The next time an invitation is extended, say "we are available from 5 until 9 (or whatever), if this suits your plan we would love to accept". Then everyone knows in advance what to expect.
Then stick to it.
Nina
A Question Of Manners.
by Englishman 32 Replies latest social relationships
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little witch
NINA,
A guest invited to a function should state in advance their departure time? To accomadate an anal retentive host (ess)?
I don't think so.....Something is amiss with the host, not the guest.
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zev
when i had dubbuales over stay their visits, i'd treat it honourably. i'd go to bed.
when they heard my snoring, they got the hint.
go home!
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FlyingHighNow
When you get the invitation, tell them you would love to join them for barbeque. Also tell them that you will have to leave at such and such time though because you always close the night out at the pub. It's an important ritual with you, going to the pub.
You can always innvite them to go to the pub with you, too.
There is nothing wrong or ill-mannered about telling them you will join them but only until 7PM or whenever it is you want to leave. If they whine about it then excuse yourself and tell them that they might want to invite someone in your place who can stay longer.
Above all be flattered that they enjoy your company so much. You must be a lot of fun.
Flyin'
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Corvin
I agree with you Englishman. I recently went to a BBQ and was really quite ready to leave after 4 hours. Sometimes it depends on the company, too.
Corvin
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bikerchic
I would say go home or to the pub whenever you want and they need not know where you are going when you leave.....sheese! Once again I see Flyin' has some very good suggestions.
But now I'm mad cuz reading this thread made me hungry! Note to self avoid food threads while dieting!
Kate
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GermanXJW
Englishman, since everyone is on your side, I play the Devils advocat. I can imagine that someone feels strange when his guests say: "Okay, now we are leaving to have a drink at the pub." I think it could make me feel that I did not offer enough drinks.
Just my 2 cents. -
reboot
I had a friend over for lunch today...she left by 6 and I was pleased really as I had all the school stuff to get ready, ironing for the week and a painting to finish...but then she's busy too.....
Sometimes I have to get tactical...one couple always leave at 2am when ever they start, evey time they come........so I invite them late and dont invite them unless i'm ready for a long session...
I was always brought up with the rule that the guests decide when the evening finishes....and all my friends are the same......if they got annoyed with me for leaving I don't know if i'd go again...
I've never been asked to leave or had anyone get annoyed if I go early...perhaps they wer'nt brought up properly. Eman lol ..
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hillary_step
E'man,
This is the perspective of an anti-social who would seriously weigh up whether a visit from Jesus Of Nazareth was really worth giving up a good book for. ( Please excuse agnostic pleasantry )
Mike, I think what you are battling is the sense of possessiveness that some people adopt when they view a friendship as being deeper than it actually is. A sure fire way of dealing with this is to pretend to forget their names every so often. Having said that if you drank at my place and then went on to drink somewhere else and drive there, I would worry enough to call you and make sure that you arrived home safely.
When I was single, I used to drop my keys on the table when I was ready to retire ( after approximately twenty minutes of anybody's company ) and tell my guests to lock up on their way out. When I married I found it much more convenient to leave my wife, who is a gregarious soul, to lock up. This method still leaves people with the impression that you are not a crusty old trout, even if you are. Either way there comes a time in the evening when things lull and most normal people would get the hint and bugger off, unfortunately most people do not.
One day I will try Furry Lewis method of clearing the room, as Joni Mitchell wrote after visiting him, "...he points a boney finger at you and says...I don't like you".
Best regards - HS
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moonwillow
It doesn't sound like their very good friends to have if they are trying to control what you do!