Does it bother you? The more I think about it---the angrier I get.
How Does It Feel Knowing That You Were Once A Member Of A Cult???
by minimus 45 Replies latest jw friends
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ohiocowboy
Yes, it definately still does have an impact on my life. I feel very little guilt anymore, but still I have not really 100% adjusted to the "World". It seems like I never will, as the Borg had such an impact on my life. I just plug away at life, doing the best that I am able, and often find myself wishing that I had never been a part of that Org. I think that I will never be completely "Deprogrammed", but over the years my depression has gotten a little better, and am able to deal with things that come up more rationally. Yes, being in that environment totally sucked butt, but am learning to make the best of a bad situation, and trying not to dwell on the past as much.
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DanTheMan
I feel really stupid that my personality and outlook at the time were sufficiently defective to make me what was probably one of the easiest recruits JW's ever recruited.
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blondie
I have been reading Steven Hassan's "Releasing the Bonds."
On page 321 under "Shame and Guilt" he says:
"Ex-members typically have strong feelings of shame and guilt. I felt "stupid" for getting involved with the cult, and at first didn't want people I met to know about my two years as a Moonie. I also felt guilty about all of the lies I told, and things I had done as a Moon leader, especially all of the people I had recruited. It was hard for me to face how much pain I had caused my family and friends.
Cult members need to be reassured that is perfectly normal to regret having participated in harmful behaviors, such as deception, and in unethical or illegal activities...They should also realize that it is common to mss aspects of cult life, whether it be friends still in the group, or the feeling of being involved in something "special." The desire to help people still in the group needs to be balanced with the need to get on with their own lives. It is imperative that ex-members develop a strong grounding withing themselves so that contact with cult members won't draw them back into the cult mindset."
Help can come from non-cult family members, friends, and ex-cult members. It's a great book and I know I will have to re-read again. Good suggestions from someone who knows what it was like to be in a cult and leave.
Blondie
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0967068800/104-0892231-3567930?v=glance
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seeitallclearlynow
I feel like "Oh well."
But that doesn't mean I'm insensitive to all the harm that has been done to so many people by that same cult.
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Vivamus
Ashamed, angry, guillty, gut-ripping-sorry. I need to learn to forgive myself for having been so stupid.
Blondie, thanx for that link, His book *combatting cult mind control* helped me to no end, I will order this one too.
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Blue Bubblegum Girl
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Steve Lowry
I think that I will never be completely "Deprogrammed"
Yes you will my friend. It just takes time.
I want to say this and keep saying it. ANYONE who can break free of the shackles of the Watchtower Society has by the mere fact that they could attempt such a feat, proven that they can continue to learn through life's challenges and that they have the wherewithal to reevaluate their map and make better choices. This is no small task. If you were a JW and you have been able to come out of it, you are a strong-minded person. Give yourself a little credit, will ya?
Steve
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Mulan
embarrassed that I ever allowed myself to be sucked into it................true, I was more or less born into it, but somewhere along the line it became my choice.
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minimus
These are such great encouraging comments!!!!
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Simon
Well, on the one hand it makes me angry but then I didn't have much choice as I was brought up in it. I can put a positive spin on things and say that even with the lifetime indoctrination I still saw through it all ... eventually !
Even more positive, I think it gives me the ability to protect my kids against something like this. If it is a choice between me having some bad life experiences or my kids having them ... well, I'll volunteer everytime.
