Sometimes I Hate Being The Father Of Teenagers . . .

by Corvin 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    Yeah, Ozzy seems pretty tame now. () compared to some of the rap that promotes rape, murder and drugs, hatred.. But u know, the stuff i opposed my kids on in the late 80-90, i'm listening to now. lol.

    I like your system, just nothing negative. Sounds like a pretty good system.

  • IronGland
    IronGland
    I like your system, just nothing negative. Sounds like a pretty good system.

    Only if everyone agrees what is 'negative'.

  • Special K
    Special K

    Yes some teenagers and their music can be quite a challenge.

    I remember last summer having my two older teenage sons working in the back yard piling firewood. They had one of their friends come over and help. They set up a boom box outside and the music that I certainly can't even stand the tune too was blasting away.

    I just kept all the windows closed on the back of the house. After a bit I went over to my neighbours and had a cup of tea with her while the three teenagers kept working away listening and boppin to their music.

    How nice, you might say. Whistle while we work. la la la la la

    Anyways, I sat down at my neighbours in their living room and I could hear this music bellowing away from my house ..and I thought . "Oh my God!" the song was blaring away with f this and f that and f you and f me.. I was dumbfounded. I didn't know that was what they were playing.

    Eminmen... The neighbours kid brought it over. I wasn't long marching back across to my house and having that turned off and reemed them all out about what I could hear drinking a cup a tea at my neightbours house. I told their friend, you can bring music but don't ever bring music here to play that is filled with that kind of talk. He thought he was being a smartass..

    ...

    We all like Amanda Marshall here at our house. she had a great new C.D. and then she had this one great song and she sticks the F word in it. I could see no real value to why she did that.

    I think the F word has it's place sometimes and that occasionally it is the only good word I can think of "under my breath" that clearly describes a situation.. but I don't think people need to go around singing it.

    sincerely

    Special K

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I think it all depends on how THEY feel about the lyrics. When I was younger and rebellious, I listened to Maestro Fresh-Wes, Cypress Hill, Snoop Doggy Dogg, House Of Pain, 2 Live Crue. I thought the lyrics were funny!

    She want the ***** with the biggest nuts
    And guess what?
    He is I and I am him

    Yeah, sure Snoop. Let me take a look, LOL!

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    It's funny.........I now have music in my home that I would never have let my children have when I was raising them under "JW" rules.. and even now without those rules, I know there is some music in my collection that may not be so great for kids... My kids are no longer minors, so even if and when they are involved in my life again, I probably won't have a reason to talk to them about enforcing a rule about music. Not sure what I would do now if I had to, to be honest.

  • copsec
    copsec

    Rap music is not allowed in my house. I don't care if the artist is black or white, it is not allowed. I want my daughter coming home and saying "hi, how was your day" not stuff like "yo dog, whas up!" I do not approve of improper English and rap is full of it.

  • BeautifulGarbage
    BeautifulGarbage
    Only if everyone agrees what is 'negative'

    I'm the one that decides what is acceptable in my home. I couldn't care less if my kids "agree" with me. When they are footin' the bill they can listen to whatever their hearts desire.

    Now, if you meant that everyone is of the same mind what is "negative", well, good luck with that one. We are talking teenagers here. I don't think I have to say "well, this word is ok, and this one isn't". It's the context and the message that is sent. That, sometimes, has to be decided on a case by case basis. So, my teenager best not plunk down her dough on a CD if she believes that I just might find it offensive. It would be better to get the OK from me before buying.

  • Euphemism
    Euphemism

    Corvin, I don't doubt that you're an excellent father, but with all due respect, "negative" emotions have their place.

    Speaking as a person who enjoys quality music of all genres, from classical to rap metal, I feel strongly that moods create music, not the other way around.

    When I listen to music that is angry or violent, it is because I am feeling angry or violent, and the music is a good way to release those emotions. If I'm not feeling angry, then angry music grates on me; I don't want to listen to it. On the other hand, if I am feeling angry, then listening to angry music is a productive and healthy way of dealing with the emotion.

    Especially when we're talking about teengaers, who often have mood swings or other emotions for various reasons they may not even be able to explain, I think it's important to let them listen to the music of their choice, and address their emotions that way.

  • SusanHere
    SusanHere

    Corvin,

    Way to go, Dad!! Raising teenagers is really great/really rewarding/really sucky/totally sucky/makes you want to hug them/makes you want to throw them out the window/etc.

    I raised six. They all loved me, most of the time, liked me some of the time, and hated me far more often than any of them now want to admit. It's tough being a parent, and even tougher being a GOOD parent in today's world where values and standards are so often upside down.

    Sounds to me like you are putting the wellbeing of your children first, and bless you for it. Stick to your guns. Your children will thank you when they are grown.

    Susan

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    Check out a band called AFI. Similar, but perhaps a little more palatable?

    Yeah Avi, my kids like that band, and I even like them too. I like alot of the stuff they listen to. Music comes full circle and is derived from older stuff. I am open to all music, but have my taste rooted structured music that breaths . . . music that allows me and my mind to breath.

    Eliciting negative emotions" is pretty subjective. My great grandparents probably thought the Beatles elicited negative emotion. Havn't you ever had the experience of angry music eliciting a positive emotion because it was cathartic? Of course it is your home. Couldn't you have maybe let her sell it at the used music store so it wasn't a total loss? . . . Only if everyone agrees what is 'negative'.

    Negative emotions, objectively speaking, are there to tell us that we need to take a posative action. Understanding your emotions, negative and posative is always a good thing. I won't get into the psycology too deeply, but feeding those negative emotions with any type of medium that allows you to stay in and wallow in that negative place is never a good thing. I'm no prude, but I draw the line . . . and so do you, pal. She knew the rule and standard before she spent her hard-earned dollar on that garbage. Bringing it into the house was the deal-breaker. Songs with sexual innuendo and passion are one thing, but songs that talk about hate and lashing out is just crap . . . not how I am teaching my kids to deal with life and other people, and you seem to forget that kids read alot more into music than we adults do and they are affected on a different level than we . . . if you didn't already know it, then you should consider it. When emotionally immature kids hear music, they think it was written for and about them, and they make an unrealistic connection with it. Alot of commercial artists know this and play to that kids emotional immaturity and unstable states of heart and mind to make a buck and they don't give a damn what message they are sending to the kids listening to it.

    Hogy van, Pope?

    It was true in '63 and its still true today!

    Yeah, I see the point my dear Magyar amigo, however, angry static is still angry static and as for Dillon; nem az a fajta ember, aki gondosan figyel vmire . . . o volt ollozo, no?

    but with all due respect, "negative" emotions have their place.

    Speaking as a person who enjoys quality music of all genres, from classical to rap metal, I feel strongly that moods create music, not the other way around.

    Yes, negative emotions do have their place, but need not be fed or made to linger more than neccessary. Yes, music is often derived from the mood or mentality of the composer, but who is to say that the composer is mentally or emotionally healthy? Negative music reaches the heart of those predisposed to feel those negative emotions on a more frequent basis. These aren't your kids, you don't know them, I do. Garbage is still garbage and I don't think my kids need a steady diet of it. There is enough crap in this world to disturb the peace and balance in the minds of our children and it is my job to keep as much of it out of their heads as I can.

    To all, thanks for your comments.

    Corvin

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