by logansrun 35 Replies latest jw friends
It sux, huh?
Sorry you had to face that.
I've found that the only way I can deal with it is to remind myself that they are in a cult, and stay on guard all the time I'm in their presence.
The relationship has thusfar broken completely down from what should be normal, yet I do my duty and keep in contact, from time to time.
We'll have some fun in Dallas, though, that'll make you forget your troubles - 6 days and counting - w00t!!!
Hey Brad,
"But she's my MOTHER -- someone I want approval from and who I otherwise admire."
I think you?re on to something with this statement. I also had a difficult time with my JW mother after I left. I was about twenty-five or so when I did leave (1979). I think that as long as you believe on some level the JW?s are right and you are wrong, you are going to have difficulties. You have to come to place where you realize (and on all levels) that they are wrong and you are right. It?s just that simple. When you get there, then you will come to the sad but very healthy understanding that you are wiser than your mom is. Yep, that?s right. You will realize that you have become the parent and she is now the child. Why do you need a child?s approval, right? This can be very challenging but you must come to embrace this headset. Once you do, it will be much easier to deal with her and her pious comments and attitudes, for they won?t really matter. When you know in your heart that she is wrong and has been deceived, then you will feel not anger towards her, but pity. It takes time, but you?ll get there.
BTW, I like you decision not to talk about anything JW with her. This is a great first step.
Good luck,
Steve
She repeatedly calls ex-JWs, "anti-Jehovahs Witnesses" and says we all have a "vendetta" and a "hatred" for the Truth
Amazing how JW's think they can read peoples minds. It's amazing to me now, when I was a dub I probably would have said the same thing and believed what I was spouting. Bug
Well Bradley your mother touched the unclean thing, she entered into our domain. Curosity has been peaked. Interesting she may even deep down have resentful feelings to others or the organization itself.
It would be nice if she could see that your happy as a non-witness. Parents don't get it. You tell them your happy and they think you have sunk to the depths of deprivation with exjws.
We are in their eyes tantamount to associating with the devil himself. Little do they understand that we are ordinary people seeking our freedom from the oppression of the WTS propaganda.
I am glad your mom did finally come around and is now being supportive of your trip to Dallas.
YOu go and have a wonderful time as I wish we would have another Apostofest in the Toronto area.
Well Bradley all the best and take care
All my love
Orangefatcat....
Logan returns home...Hi MOM!
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
My mother said that all ex-JWs do is log onto the internet and COMPLAIN about stupid little things -- "this elder hurt my feelings" -- or about looney sayings from CT Russel a hundred years ago.
that's odd, I used to say the same things just before I left the JWs for good.
There is hope for your mom logansrun.
Valis:
Excellent, you managed to find that costume for him.
Now we just need to get him blind drunk, a truss him up in it!!!
Logan, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Fear can make people behave so irrationally.
I agree with LT and others, don't let it spoil your good time. Come on down, kick back and have some fun.
{{{{Brad}}}}} I am sooo sorry that you had to go thru that. It hurts when our own family says awful things like that. I've had it done to me, too, and I'm sure alot on the board have been treated the same way. Actually, Brad, I think that the release this gave you is a good thing on certain levels. Anger repressed becomes depression. It needs to be expressed, and when it isn't, that's when explosions happen. Again, been thru it, so I know, and am only repeating what I've heard in therapy. So, guess what? You're healthy, and you're NOT perfect. I was relieved to read that you were still going to Dallas. That was so healthy for you to stick to your guns. Your mom sounds alot like mine, actually, she sees the hypocrisy, and say's it's the people, not Jehovah, who are to blame. IMO, you've just gained another few notches in your healing process!
Congratulations,
Terri
Gosh, I've gotta say a BIG "Thank you" to all of you. We may disagree on our current understanding of religion, science and politics, but it's times like this when all those differences get set aside. Really, I'm touched.
It's just been a really bad time lately. I don't know exactly why. It's been two years since I left (this week, actually) and I sometimes wonder if, quite subconsciously, I am re-experiencing the absolute hellish turmoil that took place that week.
Once again -- even though I can be a real pain in the ass -- thank you, thank you, thank you.
Bradley
