Hello

by Garrett 50 Replies latest jw friends

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  FayeDunaway

  Hi Garrett! This is going to be the beginning of your new life, I'm excited for you. I agree with everyone else....fade. I faded successfully and my family came along, it's been a huge blessing. The journey was super scary and depressing. I don't know how I made it! But you are 21, which is so great. This experience will one day be just a small part of your life. First of all, try to make some new non witness friends. It can be awkward at first, and you may want to talk about this HUgE thing you are going through the whole time, and you will seem a little weird to them! These days worldly people are trying to be accepting of different people, and they'll be all, oh, you were a witness, that's nice, NO it isn't nice, it was awful!! They won't get it. But try to make friends with people who enjoy doing the same things you do. 

  Personally I found another Christian faith and it's been wonderful and a new community for me, so keep that option open for you unless you are feeling atheist, like many people here. Don't have the 'but what else is there, where would I go?' Attitude...that's what they want you to believe. If you go this direction, choose one that works with your own beliefs and liberalism or conservatism...there's lots of options. From the way you talk, I think you're more liberal. United church of Christ, Congregationalists, Presbyterians, then Methodists or Lutherans are a good place for you I think. But first of all do research, lots and lots of research, not only on the org history, but on Bible beliefs. Before I did this research, I didn't think I would ever be in another religion, but the research brought me to it. 

  There are many here who debunk the bible and God, and that's where they arrived on their own journeys. Everyone is different tho, and you need to follow your own instincts...it might be that direction, it might be another. I just know that having faith has helped me a lot and I would recommend studying if you can. 

  See a doctor about the depression, it sounds severe. But also know that probably most of us went through depression when we learned ttatt. It's a form of grieving and huge uncertainty and just, mess. So it's really hopeful down the line for you that this won't be a permanent affliction.

  much love!
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  Garrett

  Hi everyone. Thank you so much or your answers. I(m not exactly sure how to respond to any of you so that you can actually see that I responded, so I'm going to try to post here.

  
  

  As I said, I haven't been to a meeting in over 2 weeks. Tomorrow is the meeting and I'm not going. None of my family are witnesses so to be honest, I could care less about being shunned. I sincerely do not wish to return to the hall. I'm the type of person that, once he's made up his mind, doesn't change it. Going to the hall and pretending to be a witness would make me just like most of them. Hypocrites.

  I was thinking of cutting all associations from them and any "friends" making it so that they had no way of contacting me. That way, I can do what I have to and don't have to worry about them coming to my home calling me etc.

  Also, I live in France, moved from the US a few years ago.
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  Village Idiot

  Congratulations Garrett, you've already exited the Watchtower. Good fortune for the rest of your life.
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  Oubliette

  Garrett,

  Don't write a letter. It will only make things worse. Just leave, or better yet--since you haven't gone to a meeting in 2 weeks--just stay away. Don't go back.

  Fading is a slow and painful process. Simply stopping is much better (although not everyone can emotionally pull it off).

  When the elders do start hounding you say something like, "I told you, 'I'm depressed,' please just leave me alone."

  If they ask anything else, especially "loyalty questions," just repeat the above.

  I recommend reading Steven Hassan's book, Releasing the Bonds. It's very helpful.

  
  

  

  
  

  Best wishes,

  Oubliette
  
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome!

  Plenty of things to do in France besides sit in a Salle!
  
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  rebel8

  You can "be done with it" inside yourself. No need to help them do their mean, bullying shunning ritual and feel superior to you.

  Good luck to you. The bright spot is you're young and have most of your life ahead of you to become your authentic, happy self. :)
  
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  William Penwell

  I came to these conclusions 40 years ago. Just remember that 99.9% of the population are not JW's, so you have a whole new world out there to discover. Just as there was in the congregation, there are good and bad people. You just have to be careful who you choose for friends.
  
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  Hortensia

  I just want to say I suffered from severe depression as a JW. I finally gave up just because I was so depressed I couldn't function. I figured I was going to be burnt toast at armageddon anyway. Amazingly, the longer I stayed away from meetings, the better I felt! And when I felt better I could be more logical about JWs and religion in general.

  
  I say, don't go back to the meetings. You don't want to get to the point I was at if you can avoid it, so give it all up now and go find a more interesting life.
  
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  joe134cd

  I find myself parroting this every couple of weeks. It just amazes me how an organization will spend billions of dollars and countless man hours trying to get a new member and yet will do virtually nothing to retain that same member. Here is a post I made on this topic.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/274424/how-many-cong-visited-you-when-you-started-fading

  You are at a Hugh advantage over us. You are young, and because of your lack of family ties in the Org just makes fading so much easier.
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  titch

  Garrett:  Welcome to this Website.  You've come to the right place to be, in discovering it.  I hope that the comments from everyone on this site,  will help and benefit you a lot!  I convey to, my Best Regards...

  Titch