You cannot UNSAY a cruel word

by simplesally 35 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dan-O

  Yeah, Sally. It's even tougher than getting toothpaste back in the tube after a good squeeze. We've probably all said some crappy things though in the heat of the moment ... things that we later looked back upon & thought "Ya know, I really should not have said that. That was wrong."

  I do try to consider the source before I get offended at what anyone says to me. Several months ago, our son told us "I HATE YOU! You're the worst parents on the planet!" And we've heard some similar sentiments over the years from our daughter. I think that's just part of parenting ... because sometimes you have to steer the kids thru uncomfortable territory or get them away from things that aren't good for them or give them the extra nudge towards taking responsibility ...

  But then there are also some good moments. After spending the night with her cousin's a few weeks ago, our 13 year old daughter said "I'm glad you're my parents. You actually listen to us. You don't tell us to shut up. You don't cuss at us. You actually respect us." And that felt pretty good.
• 

  bebu

  How about, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will break my heart."

  I've got one 13-year old who sometimes says, "I hate you!"... but I know he is just frustrated, and desperate for any way to change my stance.

  My 4-year old says, "WEAVE ME AWONE!!" ...It doesn't hurt as much now as it did the first time.

  Guess I'm rather thick-skinned as a parent.

  bebu
• 

  Sassy

  words can hurt and although we can forgive them, deep inside we lock them away if they cut deep enough. Then later when we are hurt again, it is like they bleed through our healings to remind us..

  sometimes even when we know that someone doesn't mean something, that deep inside they have other reasons for saying what they say..............it still hurts..

  hurt comes to mind when I think about an old once a friend JW who was so angry at me when I told her that I was stopping being a JW, that she threatened I should go slit my wrists or blow my head off... now I know deep inside that she was just angry angry angry at me and since it was out of her control to stop me from leaving, that maybe she could scare me out of leaving.. or even that she was so hurt, it was a lashing out because of her pain....

  or when my oldest son told me he wished that I would start smoking, get cancer and die.. I know his pain is very very deep.. even today.. I cried when he said it and I still think about his words (since our relationship is not yet healed), but deep inside I know if I were to do that very thing, he would be hurting..

  sometimes we have to remember to stop short our words (like always) but also we have to think about the source and if those words were really intended..
• 

  xenawarrior

  Big Tex said:

  But what do I know?

  A LOT !!
• 

  simplesally

  Bebu, Teryn has told me to leave her alone too...... she has already run into her room and slammed the door! (Truly, her father and I have no clue where she learned that since we were not of that sort)

  When my ex and I were together, she would spend sometimes more time with him because he was a)between jobs b)neglecting his job or c)it was the weekend ......... well, I sometimes have a show to do and that means lots of overtime for about 10 days in a row. Sooooo, she would not want me to change her clothes or help her...... NO Daddy do it! Oh it would hurt hurt hurt when I was working so hard to provide for both of them. I felt so unappreciated even though she had no concept of what she was doing......... it was just her dad had spent more time with her.
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  Celtic

  I'm not too good at putting a sock in it when I get annoyed but I am trying, sorry.