by codeblue 38 Replies latest jw experiences
The Verbal Art of self-defence was one of the first recovery books I read. There are now a series of them.
I definitely like and use the flip whenever needed. I find that when I use it I feel much more in control of myself and am less likely to walk away feeling like I was walked all over.
(((((Codeblue))))). I'm sorry, I know how hard this sort of thing can get, my big brother is still a witness.
I totally agree with what Mouthy said earlier-try to catch your sister in a love trap. I mean, when you think about it, she is as much a victim of that cult as any of us have been. When you're in the middle of it, it all looks so reasonable, then when you get out, it's hard to believe the garbage we all willingly ingested. Your sister is trying to save your soul in the only way she knows how, so try not to be too hard on her.
Maybe, with time, you can help her find her way out of this mess, so in the meantime, try not to lose your relationship with her completely. Hang in there, kiddo.
Sorry CB.......... it's hard to think when we are caught off guard. Next time, though, you won't be. You now know that this subject could come up again. But I would also ask NoDenial to not discuss things like that with your family because things could get outta control and you might land in a JC meeting or just shunned for being bad association.
Suzy Elgin Haden has quite a few good books on the art of communication.
Mouthy,
"I am debating on telling her if she wants to continue a relationship with me then she needs to respect my spirituality"I wouldnt do that love.Try to keep the bonds of family open....Leave it be!!!! Let your LOVE shine through" LOVE NEVER FAILS"
Remember she has been snapped up by a wolf......If she was being dragged of by a wild dog & you were there ...you would do all in your power to santch her back. Let it be an invisable SNATCHING with the LOVE TRAP
You have earned the title of 'everyone's grandma' by comments like this.
Codeblue,
You are getting some good advise here. Take your time in formulating a reaction.
Jst2laws
CB
Love is a two way street. If she cares about you, really cares about the inner person, she will (despite JW mind control) accept you for who and what you are. But actions speak louder than words, so look at how she's behaved toward you all these years. I say you throw it out there and if she shuns you so be it. Better a little pain now than a lot of pain later.
I believe in a God who cares for the inner person, who we are on the inside. And in so believing that, I must also believe that he wants nothing more than for us to become the person we are supposed to be. You are a good, kind person. Listen to your heart, and you won't go wrong.
Thanks Jst2laws and Big Tex:
thanks for your comments...I think I have blown it, I called her back tonight....She hung up on me..she claimes she was there for me before and after my divorce, but she never wanted to discuss any negatives...I reminded her of that...she also said she talked calmy to me yesterday:..I said: you weren't on the other end of the phone call....
I called back and got her answering machine and told her when she read Romans chapter 14 I would be willing to discuss it with her.
Ce le vie.
Codeblue, I'm sorry it didn't go well this time, but I see you are keeping the door open. Sometimes the problem is not the JW/not JW thing but family issues that have never been resolved just ignored in families. You will be in my thoughts.
Blondie
thanks Blondie...but I don't know if leaving a message is resolving the issue, at least I gave her a scripture to consider on the answering machine!!!....
at this point in time...I wish for a tropical island to live on with no access from any family to visit me or contact me.
feeling down and out...
CodeBlue
Well, you have a big plus, Codeblue.....
NODenial
Having your hubby on your side helps a great deal. Sometimes we have to unhook emotionally from family members and realize that is more than genetics that makes us close. Finding "new family" that deal with you in a healthy way will be a big help too.
We are making our way down that path, Irrev and me. He has some friends from his non-JW days that he views as brothers. I tend to be a little more reserved, but I am getting involved with my literacy student and SNAP and Linkup (groups fighting religous sexual abuse).
I have tried and tried with my family but I have finally accepted they are dangerous to me. My counselor agrees. That book/author Gary recommended are very good. I read them during the time I was still trying.
Blondie
