Comments You Won't Hear at the 3-28-04 WT Study

by blondie 41 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  UnDisfellowshipped

  Great job Blondie!

  16 If we are to maintain our chastity, another danger we need to beware of is flirting. Some may insist that flirting is innocent, harmless fun between members of the opposite sex. Admittedly, there is a time and place for amorous behavior. Isaac and Rebekah were observed "having a good time" together, and it was evident to onlookers that they were not merely brother and sister. (Genesis 26:7-9)

  However, they were husband and wife. Expressions of affection between them were appropriate.

  Flirting is another matter.

  17 Flirting may be defined this way: to signal romantic interest when there is no real intention to marry. Humans are complex creatures, so there are no doubt countless ways to flirt, some of them very subtle.

  Hard-and-fast rules

  , then cannot really address the matter. Rather, something more elevated is called for?honest self-examination and the conscientious application of Bible principles.

  18 If we are honest with ourselves, most of us will likely have to admit that when we sense that someone of the opposite sex has a romantic interest in us, we feel flattered. That is natural.

  But do we flirt in order to elicit such interest?just to give our ego a little boost or to evoke such a response in another? If so, have we considered the pain that we might be causing?

  For example, Proverbs 13:12 says: "Expectation postponed is making the heart sick." If we deliberately flirt with someone, we probably do not know just how that person is affected. He or she may develop expectations about courtship and even an eventual marriage. The ensuing disappointment can be crushing. (Proverbs 18:14) To toy with the feelings of others intentionally is cruel.

  19 It is particularly important to guard against flirting when it comes to married people. To signal romantic interest in a married person?or for a married person to show such interest in someone outside the marriage bond?is wrong.

  Blondie, check out the Question for Paragraph 16. The Watchtower is saying that "amorous behavior" is ONLY for MARRIED people.

  What is "amorous behavior"?

  Webster's Dictionary Definition of "Amorous":

  1 : strongly moved by love and especially sexual love <amorous women>
  2 : being in love : ENAMORED -- usually used with of <amorous of the girl>

  So, I get the feeling that the Society is saying that you must not fall in love until after you're married!

  Also, did you notice that the Watchtower is saying that "all good Christians" must have a chaperone on their dates.
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  blondie

  Flying, I'll be interested in that talk. Not that I expect anything new. I was a teenager in the 60's/70's and lived through the miniskirt era.

  Undisfellowshipped, the WTS does constrain dating JW couples to a great degree, even warning about holding hands. As if holding hands will make them suddenly want to jump on each other's bones. No kissing, no hugging even amongst friends. The first time I was hugged at the KH it was a Spanish congregation. I nearly jumped out of my skin thinking it was a sexual attack. Notice how these WTS quotes demonize affection, note the one about different cultures.

  w99 9/1 pp. 17-18 Youths?Train Your Perceptive Powers! /Keeping Courtship Honorable

  Another area in which your perceptive powers are needed is that of courtship. It is only natural to want to show affection to someone you care about. The chaste couple in the Song of Solomon evidently exchanged some displays of affection before they married. (Song of Solomon 1:2; 2:6; 8:5) Today, some courting couples may likewise feel that holding hands, kissing, and embracing are appropriate, especially when marriage seems imminent. But remember: "He that is trusting in his own heart is stupid." (Proverbs 28:26) Tragically, a number of couples have shown bad judgment by putting themselves into compromising circumstances. Displays of affection have become intense and uncontrolled; unclean acts have resulted and have even escalated to sexual immorality.

  w98 10/1 p. 19 Local Cultures and Christian Principles?Are They Compatible?

  STEPHEN, a Witness from Northern Europe, was assigned as a missionary to an African country. While strolling through town with a local brother, he was startled when the brother took hold of his hand.

  The thought of walking down a busy street holding hands with another man was shocking to Stephen. In his culture such a custom has homosexual connotations. (Romans 1:27) Nevertheless, to the African brother, holding hands was purely a gesture of friendship. The rejection of the hand would signify a rejection of the friendship.

  Why should clashes of culture concern us? First of all because Jehovah?s people are keen to fulfill their divine commission to "make disciples of people of all the nations." (Matthew 28:19) To accomplish this task, some have moved to serve where the need for ministers is greater. To succeed in their new environment, they must understand and adapt to the distinct cultures they encounter. Then they will be able to work in harmony with their fellow brothers and sisters, while also being more effective in the public ministry.

  Often the "right" and the "wrong" way to do something depends merely on where we are living. Thus, in one country hand-holding among men is a demonstration of friendship, while in many others it would surely detract from the Kingdom message.

  Family book chap. 2 p. 24 Preparing for a Successful Marriage

  How can you keep your courtship honorable? First, make sure that your moral conduct is above reproach. Where you live, is holding hands, kissing, or embracing considered appropriate behavior for unmarried couples? Even if such expressions of affection are not frowned upon, they should be allowed only when the relationship has reached a point where marriage is definitely planned. Be careful that displays of affection do not escalate into unclean conduct or even fornication.