by Doubtfully Yours 45 Replies latest jw friends
Any childfree/childless here? Any particular reason for such decision?
I have health fears, so long ago I decided against having children. Sometimes I feel afraid of growing old alone and lonely, but lately I've realized that having children is no guarantee of any future situation. I've grown accustomed to my peace, quiet and reduced stress level of being childfree.
Working on owning a cat sometime soon. Your experiences please.
DY
Well, I am 33 in July and I have been married 3 years and we have not started a family yet. I am not ruling it out for the future, but the time has not been right up till now.
I married a fellow dubbie when I was 19, and I knew I did not want to have kids with him. I left him when I was 22, and I did not have a steady (18mths or longer) relationship until I met my husband to be when I was 26.
I did not want to have children until we were married - this is my personal feeling and no judgement on what anyone else would do. Since we married I have changed jobs roughly once a year. I don't feel it is fair on an employer to start a job and then within months go off on maternity leave for 9 months.
So that is why we have not have kids yet. If it does not happen naturally for us, it won't happen. I am clear in my mind that I will not be going down the route of fertility treatments.
DY
I've grown accustomed to my peace, quiet and reduced stress level of being childfree.
I envy you. BTW dogs make great companions.
xjw, who is always on the lookout for people who want to adopt my kids
Fe203Girl,
You've plenty of time girl! Look at that actress who at 47 had twins! If your health is good, you'll know when the time is right.
For the time being, I really enjoy my nieces and nephews.
DY
| I really dont want children. I've thought it over and over and I just have no desire to have any at all. As Jw-ish as this my sound, I think that the world is too screwed up to raise kids in. |
xjw_b12,
Maybe I'll envy you in the future when you're surrounded by the love of a family while I'll be in an institution. Who knows really.
Perhaps in the future I may look into adopting. I hear it's very expensive.
DY
Soledad, although I agree with your comment 100%, my decision was mostly based on my health. If I would've had 100% no doubts that I could bear a normal child, I often wonder if I would've taken the chance at raising a decent person.
DY
I have health fears, so long ago I decided against having children. Sometimes I feel afraid of growing old alone and lonely, but lately I've realized that having children is no guarantee of any future situation. I've grown accustomed to my peace, quiet and reduced stress level of being childfree.
A woman I worked for a few years back chose with her husband that they were not going to have children. It was a sore point for her that everyone assumed they couldn't, and the constant badgering with, "But you'd be such good parents". And they were a fun couple and I am sure they could have been great parents, but it was just a choice they decided was not right for them.
They also said the same thing...having kids is no guarantee that you will avoid being lonely. The only way you can avoid that is to have good friends and solid relationships with others. Breeding doesn't mean anything.
As of now, I am still young, I don't forsee children in my future. It's just not for me either. I just don't think I have the temperment for it to be a fulltime mom. I see my life playing out with and without children, I kind of feel like I would be happier without them. Of course this gets me labeled as self-ish and immature, but I think it just means I know who I am and that I don't need others...even little genetic like me others, to be happy.
! ! ALERT ! ! Summer 1990 district conventions Watchtower worldwide mandate.((( This is the same assembly day the Watchtower issued dire warnings not to watch the Simpson's T.V. show )))
ALERT ! ! DON'T HAVE KIDS ! ! ALERT ! ! The Watchtower repeals Almighty God's garden of Eden pro creation mandate.Anyone,besides me?, there to hear that WT$'s dire directive.
The 'proclamation' was,reiterated in the 'meat and potatoes' pages of the Watchtower magazine,that fall.What a hysteria that started...
I payed $400.00 dollars to pay for my younger brothers vasectomy,(i already had mine).The 'papal bull' directive alluded to our building of the 'spiritual ark of Noah',and how the adult builders[ Noah and his sons and daughters in law ] didn't board the boat with babies...So because Armageddon is 'just so close' we don't wanna be making babies.
They said the SAME thing when i was conceived in 1957.Hey, now i am a guy without maternal wants,but stop and think for a second how many mom wannabes,who where close to menopause,canceled that chance forever, because of some old fart holed up in the WT$ ivory tower,who had male 'mental PAUSE'.
I think whatever feels best for you is nobody else's business.
I imagine that it must get annoying to have people being critical (and bringing subtle and not-so-subtle pressure on you to pro-create) simply because you choose a life without children. (())
Of course this gets me labeled as self-ish and immature
That's sad. Don't worry, some of those who choose to be parents get labled in the same way.
