Help! Help! My son wants to tell elders about me (page 3)

JT

Can anyone really get out intact? Maybe less painless, but having to resort to their (jw) own mind-numbing subterfuge is not appealing, unless you are into self abuse.

*******8

in the complete sense of the word-- of course not, but as you stated "less painful"

as to having to resort to thier tactics- my point is simple- coming to the net provides a person with all the options as to HOW AND WHEN to leave-- along with thier pros and cons-- so that they can decide what is good for them

what is good for you and i may not be what someone else wants to do

keep in mind everyone is not in the same situtation- you see in wt we learn that one size fits all:

"If a sister with one leg and 6 kids can swim across snake infested water and make the meetings on time -then you can make the meeting if it is the next block over" mindset

some are old and may live with thier kids who are jw, much different from a 22 yr old who is leaving home next month anyway to go out on his own

the ways of leaving run from telling the elders , your family , wife, son and daughter to kiss your A$$ this ain't the truth alll the way to "Drifitng Away" and everything in between

we merely want to provide options along with the pros and cons

james

rutht

Dear Lost,

I am not and never have been a jw, so I am really not in a position to give you advice. However, I am having trouble getting past your son's lack of remorse for reading your mail. Even though it is a family account, if it is addressed to you, he should not have read it. Doesn't he feel guilty about reading something that was not addressed to him and then blackmailing you with it? I am having trouble seeing which is the greater sin.
Rutht

Tina

rutht,
If you had been a jw you would know why the son thinks he's right in doing what he's doing. Familiarize yourself with indoctrination and mind-control.It'll help you understand why these dynamics happen. regards,Tina

JT

LMR will have to select from among the various comments offered (or come up with another way of handling the situation), based on what s/he feels is best. I offered my suggestion as an additional option to those previously given (not as 'the best').

######

Your point was an excellent on she needs as many options as she can get and go from there

Hey, man, when you gonna get back out here?

########3

we are kicking around the week of July 4th are you all going to be in town we would love to hook up if nothing more than out to dinner

let me know

thanks

James

Kismet

I am really sorry you have been put in that circumstance by your own family..

So many have already provided excellent comments. I just wanted to add a couple of other thoughts.

First consider the possibility that your son has already approached teh elders. Dear Brother So & so, I found this letter on my dad's computer blah blah blah.. what ever shall I do?" It might be an idea to ask your son, have you approached anyone yet about this, if yes, I'd like to know who so I can approach him without necessarily involving more individuals... or something simliar. this can show your willingness to follow through on what your son that was necessary.

Then approach the elder in a somewhat serious but not overly sobre frame of mind.. My son told me he had a conversation with you and I wanted to follow up with you on it. I'm not sure what my son thinks he saw but .....

A lot of JW's family or otherwise will often run to the elders first long before speaking directly to the person involved. It happened to me several times with various JW roomates. For the most part the above approach worked tho a lot of the times it was bigus accusations.. demon music in my collection, having an R rated movie in my video collection...Caught more than one room mate going through my desk, photos, letters, computer...

Or just level with the guy and tell him you have been having some doubts and you are just doing the Borean thing of making sure of all things and you think your son is just overreacting to something he read in an email.

You can always start talking about chronology...most elders would rather face a dozen CO's than talk chronology... smirk

Best of luck. If I can ever be of help please drop me an email. [email protected] ... (Word to the wise, I use this one since my usual personal email became filled with spam when I posted it here before - bots are verywhere...just remove the "nospam" from the address)

Kismet

AGuest

Hello, dearest LMR... and may you have peace!

The BEST thing to do? Tell your SON... the truth about your doubts and feelings. Tell him that just HE has to do what HE has to do... you have to do what YOU have to do. And that is... tell the truth. Tell him WHY you have doubts. This is your SON, LMR. If he can't hear the truth from his own father/mother, who in the WORLD is he to hear it from?

As for the 'Borg... fagetabowtit! Yes, you most probably will be reproved, rebuked and... expelled. As my Lord said, "They WILL expel you from their synagogues." But if they do it, they WON'T be doing it because you committed some 'error'. They will be doing it because YOU... told the truth.

