talk about second childhoods - when I was almost 40 I got kicked out of the park after 11 PM for loitering (actually I was having a watermelon fight with my girlfriend)
it was a blast
Do Abused Children Tend To Be Abusive Adults???
by minimus 47 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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LyinEyes
hehehe, Lady Lee........"you GO girl"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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little witch
LOL
Yep, me too.....food fights in a perfectly peaceful (before I showed up)restaraunt with my kids. Tee hee hee
And my all time favorite....chocolate cake batter fights!
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S G
I was looking for some information for my art project and i stumbled onto this sight from yahoo. My art project is all about converting an old tatered book into a new work of art and my theme for my book was my greatest fears. i am 15 years old and my greatest fear is to turn into my father. i remember all of the physical abuse and threats he gave my mother my brother and i and i really could not live with myself if i grew up and abused my children like he did. throwing my children into walls head first, picking my 7 year old son up by his throte and slaming him into the wall while i look up into his eyes and threaten his life for something so insegnificant, and chaseing my wife around the house with a kitchen knife for sticking up for them isnt something i want to grow up to do. i want to be the cool parent were my children can come to me to ask me anything and to tell me anything ( like my mom) who has faught tooth and nail to keep me and my bro happy. i dont want to make my children fear me or curse my name as i do to my father and i dont want my wife and children to have to call the police on me every other day for about 3 years and have to hide away inside because of the fear of if my family does come out ill say i will kill them over and over. i dont want the hole entire police department to fear me(the place i used to work) so that when my family does try to get help from me they wont come unless there 3-4 units of police cars are coming up at once. my friends souldnt have to shut me out of there lives and abandon me so i can be alone forever. i have not seen him in about 5 years and as of right now i dont think i ever will again i just dont want to and i dont think i need to(i also dont want this for my children) i want them to look up to me and i want the ''you go girl fealing'' or the ''you go boy fealing''. i have read the entire post and i can relate to alot of the things you pulled up lady lee and i thank you for showing these things to me and everyone else. i used to think that i was the only one that it was happening to so it was fine i just had to deal with it. and i thought it was my falt for the beatings i thought if i was good he wouldnt hurt me or my mom or brother but nomatter what i did he always found falt he always found a way to hit me and he always seemed to like it. so for you question Do abused children tend to be abusive adults?? i just dont know, but i can promise you one thing i will not.
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minimus
S G, WELCOME HERE!!!! I'm glad you werev able to find this thread off Yahoo. Come back and visit again!
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BLISSISIGNORANCE
It is amazing how in the borg the elders can make the victim feel and carry guilt.
My 6 yo child who was sexually abused by a dub firstly felt guilt about the actual incident, then about the events following the abuse, the telling, and finally my df'ing.
I will never forget how sick I felt when one of the elders dealing with our case said to me, "now that this has happened, your child had the VIRUS. It has been passed on by the pedo and we will need to keep an eye on your child. He has been infected."
Myth #6 - The "Vampire Syndrome" that is, boys who are sexually abused, like the victims of Count Dracula, go on to "bite" or sexually abuse others.
This myth is especially dangerous because it can create a terrible stigma for the child, that he is destined to become an offender. Boys might be treated as potential perpetrators rather than victims who need help.
That is the kindest thing that elder ever said to me, and the most interest he ever showed my child!!!!!!!!!!! God I hate them.
Anyhow, my child has never abused another person, he has a girlfriend, does well at school and sport and is very happy and content. But then again, I put alot of effort into helping my child understand he WAS NOT GUILTY of anything that happened, that I would do anything to protect him and other kids and that what the pedo did was sick and wrong and not accepted by society in general. My family left the borg for the lies and deceipt...........but mostly for the way they treat the victims of sexual abuse, particularly my child.
I don't know how the whole sexual abuse cycle works or what the statistics are but I do know that I was sexually abused and I could never do that to another human. I also know that more girls are abused yet there are more male perps................go figure.
thank god that chapter of our lives is over.
Cheers, Bliss
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Incense_and_Peppermints
i don't know what statistics say, or what other people have experienced-- i can only relate my POV. i endured physical and emotional abuse, and knew when i was going through it that when i grew up, i would never hurt my child in the same way, because it didn't feel good. people are amazed when they do find out what kind of home i come from..because they look at me and they look at my son and see a healthy, well adjusted child, who has never known anything from either of his parents except love and understanding. he has never even been hit by either one of us, screamed at, shamed, etc. so, i guess my answer is abusive environments do tend to produce abusive adults, but at the same time, there are those who break the cycle, and if i could break the cycle, why can't others? i have absolutely no sympathy for anyone who abuses any child and blames it on their crappy childhood!
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stopthepain
Alls I can say is,I know my parents were abused physically,phycologically,and emotionally,and it carried over bigtime into my life.They became dubs to make things better,but live and learn.I*'m the oldest male,and my younger siblings didn't have it nearly as bad.FACT.
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S G
i am also the oldest male and my younger brother didnt see half as much of the violence that i did. it seemed to me that my father realized that he really screwed up with me and tried to ignore me after my little brother was born aside from when he found falt in me but now because the police and the counselors and everyone else has covered it up from my little brother he wants to see him and i really just feel like telling him the truth and i have but he wont lissen he just thinks hes the best person in the world and i think he needs to realize that he isnt
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kaykay_mp
I was sexually, emotionally, and physically abused, but I would never even dream of doing that to my own two boys, because (1) they're all I have, (2) it's illegal (duh), (3) and children don't know any better--so why are you severely punishing them for something they don't know any better about?
Yes, I have mildly spanked them (a couple of taps on the backside) on occasion and may have screamed at them a couple of times, but I've never done anything to them what was done to me up until my 18th b-day.
So I say no, not all abused children turn out to be abusive adults.
laters
kaykay_mp