Help! Help! My son wants to tell elders about me

by LostMyReligion 49 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  esther

  LMR, the first thing I would do is close that particular email account down and delete the messages, so no evidence is available. Then I would go to the elders yourself, as suggested, with a minor doubt. Maybe you could say that you have been depressed and that led you to have doubts, and you could say, truthfully, that the doubts are resolving themselves. Remember, strategic lying to the enemy, you don't have to say which way your doubts are resolving themselves. Do not admit to any wrong-doing. You have not done anything wrong, because you have dedicated yourself to Jehovah, not the organisation. The organisation has told us many times that we only have to tell the truth to people who have the right to know. It may be hard to do, but try watchtower doublespeak. Remember, we are here for you.

  esther
• 

  JT

  Calm down, calm down,- you have come to the right place for advice-

  first off you need to get it into your mind that your son is merely acting THE WAY HE IS SUPPOSE TO it has nothing to do with you being his mother after years of intense training for the day that he finds a member of the congo be it you or anyone else who has anti-wt material

  he has been taught to react the way that he has- in fact this is really the key to dealing with him- for you know every single move he will make being that his WT Software has kicked in- so you can plan you moves accordingly - he will not change - it;s in the software- smile

  so what you need to do is call him in and talk with him and let him know how much you love him and are thankful that he is concerned about your welfare , this way you can start to put him at ease- at this point he will assume that he is makeing some headway with you - and it is ok at this time for him to think so-

  please sat aside the "standing for your principal line" cause you need to realize at this point in the game there are NO PRINCIPALs ONLY SURVIAL-

  IF YOU ARE AS CONCERNED ABOUT BEING DF AS YOU PRESENT then you will do the following-

  it is called Theocatic Warfare IN REVERSE- AS JW THEY Have no problem telling those WHO HAVE NO RIGHT whatever they want to tell them

  likewise with you at this point your son HAS NO RIGHT TO KNOW ANYTHING as to how you feel and therefore under the "RULES OF ENGAGEMENT" you can tell him anything you want to with a completelY FREE CONSCEINCE that is of course if you truly care as to whether you will be dfed or not

  if you don't care if you are dfed or considered da then go in with your GUNS BLAZING, but that is not the impression i get as to how you want to handle this situation.

  You are a person who needs to do the DRIFT AWAY technique

  but now that you have these concerns you will need to change how you do it. consider the following

  1. let your son know that you have thought long and hard and prayed about the matter and realized your error)(recall Jimmy Swaggart)

  I HAVE SINNED it worked didnt' it smile

  2. thank him for being there when you needed him- let him know that you have just been overcome with so much pressure of the day to day and you let down your guard. AND YOU merely failed to follow the WT advice on being carefully on the net and that is all due to just being discouraged and feeling somewhat depressed

  at this point he will be feeling sorry for you.

  3. let him know that you will seek the help of the older men for that is what they are for.

  4. since he has given you a deadline you will need to at least speak to an elder that you feel comfortable with- let him know that you have been depressed, discouraged and feeling somewhat low and you would appreaciate a scriptual PICK ME UP-

  DO NOT MENTION THE NET

  you need to play this game for at least 1 solid month-

  if you ARE still attending meetings dont miss one if you can help it

  if you can go out in service on the weekend don't miss a sat

  stay for 45min to an hour and claim you have a call to meet at 11:00am- if someone wants togo with you just drive around and say THIER CAR IS NOT HOME -

  AT THE end of the month then you need to start your exit program

  start missing meeting and slowly start the drift process it may take 2 to 4 months and then never set foot in the hall again

  you need time to get herself together

  when you can leave on YOUR TERMS then you can decide when you want to tell them to kiss your a$$ as to being forced to do so when you are not ready.

  encourage you to read the thread below as well

  most jw don't know how to get out INTACT and as a result they leave often times in a mental mess

  just some thoughts

  of course if you don't care then tell your son to do as he pleases

  but i don't get the impression that is the way you want to go AT THIS TIME OR THAT WAY

  JAMES

  GO TO THIS THREAD AS WELL

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=5574&site=3
• 

  Pathofthorns

  stay for 45min to an hour and claim you have a call to meet at 11:00am- if someone wants togo with you just drive around and say THIER CAR IS NOT HOME -

  Priceless... LOL

  Path
• 

  RationalWitness

  LMR,

  I feel for you. Your situation is precisely what this year's convention drama is certain to produce: broken families in the name of toxic religious control. How appropriate that the drama focused on Moses' authority, something the GB desperately wish to believe they have--and the same authority the pharisees aspired to, as Jesus condemnation reveals in Matthew 23:1-7. (Note, particularly, Jesus words: they "have seated THEMSELVES in the seat of Moses." Hmmm, did they have dramas in Jesus' day?)

