Disturbing phone call yesterday....

by codeblue 38 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  codeblue

  Sassy I know and I appreciate our chat...

  it is just one of those things that really has hit me hard...

  I want to thank all of you that have taken the time to respond to this thread.

  I think it is because NOdenial has been out of town to long...had he been here yesterday, I would have handed him the phone the minute she said "your husband said some things that bothered me"....I didn't say the things he said, I wasn't even in on the conversation.

  I am seeing a side of her that I never saw before....I was shocked to see how unloving she is...
• 

  mouthy

  No Code she is NOT really UNloving you.She is TOLD that to love you is being unkind

  UNLESS you get into the net. She thinks she is "fishing" forgive her she knows not what she is doing....
• 

  mustang

  I'll add my favorite scripture for this occasion. I used this one to shut my father's mouth on his very obtrusive interference in my life. This one may be heavier than you need, but it depends on how you apply it. I would just let it speak for itself:

  1 Peter 4:15

  "But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters."

  (BTW, on the TOTALLY SUBTLE side, this has the potential for a contradiction in the Bible. How so?? Cain said basically the same thing when God asked him where his brother was: "Am I my brother's keeper"? Now the apostle is advising us to mind our own business )

  Mustang
• 

  garybuss

  Code, Learn to do a flip. Books like the verbal art of self defense help some people learn it. Also good for me was Instant Rapport.
  
  Basically with a flip, I talk about what was said and not what is being talked about. Do you understand the difference?
  
  My sister says she is worried about my religious behavior. Instead of letting her control the conversation, I take control of it. I ask her how long has she had this worrying problem and I explain to her that worry is just fear and I ask her if she has ever explored the root cause of her fears. I can take any word in any sentence said by any person and flip it on them and take complete control of the conversation.
  
  The basis for verbal combat used to be taught in the Service Meetings in the 50's and 60's. Not sure if it is still taught or not.
  
  It's necessary to practice and practice. It's very frustrating to be on the receiving end of linguistic combat, so be careful who you practice on:-) It might be like sex, might need a willing partner:-) GaryB
  
  
  
  
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  ApagaLaLuz

  Gary and his damn reverse psychology
• 

  Puternut

  Codeblue,

  I haven't had a chance to talk to you about this yet. But it looks like they are trying really hard. But don't loose hope over this? You have made a decision, and it's yours only. I don't always have the 'ready' answers either. but then later when I think about it without confrontation, I have a chance to regroup, and rethink what was said. So give it a little time.........? It's hard for outsiders to see what we have gone through. If you look at it from that perspective, you can only feel sorry for them.

  Puternut

  (I'll see ya on chat?)
• 

  Special K

  Gee wil-i-kers Gary Buss

  If I wasn't happily married I'd be chasing after you.

  I have gleaned much wisdom from your posts.

  so the two books you refer to were

  "The Verbal Art of Self Defense"

  and

  "Instant Rapport".

  I must go take a look on Amazon.com and check them out.

  sincerely

  Special K
• 

  codeblue

  actually...I enjoyed his reverse psychology...lol....
• 

  frenchbabyface

  Garybuss : very interesting !
• 

  garybuss

  "The Verbal Art of Self Defense"

  and "Instant Rapport".

  Yes!

  The next step after learning the basics is laid out in the book,
  Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion
  
  Then the graduate course is hypnotism and then NLP.
  
  There are ethics and disclosures involved for me in using NLP. I use instant rapport every day.
  
  There is a lot written on the subject of linguistics and the gentle manipulation of conversation. Most sales courses are based on some of the elements but I have never seen the tactics disclosed and taught as tactics. I think the providers of education would be doing the students a big favor by disclosing the dynamics of the tactics and let the student improve and improvise.
  
  Selling is based on the principle of willing compliance. This is what the Watch Tower Publishing Corporation relies on for it's sales as well as for it's volunteer sales, construction, and property management workers. Commerce does not have the advantage of coercing voluntary compliance like the Watch Tower Publishing Corporation does. Commerce relies on real incentives and real and imagined benefits.
  
  In sales the top producers are masters of the close. A close is valuable in a conversation too, especially if it is a confrontational conversation like with a Witness poking and probing. I would ask my Witness sister, Would you like to know how I manage my fear so I don't drop off into worry? If she says no, I would make the no my topic and ask her why why would not like to know how I do something healthy. If she says yes, I could say, Good! That will give us something positive to talk about next week when I call you back. :-)
  
  
  GaryB