Invitation To Americans To Find Fault With The British..

by Englishman 145 Replies latest jw friends

  • Crazy151drinker
    Crazy151drinker

    1) They dont know how to make a hamburger

    2) they wore stupid red coats in battle for hundreds of years

    3) The Royals always seem to hook up with ugly chicks (Lady Di the exception) when they could be poking some hotties

    4) They drive the wrong way

    5) The French convinced them to build little tiny shit cars

    6) Gas is too expensive and they call it Petrol!

    7) The pronounce Aluminum wrong

    8) They have Football confused with Soccer

    9) They wont put American presidents on their money

    10) They dont like guns

    Too be fair though, Soccer holigans kick ass

  • ApagaLaLuz
    ApagaLaLuz
    Chevys, to be fair, I've found that most of the US doesn't have good Mexican food either.

    Suppose you're right there. Guess I'm just blessed to live just 2 hours from Mexico. I get to have the best damned Mexican food whenever I choose. In defense of the UK though, and their lovely Indian friends, I've never had a curry quite like the curry in Britain.

  • Crazy151drinker
    Crazy151drinker

    11) The last war they started was over the worthless Falkland Islands. Invade a real country next time!

    12) They havnt invaded France in over 50 years and the last time didnt count becuase they were invited. Maybe they can take over Quebec for Starters.

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    Love_Truth

    ENGland... ENGlish... America... ENGlish...

    The above collection of words and three-point elipses should clarify the situation rega5rding shose accent is 'funny', I know it's complicated but I hope the above helps.

    Oh, we don't have a King, and I regret that you seem equally ill-informed on other matters regarding a Constitutional Monarchy, but let's sort out the linguistic errors first, eh?

    myauntfanny

    Innit? Yeah! Oh, and I find the fact a 'bum bag' is called a 'fanny pack' one of the more diverting lingustic differences... the mental images both conjour to the other countries mind are great... "would you like to get something out of my fanny pack? I can't reach..."

    Crazy, I love lists...

    1) They dont know how to make a hamburger

    Oh there's a strong tendancy to make them badly at little snack bars etc, but our McDonalds and Burger Kings are as good as the American ones (bread in the buns is a bit better in my opinion). I crave for a Wendy's or a Jack-in-the-Box though. I have to make my own instead, but they rule.

    2) they wore stupid red coats in battle for hundreds of years.

    To give you a chance... all those inbred mountain men needed a nice clear target...

    3) The Royals always seem to hook up with ugly chicks (Lady Di the exception) when they could be poking some hotties

    Unarguably true, but which part of "inbred nutters" is misunderstood here?

    4) They drive the wrong way

    See above, covered...

    5) The French convinced them to build little tiny shit cars

    No, we did that on our own thank you...

    6) Gas is too expensive and they call it Petrol!

    Gas is one of three forms of matter (or four if you include Plasma). Why you guys get this simple piece of science wrong we don't know.

    7) The pronounce Aluminum wrong

    This was due to an agreement by the Print Workers Union in 1914; Aluminium, colour, through, favourate... all the English words with extra letters in them are so the Print wrokers (who got paid on a per-letter basis) could make more money.

    8) They have Football confused with Soccer.

    American Football is the bastardised child of Rugby Leauge Football, with even slower play, fancy padded costumes, and lots of commercials. You have American Football confused with a sport, let's sort that misunderstadning first.

    9) They wont put American presidents on their money

    We have Royalty. They are crap, but it's not our fault, they're hereditry. You choose the people you put on your bills. Go figure.

    10) They dont like guns

    Yes, I know we're sensible. As a result we virtually never get shot. And your point was?

    11) The last war they started was over the worthless Falkland Islands. Invade a real country next time!

    Oh just 'cause you guys did Iraq Afghanistan and Kuwait recently Greneda and Panama didn't happen?

    12) They havnt invaded France in over 50 years and the last time didnt count becuase they were invited. Maybe they can take over Quebec for Starters.

    I agree. Well, about France. If you look at history Britain was always doing well when at war with France. It's a natural state of being. Everyone thought the French nuclear missiles in the Massif Centrale and Britain's Polaris fleet were aimed at the Russains. Wrong. We've had MIRIVs targeted on each other's major cities for over fourty years now.

    Too be fair though, Soccer holigans kick ass

    And then go to jail...