  In your case, why say anything at all? So long as your son cannot actually produce the emails in question, you need say nothing more than that you discussed some questions/issues with someone over the Internet ... it is personal, and they have nothing specific to question you over. If they press the issue by asking whether you believe the GB is the 'representative' of the "faithful and discreet slave" class (or some such nonsense), you can simply say something like 'It is not up to me to make judgments of what others claim; they can claim whatever authority they wish, and what I believe about it will not change it one way or the other. So unless you can show me in Jesus' own words a "litmus test" whereby faith in the GB is a Christian requirement, I'd prefer you leave my private life private.'

  My best wishes to you in this matter. Keep us posted.

  Rational
• 

  JT

  pathofhorns

  stay for 45min to an hour and claim you have a call to meet at 11:00am- if someone wants togo with you just drive around and say THIER CAR IS NOT HOME -

  Priceless... LOL

  Path

  #############

  one of the reasons wt is so effective and is they they view themselves like Mcviegh "AT WAR"

  IT REALLY saddens me to see so many former jw simply forget everything or perhaps should i say fail to recall what they were taught as jw.

  the mindset of a jw is PreWired you know everything that they will do

  we literally have all thier "Battle Plans" and yet time and time again i see persons here fail to take advantage of all that knowledge they have on how a typical jw will react under this or that type of circumstance.

  i tell you this NET "THANG" is going to prove to be the wt thorn in the flesh

  consider that a few yrs back if this sister got caught with an apostate letter WHO COULD SHE CALL!!!!!!!!!!

  YET IN THE span of 30 min he will have all the advice she need to survive this challenge so that she can get out INTACT

  YES I LOVE THIS NET "THANG"

  james
• 

  JT

  RW

  while i agree with your statment i wonder is SHE READY for what she may have to deal with

  you said "If they press the issue"

  well that is the key and if they do will she be prepared AT THIS TIME IN HER LIFE TO DEAL WITH THEM

  if her elders are half sharp a response like coming from A WEAK WOMAN would send thier flags straight up:

  "It is not up to me to make judgments of what others claim; they can claim whatever authority they wish, and what I believe about it will not change it one way or the other. So unless you can show me in Jesus' own words a "litmus test" "

  And in my view would just open the floodgates of questions and it would end up trapping her=

  my only concern is "IF" she does'nt want to be dealt with AT THIS TIME

  THEN tell them anything they want to hear Surivive

  in fact i was thinking about Aux next month- smile i'm sure the time out in Jah service would lift my spirits

  my only point is this:

  If a person is NOT READY at this time THEN why not use your knowledge of thier Battle plans to your advantage till you can get yourslef in a position where you are ready to deal with them
• 

  DannyBear

  JT,

  Can anyone really get out intact? Maybe less painless, but having to resort to their (jw) own mind-numbing subterfuge is not appealing, unless you are into self abuse.

  Keeping one's family intact is a positive goal...but how long can someone stomach, keeping up a false 'face'. I guess it is possible, ie: Biblexaminer, but the toll must be very high on one's own sense of honesty and self worth. Maybe their games require to high a price to pay?

  Danny
• 

  patio34

  LMR,

  My sympathies are with you! A lot of good advice is here. Please keep us posted on the next few happenings, ok?

  Only one thing I would add and that is what the Insight and WT have commented on (under 'lie,' I believe). The point is made that if someone is NOT ENTITLED to an answer then they are NOT ENTITLED to the full truth.

  The examples presented are, I believe, Jesus before Pilate, Abraham re Sarah being his sister, and several others.

  While you may view it as a loss of integrity, please read up on the rationale in the Insight book. It may help you come up with a compromise in your answers.

  I feel the advice to take the initiative to speak to an elder and gloss over what's going on excellent.

  I have a plan that if ever I feel they are going to brand me an apostate, that I'll pull out a pack of cigarettes and honestly say they're mine. Then they can at least df me.

  But I don't feel these self-appointed policemen are entitled to anything.

  Good luck and let us know, okay?

  Pat
• 

  RationalWitness

  Hi JT, long time no hear.

  LMR will have to select from among the various comments offered (or come up with another way of handling the situation), based on what s/he feels is best. I offered my suggestion as an additional option to those previously given (not as 'the best'). It's not possible for us to tell from this distance what the local elders are like or how they are likely to act given the fact that it's one person's 'word' against another's. Hopefully s/he can just deflect the whole situation, since they have no physical evidence to support any accusations.

  Hey, man, when you gonna get back out here?

  Cheers,
  Rational
• 

  LostMyReligion

  Thanks everyone for your support and suggestions.

  I will carefully consider the options you offered. I am trying to keep my head together. I am right now visiting my other son who left JWs, and I have some comfort and support there. However there is much difficulty on the horizon.

  Thanks again!

  LMR