I'm extremely grateful to everyone who has had me in their prayers, contributed to posts here and will be taking part in the global prayers/healing session arranged by Mulan.
I have to confess that my delight at feeling well last week was short lived yesterday. I was in discomfort in the morning and this increased during the day. I drove to the Buddhist meeting last night because I wanted to be amongst friends and the aura of the house where the group meets has a really wonderful feel about it. There is a presence there, especially in the upstairs shrine room, of those spiritual people who have passed over, including two monks who lived in the house and other monks who visited it during their lifetime.
While sitting in a comfy chair listening to the talking last night, which was very encouraging, I started to feel a lot of discomfort bordering on pain. I sat through it and, suddenly, for a good 5 minutes I felt a wonderful feeling of peace come over me. I said nothing, but just sat there experiencing it. Shortly afterwards the "chairman" of the meeting invited me into a backroom and performed Reiki on me (he's a Reiki master). I've been invited to his house to receive more healing - this time 'musical healing'. Ron, the man in question, is not only accomplished at Zen meditation, but he's also a musician who uses music for healing. I'm looking forward to it.
Afterwards, back in the main room, I felt better for a while, but then the aching came back. I was feeling extremely tired so took my leave and drove back home. On getting in, I just sat down and felt pretty awful. Claire started to massage the area of discomfort and I picked up. As I write this (Wednesday morning at 8.50) I am still in some discomfort. I'm telephoning the homeopath later today as I know I won't be able to tolerate too many days of such discomfort - which makes me feel drained.
I know that my true self is locked inside this diseased body of mine, it's release coming with my death. Last night, especially when my chest was aching, I actually wondered if I was going to pass away in the middle of a Buddhist meeting - which would have been a wonderful thing -except I quickly realised my beloved Claire and sons were back home. I decided last night wasn't the time and the chest aches disappeared. Besides, I want to receive your healings.
At this moment in time, if death comes, I really don't mind. However, that's not to say I'm not fighting to stay alive. I have sooooooo much to live for and so much to complete. I have my lovely Claire and sons to think of, too. And, of course, I should like to see my two daughters leave Watchtower before I die - but that is up to them and does not affect what I am trying to accomplish now.
I no not know how close I am to my final journey in this life but I'm feeling ok about it. All of us here are interconnected and I'm sure we will be in one another's company in future lives, though our memories of this one might well be forgotten. Our mutual karma has brought ourselves together and I'd like to thank you all again for helping make my present moments more acceptable.
I DO intend to beat this disease but am also realistic enough to know that not all battles are won. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean I shan't be victorious, for I have yet to go over to the "other side" where my karma will determine my next birth - if at all.
It's been pouring down with rain here in Britain for the past week or so and is the wettest August on record. There has been some terrible flooding and my heart goes out to all those affected. Others, well, they continually complain about all the rain and how miserable it all is. I never see it that way. I love all the seasons, though it must be said global warming is a definite reality and is affecting the climate. I'm just glad to be alive and able to enjoy all that nature has to offer.
Love and peace to you all,
Ian