Truly, it IS the best thing. Albeit, it won't be the easiest. I cannot lie to you.

I am sure that there are many here whose hearts... and prayers... will be with you. And, if you 'wish' it, you can ALWAYS take to heart the words at 2 Corinthians 6:16-18, which says:

"Therefore, GET OUT FROM AMONG THEM... and QUIT touching
the unclean thing... and I WILL TAKE YOU IN. And I shall
be a Father to you and you will be SONS and DAUGHTERS to
me,' say JAH the Almighty."

You don't HAVE to be 'alone' in this, LMR. For my Lord DID say, "Look! I am WITH you... ALL the days... until the conclusion of the age."

Again, I bid you peace, and remain,

Your servant and a slave of Christ,

SJ

Mazza

Hi LMR, Speaking as one who lost her family when she lost her religion, I know that they don't let up on shunning. I've now done 20 yrs as an outcast. Actually that's probably a little misleading. They will shelve the shunning regulation temporarily to accept favors or acts of generosity from you - they then allow an acceptableshort period of time to pass before returning to the full shun! You won't know ahead of time how strict your son will be - but given his hard line thus far, it's not looking good.

So ditch your principles, ditch your honesty, and ditch your apostasy! Don't forget WORDS ARE CHEAP - say whatever it takes to get over this hump in the road. If possible try to bypass the elders. Contact your son and tell him that you can't bare to loose his respect and affection so you have decided to engage in an intense period of Bible reading and prayer. Tell him that if you have the right heart condition and attitude then you feel confident that you can restore your relationship with Jehovah. Explain that ultimately the elders can't hold your hand thru Armegeddon, so you consider this a challenge - to stand on your own two feet and deal with this attack on your spiritually. Ask him to come and pray with you??

If he insists on the elders getting involved then repeat what you have said to your son to them - that you have given it a great deal of thought and that you are going to work really hard to overcome your doubts thru prayer and Bible reading. I really don't see how they can d'fd you if you don't admit to anything. Just be vague about the doubts - non threatening, wishy washy etc. Be humble and submissive and vulnerable and pathetic!!

It may all get too much for you over time and you may end up having to face the real possibility that you will loose your son. But don't give up without a good fight! Play dirty! They do!

Marilyn

Kent

Tell your son he can do whatever he please. Don't DA yourself, and throw your asshole son out of the house!

If he's tough enough to start this shit - hes tough enough to find himself another place to live as well!

Yakki Da

Kent
Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
http://watchtower.observer.org

Francois

What a self-righteous little prick you've raised.

Have you thought of kicking his nuts up to his nose and dare him to open his mouth? Just a thought.

Seriously, this is another example of how the JWs are a mirror image of the behavior of Nazis. People were to report their parents; their friends and neighbors. And did. And did in the full knowledge that their parents would be taken away by the gestapo and returned in a cigar box.

Perhaps you're being presented with an opportunity to make an open, clean, free break. You're staying in to protect your family relationships, right?

I thought I had strong family relationships, too, 25 years ago when I left. Wrong. An uncle - 9 years older than I - who referred to me as "the closest thing he'd ever had to a real brother" cut off communication with me for the next 16 years. Not a peep. And my best friend in college. Gone. Never loosened up.

From today's perspective, I wonder if it's worth it to put up a false front in order to keep communication open with people who would betray you for the ever-shifting teachings, mega-multiple failed prophecies, doctrinal flip-flops, and all else of a known religious cult - one that protects child molesters. Hard call.

You will let us know how this situation progresses?

Francois

JT

tina says

rutht,
If you had been a jw you would know why the son thinks he's right in doing what he's doing. Familiarize yourself with indoctrination and mind-control.It'll help you understand why these dynamics happen. regards,Tina

########

excellent point- while it is good to see that this nonjw wants to comment on the thread - their post only highlights the point tha most folks have no idea as to how High Control Groups works

while he is 100% correct in a Normal family where issues of respect and privacy are accorded each person - in High Control Groups the "TURNING IN" OR "REPORTING" is a normal part of those groups

you suggestion for them to better informed themselves was an excellent point

james

Help! Help! My son wants to tell elders about me

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