Disturbing phone call yesterday....

codeblue

I would have posted this yesterday but for some reason it was unavailable.

I called one of my JW sisters, my turn to call.

A couple of months ago we all got together...hadn't seen any of them in 5 years.

Well...she met my hubby and she said what he said was bothering her...I said: Oh, I wasn't in the conversation what was it that bothered her....(my first mistake) Seems like he brought up the UN letter and something about what the real good news is.

She then started her Hitler/Nazi questions saying she is CONCERNED about my spirituality......

I told her I have a relationship with Jehovah and that is what matters...Didn't stop her...I also told her I am a big girl and have taken care of my spirituality since I married the first time and left home.

I got off the subject by calling after my dog...and I was shaking the whole afternoon.

Ya all know I am fading....geez...I wasn't prepared for this conversation...I am debating on telling her if she wants to continue a relationship with me then she needs to respect MY spirituality and not question it...according to Romans 14 where it says: Each one has an accounting before God. (no one else does)

While I was married to husband #1 she NEVER wanted to hear anything negative...so I had NO support during that time and during my divorce as well.

She mentions she is concerned about my spirituality cause I don't talk about meetings or field service. I would like to reinforce the fact that she doesn't like NEGATIVE conversations, remind her of my marriage and divorce and after my divorce when I wanted to have an EAR to listen to me, but she didn't...so since she set the rules of NO negative comments that is why I chose NOT to talk about meetings or field service because they are NEGATIVE>

I have abided by her RULES so I want her to abide by my rule of NOT questioning MY Spirituality...It was totally unloving of her to do that.

any thoughts????

Or...should I not mention anything...and IF she calls me back be selective IF I want to answer the phone. At this point I feel she is a toxic person....she left me feeling worthless.

Codeblue

frenchbabyface

I have abided by her RULES so I want her to abide by my rule of NOT questioning MY Spirituality...It was totally unloving of her to do that.

any thoughts????

No thoughs hon ... I'm just sorry that she is not able to realise

Or...should I not mention anything...and IF she calls me back be selective IF I want to answer the phone. At this point I feel she is a toxic person....she left me feeling worthless.

You are not ... Why ? ... (her job is worthless)

Golf

Does she take Biblical advice? 1Thess. 4:11 "...make it your aim to live quietly and to mind your own business..."

I'll let you do the rest.

Guest 77

mouthy

"I am debating on telling her if she wants to continue a relationship with me then she needs to respect my spirituality"

I wouldnt do that love.Try to keep the bonds of family open....Leave it be!!!! Let your LOVE shine through" LOVE NEVER FAILS"

Remember she has been snapped up by a wolf......If she was being dragged of by a wild dog & you were there ...you would do all in your power to santch her back. Let it be an invisable SNATCHING with the LOVE TRAP

Just my opinion

ApagaLaLuz

Ahhhh Code!! You rock hun!! And Husband..... whichever number he is :), rocks too. Spiritualiy is an incredibly PERSONAL thing, and it's NO ONE else's place to question someone's spirituality. You know that! You shouldnt have to play by her rules. ANd next time she tries to make you doubt your own spirituality you should politely remind her of this.

*muah*

blondie

Codeblue, it is so hard to give advice. Only you know how toxic your relationship is. I know how hard it was to finally admit that no contact is better than bad contact, especially if when some ground rules were laid down and she won't abide by them. That is why I no longer have contact with my mother. It has been wonderful and my husband doesn't miss her either and her negative, nosy talk.

What can you stand; is what you gain from the association worth the negativity?

Blondie

BluesBrother

Yes , I recognize the pattern . ex friends within the movement soon stop e mailing as soon as i say anything about not being "active" anymore. Thats all .I never get as far as openly debating the beliefs because they drop me like a hot brick.

I believe they are scared. afraid to listen to what may be a disturbing question. Their "Comfort zone" of a regular routine just does not allow it.

They certainly dont care about my "welfare" or they would come around and try to reason with me. Family will try and talk encouragingly but just lapse into plattitudes if I say anything questioining their faith

Truth is , they cant handle it.

bebu

(((((Codeblue)))))

so since she set the rules of NO negative comments that is why I chose NOT to talk about meetings or field service because they are NEGATIVE

Does she really understand that this is how you see it? Maybe it might need to come out.

I'm sorry that she is able to influence you so negatively.

If you ever discuss the UN issue again, why don't you tell her that a non-JW brought it up (I'm non-JW ) and you wonder how her response would be. It's NOT only the "apostates" who know about this issue, remember. Lots of non-dubs do research about the JWs online, and find out this dirty little secret. Whatever she responds, you can say, "Yeah, I said that too, but then it was pointed out that..." Teach her something, if you can... it might help her get dislodged... Everyone starts somewhere. (Just a suggestion, of course.)

bebu

Sassy

well we talked at length over IM about this... so I won't repeat myself..

but.. just know that I am here for ya.. and understand

Crooked Lumpy Vessel

There are many who are putting themselves on high and putting others around them down. If Jehovah didnt want me to think for myself then he would not have provided me with a brain.

I love that scripture at Romans 14. Futher it reads at 14:10...

But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you also look down on your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11

for it is written: "‘As I live,’ says Jehovah, ‘to me every knee will bend down, and every tongue will make open acknowledgment to God.’" 12 So, then, each of us will render an account for himself to God.

13

Therefore let us not be judging one another any longer, but rather make this YOUR decision, not to put before a brother a stumbling block or a cause for tripping. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is defiled in itself; only where a man considers something to be defiled, to him it is defiled.

I cant tell you how many times I had a pioneer sister in my business. When I got a job with the Coast Guard as an IT administrator (she had a society printout waiting), when I had my IVF (she had a printout again). I have a stack of printouts. I never understood why my business was her business. My bio sister got her nose pierced and no one talks to her anymore. We had a brother who studied in prison and was baptized. When he got out and started going to the hall, a pioneer sister said, "he is only coming here to find a virgin". Well, as everything always gets around, he left the congregation. She said, "See, I told you so". The above scripture helped me to understand that God can provide us with instruction but not everyone is willing to apply it.

I would keep that scripture open when you talk to that sister again and read it to her. I always felt if a sister was as so bold to point her view at me then I now had every right in the world to point it right back at her and hold my dignity and love in tact. You may want to point out to her that by her pre-judging you and your husband that she is putting a stumbling block in front of you.

I know this sister who is so concerned about my bio sister's spirituality. She always asked me, "how's your sister doing? Is she still going to school? Did she make the convention?" Then she would go back in her car group and pass the info along to the other gossip mongers. Now I just tell her to give my sister a call and ask her herself. (in a nice way) Its been over a year and my bio sister has still not received one phone call.

Disturbing phone call yesterday....

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