by simplesally 35 Replies latest jw friends
Mulan.... when I was little I would irritate my mother by calling her all the time "Mom here, Mom look at this, Mom, Mom, Mom can we?"
She once told me she was going to go to the DMV and have her named legally changed to a 4 letter word and then DARE me to call her that!!!
It didnt make sense to me at the time, but not in retrospect I think it's the funniest thing and cant wait to tell MY kids that!
...after reading some of these posts I realize that I must be a tough New York piece of grizzle...
My kids tell me in all earnestness they hate me all the time I tell them to do their homework and go to bed; dress appropriately; speak like a gentleman; pronounce your words correctly.
I hear it so often that I let it roll off my back.
They tell their mother that too; my wife and I just laugh and tell them to " get on line".
I know the kids love me ( and their mother), no matter what they say. They are little humans with no real life experience to speak of and they react so quickly to their own emotions--who could possibly get upset over such preadolescent verbal nonsense? They learn from experience; which it is our parental job to teach them.
In my next life I am coming back as my kids; the've got it made.
Franklin I agree that it is very different when kids say it. Most of the time what they really mean is "I hate what you are making me do (or not do)" And most often it is mementary
And happily that is a far cry from an abusive parent saying it
Lady and Franklin, you are right. My daughter has already said, "I don't like you." I knew it was not true which is why I do wish my dad had not reacted so badly to what I said as an 8 year old to my sister in what I thought was the privacy of my room. I just hated I could not do what I wanted to do and he was the one stopping me! LOL. I just won't forget the power of the words........ lesson learned. And then when my brother said it to me.......man, he was 15, so I really hurt.
Many people fight in a way that they say, they fight to win, they fight dirty........
Sally Your father should have known better. His reaction wasn't really fair to you. I'm sorry you were so hurt by his reaction. But it sounds like in the long run it has helped you to be a more compassionate person
LL..............that and getting slapped in the face when I said to my mom in an elevator when a real midget walked in: "Hey Mommy, I am as big as her." Slaps hurt, too.
sally...yeah, the slaps hurt too. i got those too. hairbrushes, wooden spoons. the back of dad's hand so hard upside my head i saw stars.
great way to discipline a 4 year old :( i have never, and will never hit my own child. or say anything to her like what was said to me.
I?m reminded of a story I once heard:
A little boy had driven a bunch of nails into the backyard fence. When the father got home, he was very angry to see his fence with a bunch of nails in it. He chastised the boy. So, the boy removed all the nails and told his father he had undone the wrong. The father told his son that while he appreciated him removing the nails, now there were a bunch of holes in the fence where the nails had once been.
Moral of the story is; You can remove the nails (the hurtful things you say by apologizing) but in the place of the nails remain the wholes (the hurt feelings you caused).
There are those that say that any words posted on a discussion board should roll off one's back, just water off a duck's back. Those who subscribe to this line of thought feel this gives them license to say the most hateful and vitriolic words. When confronted, they laugh off rather dismissvely any suggestion of responsibility. In fact, I was told I was a "stupid idiot" for even daring to protest. Or maybe now I am a kiss up. I can't keep track of the negativity quite frankly.
Words DO hurt. Whether those words are spoken by a parent screaming at a child, an raging husband at his precious wife, or one discussion board to another. The sooner we all realize that what we say affects each other, the sooner we can begin to come together, instead of pushing each other apart.
But what do I know?
Agreed. Words are powerful. Wars have been started and stopped by words.
