Jealousy (page 3)

RandomTask

More frequent intimate contact seems to help jealousy issues a little.

ApagaLaLuz

More frequent intimate contact seems to help jealousy issues a little

Ya' think?! I think THAT's my problem

If I may be so bold as to say it though, I have noticed with my own situation that the level of jealousy seems to rise with the amount of time since the last "intimate encounter". You need to beat your man into submission!!

ApagaLaLuz

Well!! I do say, RT you have cured me Sir. I didnt even have to blow the $300 I had saved up for the therapy I thought I needed :)

copsec

I used to be extremely jealous (hmm, wonder if that was cause my ex cheated on me left and right) LOL! But the guy I am married to now, I just drove him nuts at first with my jealousy. Then I sat back and took a long look at things and decided I could nag him, follow him, demand him to let me go places with him and piss him off or I could just let him go. After all, if someone wants to cheat they will find a way. So, I let him be him and it's worked pretty well and I am not all that jealous anymore. Still have my moments once in awhile but not as bad. As I sit typing this my hubby is at a bar he goes to for lunch every day with the guys he works with judging a titty contest!

FlyingHighNow

For you men who have problems with your wife or girlfriends having had previous partners(women can benefit here as well), here is something to think about:

I had two husbands, not at the same time, who were very jealous and tried their best to make me feel ashamed of myself for having had former loves. This affected my exes in a bad way. It affected my self esteem in a bad way. It also affected our relationship in every way including the physical part.

My current four year relationship? He finds any history I have with men exciting to think about. He embraces it and celebrates that history. The result? I no longer feel shame, regret or guilt about ANYTHING I have done. I am proud of me, my history and my sexuality. I enjoy the physical part and intimate part of our relationship a million(<.......no exaggeration) times more than I ever dreamed possible.

So here there is another way to look at the past loves of your mate. Why feel bad about them or try to make your mate feel negatively about past loves or even their current selves? It can actually be exciting to think about past loves if you just look at matters differently.

As for current jealousy? Just do everything you can to have a good relationship emotionally, intellectually and physically. Realize, too that when someone strays, even it is only in thought, it often times has nothing to do with your inadequacies. Many times a wondering eye has to do with wanting to escape some type of stress. They might even blame you, use you as a scapegoat when it really has nothing to do with you.

It's better to trust as much as you can, for your own peace of mind. Unless your mate gives you good reason to be suspicious, nip your jealous feelings in the bud. You'll be more happy. You'll have more energy to cultivate and care for your relationship and so your mate will be happier, too.

Flyin'

RandomTask

Well don't go doing anything ILLEGAL Chevys...

Stefanie

My current four year relationship? He finds any history I have with men exciting to think about. He embraces it and celebrates that history. The result? I no longer feel shame, regret or guilt about ANYTHING I have done. I am proud of me, my history and my sexuality. I enjoy the physical part and intimate part of our relationship a million(<.......no exaggeration) times more than I ever dreamed possible.

You are lucky.

Billygoat

I'm jealous only when my self-esteem is low or the relationship is under some type of severe pressure. Since meeting Neil, only once have I been jealous...when his exgf was calling almost everyday RIGHT before we got married. Although Neil never had bad intentions (he never called her), I did not trust her. Unfortunately, I took it out on him. I told him that I was not comfortable with him being so chummy with her and I would feel better if he kept his contact with her very limited or not at all. I asked him how he would feel if he was in my position and MY ex was calling all the time. He agreed he wouldn't handle it very well. We haven't heard from her since.

Good communication about personal feelings (and not blaming or accusing) is typically a salve to both souls.

gespro

Way to go Billygoat!

gespro -the overly possessive traumaitized amazing smoking baboon

Jealousy

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