by jst2laws 69 Replies latest jw experiences
Neither anger or depression was visited upon me when I left the dubbies. I was so glad to not have to go to stupid boring meetings three times a week, I couldn't be happier. I was able to participate in sports, go out to dances and work part time while finishing high school. By the time I graduated I had lost any axieties about whether or not Jehover was gonna zap me. When you are 15 and your whole life is ahead of you, you don't have time for dwelling on what you "wasted" or "lost".
carmel
I would say that for the most part the worst of it is over for me. There are times though when some of the old anger comes back but that is usually triggered by situations that arise because some family (or ex-family) members are still in it and try to find ways to control those of us who have left (myself and both daughters and an uncle and his family). Some times it is easier to shrug off than others. I find the flip-flops in policy the harest. One time they are shunning you and the next they are talking. There doesn't seem to be much sense to some of it - OK a lot of it. The whole pedophile scandal triggered a lot of things that I hadn't addressed previously so that threw me for a loop too. But those are rare occasions and I get past them fairly quickly now
I guess I'm at the stage of recovery where it would seem a disservice towards people who have real recovery to do to call myself "in recovery".
Well I got through most of my issues before I actually left. It was a grieving process.
I occasionally get angry at some of the crass stupidity my family put me through, but after I simmer down I remind myself that it's a cult, and that they are gonna be inclined to do some unloving things occasionally. Anyhow, they haven't got the monopoly on that.
On even rarer occasions I get mad at the uncaring attitude sometimes exhibited by exJW's. It isn't alwys about cycles of grief. It sometimes appears to be sheer forgetfulness of what it was like.
To that end I'm glad that I remember...
I am what I am, and my life's experiences have contributed greatly to that (who'd a thunk it).
Hence, I have few regrets.
I dont subscribe to any specific religion, though I would happily promote a living relationship with Christ, as a stabilising agent in my life.
I'm getting on with life, continuing to grow, and am in a fairly contented place, right now.
Steve,
In my belief system, I'm resolved.
Yes, I have anger, but only to the degree which I choose to let myself be exposed to JW/exJW issues.
Lee and Six, among others, have made similar posts---perhaps one of the hardest things we can do is to really "let it go."
When it's over, it's over.
And that's a bit scary, in it's own right.
Angry.
I can't let it go yet. I might never be able to let it go unless The WT lets go of my kids.
When the whole family is out I'll let it go. In the mean time I'm the Watchtower's number one enemy.
I'll go to great lenghths to get rid of this godforsaken cult.
I see the fruits the WT has brought forth and am still experiencing its rottenness.
I wish they would back off and rot themself.
Someone once called them a pathetic sociopathological antisocial mind-controlling cult.
Wonder who said that. Couldn't agree more.
Andy of the superdisappointed in the "slave" class.
Andy, I hear ya.
There's a difference between "personal" resolution and "circumstantial" resolution. Most all of us have family, friends, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, still "in," and in that respect, we can't "escape" the consequences, and needs, and moral obligations.
What I was trying to say (in my own lame way) is that what we...you and I, personally, can be resolved, within ourselves. From thence comes the clarity.
Craig
Recovery in the fullest sense to me, would be applied only to those who are not rejected by close family. These ones need only to re-build themselves and can control it doing so.
In a lesser sense, ones who DO have close family who shun them, can never fully recover because they cannot control that aspect of their lives........others must change this. You can gain your independence, but not the independence of others whom you long for.
Gumby
Me? Angry angry angry at what they did to me and mine
BUT !
You have to let the anger go !
If I let myself dwell on this and tried to make "revenge" the focus of my life I would not hurt them but would hurt myself (more) and my family.
So, I can recommend trying to do something positive and trying to help others really does help yourself.
There is no shame in opening up to people which is sometimes difficult and saying "I know this sounds daft but I realy find [whatever] really difficult". A few online shoulders and listening ears (on IM) really can help and build up friendships.
Meet other people too - go to apostafests and meetups, but go to meet the people and make friends, not just to bitch about JW issues. Eventually, you find that you only mention the WTS to make a joke and the friends you make are friends and not just people with a shared background (even though that is how you met).
we...you and I, personally, can be resolved, within ourselves
From that point of view I think am resolved. No power over me, just as you mentioned; circumstancial.
They have my kids in their power; this sociopath trying to infiltrate in my life. damn.
But like Simon says:
Meet other people too - go to apostafests and meetups, but go to meet the people and make friends
Sounds great! Hey you guys we're invited.
lol...............Andy
