You Might Be An Apostate if..........( pure fluffy fun) : ) (page 2)

gitasatsangha

set up an autodialer to call Bethel at their 800 number thousands of times a day to annoy the operators and drive up their expenses.

Valis

if you go bwahahahahah every time you pass the KH...bwahahahah

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

you might be apostate if you say that jehovahs witnessess are a cult . You might be apostate if you don't own a sport coat and various ties . You might be apostate if the only brief case you own is full of dirty laundry. You might be apostate if you masturbate and don't feel guilty afterward.

Nosferatu

You might be an Apostate if...

Your Kingdom Melodies tapes actually contain Guns N Roses greatest hits

You attend the memorial just because you feel like an evening snack

Your bookshelf is now made out of Watchtower literature instead of holding it.

Your cat has taken to reading the Watchtowers at the bottom of the litter box

You kept your Assembly notebooks, which are full of doodles

Your Watchtower videos contain episodes of The Simpsons

Your old Kingdom Hall wardrobe no longer fits over your beer belly

You send apology letters to all the addresses in your Return Visit book.

You're age 62 and losing your virginity

cruzanheart

Aw, thanks, Shutterbug!!!

You might be an apostate if you are 32 years old and you just learned how to decorate a Christmas tree.

How about 48 years old?

You might be an apostate . . . if you're 48 years old and more excited about Christmas than the kids.

Nina

Wallflower

You might be an apostate if during the Memorial, if you put cheese on the bread and say, "it tastes just like Ryvita" as you munch it.

You might be an apostate if when answering a question during the Watchtower study, you say "Resistence is not futile".

You might be an apostate if during a District Convention you streak across in front of the stage, shouting "Look, I've got more balls than the lot of ya..."

little witch

You may be an apostate if......

Your children don't know what "jehovah" is...

Teee Heeee heeee

LyinEyes

OMG.........ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!my daughter has no clue what I am laughing at so hard about.hehe.........thankfully she may not ever remember why , huh?

Ya'll these are great and pure genius!!!!!!! There should be a book about all of this ,,,,,hehe.

You might be an apostate if................you go to the Memorial( because your kin begged you),,,dressed, in your best attire. Your "SlutPrincess" tube top, plaid short, short mini skirt, fishnet stocking, with sky high stillettos,,,,, in which you use to crush out your Marlboro cig, as you enter the front door.

You might be an apostate if............. on Halloween you allow your teenage son, who has some paybacks to do himself.........throw rotten eggs at the arsehole elder that lives around the corner.

You might be an apostate if ...........you have come to the conclusion that you will die, like everyone eles, and who the hell knows what is on the other side,,,,,,,so you party like it's 1975, 1999 (Bro. PRINCE) hehe, or 2004.

SYN

Here is an older thread: How To Tell If You Are An Apostate...

Jared

...when you're all out of rolling papers you reach for your miniature copy of the NWT ...

....where the hell DID I put that anyway??....

You Might Be An Apostate if..........( pure fluffy fun) : )