Why are you cooking for her
why are you setting the vcr for her
If you need the bathroom because you have to get ready for work then take it first
Eat out until she does the dishes
Why is he cooking for her? Why is he setting the VCR for her? Why does he let her use the bathroom first? Becuse he is her husband, and she is his wife, and that's what we do in marriage--we take care of our spouses and try to make them happy. It's his job. Is it always an easy job? Is it hearts and flowers and constant fabulous sex every minute of every day of every month of every year? Of course not. Sometimes it's painful, and it's heartbreaking, and it's
not always easy.
When my husband and I were engaged, my father gave us this very important piece of advice: Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership, it's two people giving at least 100% all of the time. That means that sometimes one partner has to give more than they think they can when the other partner isn't able to--and even though it isn't always easy, you do it because you know that there will be a time that your spouse will do the same when the situation is reversed.
From what you write, it looks like right now it's your turn to give 150%. I am so sorry that you are hurting, and that you and your wife are unhappy. My advice to you is to remember this: You love this woman. You may not love how she is treating you, you may not love the way she is acting, but only 8 months ago you both stood up in front of God and everyone and said--out loud--that you pledged to love eachother for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and in good times and bad. I encourage you to take that vow seriously and approach this situation with all of the love you have for your wife so that you can learn what each of you needs right now to be happy.
If your wife has not always been this way, if she hasn't always exhibited these behaviors towards you, take some time to find out where this behavior is coming from. You say, almost in passing, that she has just had a miscarriage. I reiterate what other posters have said in telling you that this is a monumental thing to have experienced. The loss of a pregnancy can have devastating emotional and physical effects for a woman. If this behavior began, or intensified, after the miscarriage you have a place to start.
Sit down with your wife and tell her what you are here telling us. Ask her what she needs from you, how you can make her happy, and tell her what you need from her. Talk about how to meet eachother's needs, and tell eachother what you will do to make it happen. I know it sounds trite, but it's a process you'll go through again and again throughout your marriage. As we grow, we change--and so do our needs. After 10 years, my husband and I still have these conversations--and I expect we will for the next 50 years as well. I'm not promising it will be a simple conversation, or an easy fix, but it's a start. Remember that you're learning how to merge your life with someone else in order to create a life together, and that's a tall order for anyone. It takes committment and time and work, but if you both give your best the payoff is worth it.
(edited because I can't spell worth a darn lately...)
