My Husband Just Thinks I am Being Vindictive

by Mystery 27 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Patio and Unbeliever pretty much hit the nail on the head where my thoughts are, Mystery. You might consider using the knowledge of her past indiscretion as a means of comparing the status of each one of you in God's and the congregation's eyes....sometime in the future....when the time is right. It may be just the "leverage" you need to get a "hearing ear" from your sis re: your fam's treatment of you.

    Frannie B

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    I personally have no tolorance for a person like what your sister sounds like, where she won't talk to you because you are not an active witness, and yet she will cheat on her husband.

    I would confront her on a one on one situation, and point out what I knew about the affair. How dare she judge you when she is far from perfect.

  • mustang
    mustang

    "I'd at least let her husband know. Give her the opportunity to confess to him and/or the elders. I'd hold them to the same religious standards that they hold you too, even though you have obviously chosen to not take that path. I'd do it, but then again, I am a vindictive sonofabitch!"

    Been there, done that!!! I held my brother-in-law to HIS standards. I think that he was an MS at the time, and he certainly was an "eLDER wanna-be".

    In a business transaction, he pulled a stunt that was definitely a felony. He sold something that didn’t belong to him. The transaction was aborted when the owner walked in on the transfer of the property. It was smoothed over and seemed that it would remain a "family matter" or "family secret". The two offended parties were content to not press the matter further. But I told him he was obligated to carry the matter to the eLDERS. He did so, grudgingly. They advised him to make a further adjustment in the business relationship, which he did.

    I was surprised when I heard about that adjustment. I was certain that I had caused exposed him to some considerable grief.

    So, I passed a message on through another intermediate family member to talk with him. Nothing happened. After about 5 times of not receiving a response, the intermediate family member told me that they weren’t talking to me.

    They didn’t even do the Christian duty of taking your fault to your brother first. That is, the old Matthew chapter whatever thing, you know.

    It seems that I had let slip a curse word, once. Well, I suppose a poor excuse is better than none.

    OK, so I got burned on that one. NOTWITHSTANDING, I WOULD DO IT AGAIN.

    Frankly, with such hypocrites, they would have gotten around to shunning me eventually on that or some other pretext.

    "But two wrongs don't make a right;"

    I’m not sure that exposing a wrongdoing is a wrong; and some will hold that keeping it hidden is a wrong. (Actually, I believe that there are SCRIPTURES for doing it both ways!!! I recall some Proverb that says "smoothing over a misstep is good"; I’m fairly certain the Mosaic law says something about hiding a transgression :) )

    "and I realized that by doing that, I would just be perpetuating the Watchtower's power over her."

    It’s her choosing to live under those conditions and the regime of Brooklyn. I think that those who so choose should have the opportunity to "reap what they sow".

    "I don't think there'd be anything wrong, however, with appealing to your sister, and pointing out her logical inconsistency."

    Bingo!!! And being the "spade-calling" whistleblower that I am, I would say:

    "Sis, you self-righteous, pious hypocrite , who looks down your nose at me, YOU CONFESS TO YOUR HUSBAND or I tell him myself. And if you don’t do it right away, I will call the eLDERS myself."

    Heck, after thinking twice about it, I would probably tell him anyway. She should have to deal with the fact that her dirty laundry can go public.

    And as Tatiana said, (and I did) use their own rules on them!!!

    Mustang

  • kgfreeperson
    kgfreeperson

    This sounds so painful. I'm hoping you'll find a way to let go of them all. I can't imagine how any good will come from engaging at all at this point. It would be good if you could somehow let your nephew know you're pulling for him, but you may have to wait until his mail and phone calls aren't being censored. Maybe keep a journal for him? I'm sending peaceful thoughts.

  • Faraon
    Faraon

    Matthew 7:12
    So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

    This is one of the good pieces of the babble. It is a double sword.

    By her actions towards you, and calling herself Christian, you can claim that since she has shunned you and not supported you, she is indicating how she would like to be treated. Treat her the same way she has treated you.

    On the other hand, would you like to be treated like that?

    She may be your sister, but this is only because you have shared genes. There are no emotional ties. She chose to dettach from you.

    The way I see it. It's your call. Just make sure that you'll win. Choose your battles and prepare for them with as much information as possible before you take action. Let your mind, not your heart, make the final decision. It was probably our heart and not our minds that got us into the Borg.

    Remember: With the Borg it's all about how it looks and not about the sin.

    Faraon

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    Well i guess it makes me petty and unloving, but hell yes i'd tell u to go to the elders and fess up or u will. And her husband has a right to know. How dare they judge u when they have skeltons in their closet. After 22 years, they shun u. What do u owe them?

    I know how this sounds, and maybe u want to take the high road, but i would let it it rip. How much worse will it be for u? She should get a dose of her own medicine.

    The sad part is, if the hubby forgives, the elders will view it as "old" and if her conduct has be ok since, probably do nothing to her.

    weds

  • scotsman
    scotsman

    Leave it alone. Witness family are like an old scabby wound that it is irresistable to pick at but it just prolongs the wound. Your mother and sister have made their fcuked up decision and you wont change their minds bringing this up.

    Move on and be fabulous.

  • peacefulpete
    peacefulpete

    Your husband is right. Separate the issues and it becomes clear. IF she was not treating you coldly, but rather you continued a warm and friendly relationship, would you even consider exuming the past? (even on priciple or to impress on her the cult nature of the JWs) If not then your motivation is retaliation.

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