not depressed, though, he is just in "a depression", LOL! I'm not laughing at you, I'm just laughing at the lack of understanding here.
Lots of people go through depressions. Most teenagers do. I would say that your teenager is just about 100 percent normal. I'm probably talking about something very different here. Clinical Depression.
What helps me, is to know that I am not the only one that feels like you do. The words you use to describe yourself is exactly how I feel. People always comment how witty I am. But inside I am a mess. That's one reason I hang out here. It's the only place I know of where I know people can relate to what I am going through. How long this depression of mine will last, I don't know. But I have been at it for two or more years and it's not getting better. I think it's just part of my life now, and I am learning to accept it. I don't know how to feel 'normal' anymore. I don't know if I suffer from it, or if this is just how you are supposed to feel. For me it's become a way of life and there are days that I don't see any reason to go on with life itself. And yet I am still here typing these words. Who the hell knows why. Maybe there's something inside of me, telling me I am someone special with a purpose. What that purpose is................remains to be seen
I don't have anything to add except to offer some hugs to people who suffer from depression.
You're right about one thing about cancer: it's bad when you have it--but if it doesn't kill you, it goes away.
Warmly,
Pat
I totally know how you feel. I was diagnosed 6 years ago, and for the longest time I just kept blaming myself for not being "normal". I've tried to get off of my meds several times, but after my last episode my husband was practically begging me to take them again. At first he didn't really understand that it is an illness, and he didn't like me being on meds for it. After dealing with my moody ass for 5 years, he knows that I function much better with them. It is hard for people who have never been through it, or have never lived with someone who is depressed, to understand.
I have a love-hate relationship with my meds. I hate that I have to take them, but on the other hand, I'm glad that they are available. 30 or 40 years ago, they would have just thrown your ass in the loony bin and been done with you.
It just sucks that things that normal people do easily are a major struggle for me. Sometimes I just can't get motivated. I lose my temper with my son too easily. I'd really like to have another kid, but then I worry that I'm already shortchanging my husband and my son enough as it is without bringing in another innocent bystander.
You find out who your real friends are, though. I'm very blessed to have a lot of great people who put up with me.
kj
I would have to say, Puternut, call your doctor the second you read this message and get an appointment. If you are already under a doctors care, then there's nothing you can do, except try meds that will either free you or just make things bearable. Usually they free you. For me they just make things bearable. Barley.
I sincerely hope that you are under a doctors care, Puternut. If you are not, you need to call a doctor now. PM me if you need help about what to say, what to do, etc. to your doctor. The sooner you get in there, the better. You're dragging your body over carpet tacks right now. You need to stop it!
kj,
I feel the same way about my meds. I hate having to buy something to make my life bearable. I would rather have diabetes than this.
Shamus, have you been on a lot of different meds? Sometimes it's just a matter of finding the right one. My Dad took meds for several years just to make life "bearable". I finally told him he needed a new doctor because this doctor just didn't seem interested in making him feel any better than bearable. So he did, and he got on some different meds and he is a new man. Seriously, I've never seen him enjoy life as much as he does now. It's just sad that it took him 62 years to get there.
kj
If you are already under a doctors care, then there's nothing you can do ...
I strongly disagree! If I had kept relying solely on my doctor to help me and had not taking action to help myself, I would still be sitting in three day old pj's watching tv at 3am whilst planning the perfect painless suicide and making lists of all the people in the world I hate starting with my 6th grade teacher!
I'm not completely against doctors but this is one illness that takes time, patience and research to overcome. Dr's rarely take more than a few minutes with you, have no patience for you when you are trying your best to communicate your symptoms, and their idea of research seems to be reading the free pamphlet that is dropped off by the latest pharmaceutical company that came by the office to hock the latest 'it' drug.
It's YOUR body, YOUR mind, YOUR happiness and YOUR future. YOU are the only one who can overcome depression. This is my opinion based on many years of experience and research. The best of meds isnt ever going to cure your depression. It may lift you out of that dark pit but if you want to stay out and to actually LIVE while you are out then YOU have got to do much more than just sit there thinking 'this is the best i can be'.
If you havent done so already, research the disorder, research the treatments, and accept the possibility that you can one day feel like all those people you envy!
flower
(stepping down off the podium now )
Shamus, what's the point in seeing a doctor? I'll get medications that will affect me aversely. Besides I simply don't have the funds to see one. My ex-wife has stuck me with 51,000 in credit card debts. I am still paying my divorce lawyer. I am df'd, I lost ALL my friends and family, who are all JW's. I cannot see my kids, because they are baptized and won't talk to a df'd daddy anymore. My business is in jeapordy, I lost my home, due to my wife, I have lost 35 lbs since last May. I have turned to drugs, tabacco, alcohol and lived with two stippers out of shear despration. Plus I came out of a congregation where these kind of things happened http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/64547/995536/post.ashx#995536 Yes I am in depression, but I am still kicking. I am a survivor and will make it somehow. Life goes on.........