    Honestly, no one has mentioned...

    • That far-right neo-nazi's occasionally get voted in as local councillers - shame
    • That a woman, even one with children, is likely to receive a stiffer sentence than a man for the same crime - shame
    • That none of our political parties have anything approaching a 50/50 mix of men and women in office - shame
    • That we still have developing countries we make pay interest on loans they'll never pay back whilst giving them aid payments with the other hand - shame
    • We are party to restrictive trade agreements which subsidise or protect out-dated or inefficent industries or agriculture, and push prices up in the UK, and turn a blind-eye to massive profiterring in the sale of those items we can;t grow at home, like coffee, where the growers have very little and the manufacturers have loads. A big shame
    • That we have an archaic and unfair voting system - shame
    • That we complain about our public transport system despite the fact we voted for twenty years for people who let it wither... ditto schools, ditto hospitals. pparently wanting lower taxes is okay until you find out that lack of investment in public services means there aren't any. What a bunch of dummies we are...
    • If Michael Moore is right about one thing, he's right that out of Tony Blair and George Bush, our Prime Minister should have known better. Shame
    • Our welfare system is such that it creates a benefit trap where it is very easy to be in a situation where accepting low-paid or temporary work would mean you were worse off than just claiming benefit. Shame.
    • Our legal system is religiously biased. It also doesn't give enough rights to the absent parent in split relationships. Shame.
    • ... and our public libraries are a disgrace too...

    Now, British people will happily discuss the above REAL PROBLEMS, even with foreigners. Seeing the reluctance to really criticize the UK by a mainly American group of people make me very clearly realise that sometimes our trans-Atlantic cousins must feel our willingness to do it is some kind of insult or attack. Nope, we just treat other country's short-comings with the same cheerful and laid-back intolerance we treat our own.

    Interesting.

  • dubla
    dubla

    abaddon-

    Seeing the reluctance to really criticize the UK by a mainly American group of people

    is it reluctance or indifference? personally i just dont think amercians are as obsessed with the shortcomings of other countries as our "trans-atlantic cousins" are. its not really that interesting, for example, to make a fuss about the problems of the british legal system.......what would it accomplish? maybe we just dont feel the same need to turn everything into an us vs. them competition.?.

    aa

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz
    is it reluctance or indifference? personally i just dont think amercians are as obsessed with the shortcomings of other countries as our "trans-atlantic cousins" are. its not really that interesting, for example, to make a fuss about the problems of the british legal system.......what would it accomplish? maybe we just dont feel the same need to turn everything into an us vs. them competition.?.

    Yup.

  • Simon
    Simon

    No, it's more that we're likely to just say "yup ... it's crap".

    What Americans have trouble grasping is that defending the indefensible just annoys people and makes them more determined to prove their point.

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz
    What Americans have trouble grasping is that defending the indefensible just annoys people and makes them more determined to prove their point.

    All Americans?

  • dubla
    dubla

    simon-

    No, it's more that we're likely to just say "yup ... it's crap".

    you dont get it. let me help you:

    indifference (bold/italic mine):

    absence of anxiety or interest in respect to what is presented to the mind; unconcernedness

    understand? it means, most of the time you wouldnt even get the chance to "defend the indefensible", because the criticism wouldnt happen to begin with.......its simply not interesting enough to even bring up in the first place. like i said, we just dont share the obsession you (appear to) have with the shortcomings of other countries.......or the need for contant inter-continental competition you (seem to) possess.

    aa

  • Englishman
    Englishman
    personally i just dont think amercians are as obsessed with the shortcomings of other countries as our "trans-atlantic cousins" are.

    That's because we travel abroad much more than the Americans do. So we see lot's of differences in various countries. Some of what we see is very impressive, some of what we see is diabolical as in my trip into Albania last year. Our horizons are more broadened by travel, and the general American unwillingness to depart to foreign climes stops that broadening process.

    American news programmes are about America. Some of you guys need to get out more. My brother in law used to lecture at Ohio Uni. When I asked him what he thought about Americans, he said that he got on great with the ones who had travelled. The one's we meet over here, are of course the one's that have travelled, so that's why we love 'em.

    BTW, dump that Godawful Fox news. Heaven knows why it's beamed here, it doesn't endear anyone to the US at all.

    Keep going with the Simpsons though, we all love that show.

    Englishman.

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