by Thunder Rider 66 Replies latest jw friends
I don't think it was time wasted at all. I met very nice people, had and continue to have good times often in social ocassions; learned very good manners and about many other subjects, and why not, about the Bible too. Acquired very good speaking and speech delivery methods.
No, this particular experience in my life was ever a totaly bad experience.
Examine yourselves, I'm sure it wasn't absolutely bad for anyone.
DY
Myself only. Although I was young when I started studying, I was an emancipated minor. I made my own choice to enter into a contract with the WTS, and I made my own choice to stay and make myself miserable. I also made my own choice to leave twenty years later.
You could say, I was a victim of my own inexperience
In my escape, I became my own hero and savior.
Thunder rider, I really liked that - very inspiring.
ps. surely you meant, sorry flower, your feelings on this are different than mine.
You're right, Flower. That would have been a better way to express it. Sorry!
I agree that a child doesn't have a choice, but teenagers sure do, as you will find out all too soon. There is only so much control they will allow you to exert, and then they bolt, or manipulate to get what they want. Our son climbed out his bedroom window and took off. He exercised his rights as an individual, and refused to be controlled by us or a religion. He is 37 now, and still very much an independent thinker. We have a huge family, and he is the only Republican in the group. He has all the facts and data and can argue very intelligently with the rest of us, who lean towards being Independents or Green Party. No one can make him do or think anything he doesn't believe in.
So, my point is, it depends on the child how much they will let you choose for them. Some 3 year olds have definite taste in clothes, shoes and more, and refuse to wear some things. Something to think about anyway.
I blame the org for preying on my very vulnerable mother and I blame my father for putting my mom in that state.
So, my point is, it depends on the child how much they will let you choose for them.
Individual circumstances being what they are, I really don't understand some of these blanket statements. That excuse won't fly with the many in whose childhood JWism and abuse were interwoven.
To me, that's like saying that a kid could be sexually violated by his/her parents for twelve years, but when said child turns thirteen, suddenly s/he chooses it.
Some JW parents were actually very fair in their treatment of their children, which I think is awesome. BUT -- there was a far different reality for a lot of us who were raised in it. Some of our parents, believe it or not, actually used JWism as a "rod" -- of spirit breaking/soul-destroying abuse.
I blame the guys at the top of the Org. They are the ones putting out all the rules and regulations for the members to follow. They are bloodguilty as hell for misleading and confusing so many who are being lead by them. It is not always a personal choice to be a JW if you are born and bred into the cult (brainwashed) or if you come into it during a weak point in your life (my case) and are manipulated and then used by them because of your vunerability at the time.
(Sorry I am going through an "angry at the Org" processing phase at the moment).
cybs
I blame both my parents. As a parent myself, I see the greatest gift you can give a child is to teach him to be a tolerant, responsive human being. Teach him to be a part of society, community, traditions, celebrations, to basically be a part of life. To help them set dreams and goals, and help them acheive them.
By her rigid adherent to the WTS lying doctrines, she systematically destroyed what most parents naturally want to create. She selfishly rejected what any common sense parent would want to instill in their child. Adherning to the cult and "appearing" to be a good JW was all that mattered.
My father is equally to blame because he was a hypocrite; he did not believe it, but he insisted we children follow my mother's dictates. My mother was not involved in our lives, other than to make sure we went to meetings, appeared to be good JW's. Sure, she was a stay-at-home mom technically, but she was never there. She was out in service all the time. I remember as a 5 yo kid panicking because when the bus dropped me off from school, she wasn't home and the door was locked. I was terrified and felt abandoned. She drove into the driveway about a half hour later; she had been out in service and just got sidetracked. Those are things you never forget.
During holiday celebrations at school, I was pulled out and had to sit in the prinicpal's office. She could have picked me up at school, taken me out to lunch, do SOMETHING other than let me sit in the principal's office like a complete outcast.
The problem is, she just didn't give a sh*t. All she cared about was following the letter of the JW law. Even to this day, she wants to see my children, but only if we can schedule it around HER meetings, service, assemblies, whatever, and then for only 45 minutes to an hour. If I don't go to great pains to schedule her token hour around all her JW activities, she gets resentful. I've learned not to care.
She embodies the cold, unfeeling, puritanical JW attitude. And yes, I blame her for not having the common sense to see it, as well as the basic nurturing skills to see beyond it. Yes, she is my mother and I love her as such, but I comsider her and my father to blame. But I WILL stop the cycle of JW abuse toward children.
He is 37 now, and still very much an independent thinker. We have a huge family, and he is the only Republican in the group. He has all the facts and data and can argue very intelligently with the rest of us, who lean towards being Independents or Green Party. No one can make him do or think anything he doesn't believe in.
37 is a far cry from a teenager. I personally also believe there is FAR more pressure on young women in the borg. I literally had no choice. I'm a very strong minded person now, but I was miserable during my teen years. I could not date, could not join any social organizations, I of course, was allowed to have no plans for college. The only acceptable course for me, which was ingrained is, get through high school, pioneer for a couple of years, find a husband, eventually have children. No goal to support myself, go to college, etc. This message was overtly and subtely ingrained in me. I was actually chastized by my mom for rejecting the advances of a guy who was an elder (and a dweeb). It was as though I should jump at the chance to be married to an elder (obviously, something she thought was noble).
When you are raised in a cult like the JWs, you have no current or even future means of support outside of your abusive family, you do what you need to do to survive. Once you really break away, start living a life apart from the JW's, you begin to truly think for yourself. Not out of rebellion (which most teens always tend to do), but out of realizing you have the strength of character to reject the cult values and make something of your life.
I believe that's why so many young people who reject the JWs early on get into trouble (obviously just fulfilling the JW prediction). They hate the confinement of the borg, they can't do what their other friends do. But they have neither the mental, emotional, spiritual, or economic base to draw upon to create a better life.
No one.
