Yerusalyim doesn't wear a tie, so can we really consider him as elder? I'll bet he doesn't have a 4-door car either; what kind of example would that be for the congregation? However, I wear a tie and have a van--that's the only qualifications elders need, isn't it?
New Congregation
by Deacon 43 Replies latest jw friends
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Amazing
You also need a villian. So, I volunteer to be your first Apostate!
Amazing
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Yerusalyim
Java,
How wrong you are, not only do I have a four door car, but I also have SEVERAL ties. Not only that but I have an exaggerated sense of self importance, and I NEVER pass up a free meal at the best restraunt in town. I know how to suck up (which will come in handy when we have a DO so I can move up) and I know how to be completely out of touch with people and reality (Potential GB member, especially since I can just make up stuff off the wall and call it doctrine).
You be an Elder, you can even be the secretary, I think Deacon gets to be the PO until we remove his priveleges for reporting a Child Molestor to the authorities...Hey, who wants to volunteer to be Sister Pioneer?
Yeru who thinks this is a fun post
YERUSALYIM
I like peanut butter, can you rollerskate? -
JeffT
I have a beard. Does that mean I can't have any responsibilities?
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OrangeBlossom
Can I be an elderette?
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Francois
Um, I think we should arrange for a worship service that includes sex and marijuana. Maybe even blood. And we should end each service by all facing Brooklyn and having our chief elderatrix wave a dead chicken at the Borg's printing plant.
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Mommie Dark
Francoise, we need fun, not blood! Instead of dead chickens, we can meanacingly wave fried chicken legs towards Brooklyn, ritually, and then we can eat the chicken after we smoke the dope!
Joel has the sex part of the services covered in the bathroom...
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BoozeRunner
DJ's are notorious for hookin up the mari-juana. And all that WORLDLY music. That must put me in line to be the PO's son.
Boozy
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ladonna
Hey Deac,
Great idea.....but....what about the 144,000?????
And the CO's.....and come on, let us ladies have the POWER this time around :)
Oooofirst elderettes meeting..."which male can we DFS?"
La Donna Ana
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COMF
I suggest that we use the ladies in offices of oversight. Then the scripture will really be true: "If any man is reaching out for an office of oversight, he is desirous of a fine thing."
I, on the other hand, am willing to handle the finances. I would also like to be responsible for the literature, so that the society's expressed wishes can be applied, i.e., literature will truly be on a donation basis... everything, bound volumes, CDs, movies, you name it.
But I'm not proud... I can handle the mikes, if that is where my services are needed. Just, you'll need to accept the job the way I do it. I'll put the mikes where I think is best.
COMF