XQ is an ass
Question... Do JWs shun Family?
by Sassy 66 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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ESTEE
Shunning is emotional blackmail, I figure. Not really surprising, considering the source is a high-control religious group that is fear-based.
Q. Does family shun you for being DF'd, DA'd or no longer participating?
A. I am disfellowshipped and therefore shunned by my two jw children who are grown up and married and on their own. Also shunned by all other jw relatives in the family. One uncle has tried to keep in touch up till recentlly. He has lost touch since I disconnected my land line and went wireless last year. I tried to keep in touch with my daughter since I moved to Vancouver, since she is also here. She has told me in no uncertain terms that I am not to attempt to contact her. She got married last fall and did not even invite me. I found out about the wedding through my very caring ex-sister-in-law, who is not a jw and we are still friends.
Q. Or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active JWs can't see??
A. Nope. They refuse to have any contact with me, in fact my son and daughter-in-law deliberately withhold things I would like to know, such as their addresses, or even the city/town where they are living.
Q. Do they share meals with you?
A. Nope
Q. Go shopping, see movies, do PUBLIC things with you?
A. Nope
Q. Is your life the same with them when you were a JW, as when you are not?
A. Very different. However, even though being shunned, I am creating a wonderful happy life for myself. A life of my choosing ... and one that I deserve, even though it is without my beloved children in my life.
Oh, by the way XQ! Disfellowshipped = Shunned
ESTEE
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ApagaLaLuz
My mother does not shun me, my father will talk to me only if I talk to him first. I went for a few years without any contact, till they got sick and needed my help, also so that they can have a relationship with their grandson, my nephew. The rest of my family completely shuns me. I also have 2 DF'd sisters who my family has had ZERO contact with for years. And I'm not even DF'd or DA'd.
I take back EVERYTHING I said here. They Do! And they have a sick way of getting off on making others HURT!!!
Chevy of the 'feeling really really bitter, but no reason to call anyone an ass' class
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CeriseRose
- Does family shun you for being DF'd, DA'd or no longer participating? DA'd and yes, my JW family does, wholeheartedly.
- Or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active JWs can't see?? No. I had one call from my sis since I DA'd...to ask for a DVD she thought was left at my house prior to my DAing.
- Do they share meals with you? No.
- Go shopping, see movies, do PUBLIC things with you? No.
- Is your life the same with them when you were a JW, as when you are not? No, they don't call, don't want me to call, don't even phone as they 'can' to find out if I'm okay or 'keep in touch' in anyway. I am as good as dead. I did send a letter recently regarding my engagement and have not received, nor do I expect to receive a response.
Now, pardon my boggling, but what planet is XQ on? I mean, has he/she just not read anything here? *blinks in confusion*
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ohiocowboy
Yes, they def. do shun! Even if they do not want to, they are forced to by the Elders, and others in the cong. They have to shun, or else they would themselves be looked down upon...
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XQsThaiPoes
XQ...you need to read the 1981 Sept1 & 15 W. on this. There has been no changes made since then.
Gumby
Wow someone does not know the difference between the dates Sep 1st 1981 and Apr 15 1988 thats just sad. Ill give you a hint 1988 comes after 1981.
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garybuss
The Spokane Spokesman
October 5 th 1996
Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses tackle custody issue
Weekend conference first to address legal difficulties of
leaving the sect
By Kelly McBride
Staff writer
Former Jehovah's Witnesses are gathering in Spokane this weekend to discuss child custody disputes and other bitter results of leaving the apocalyptic religious sect.
"The trauma of leaving this church is so destructive that people often implode or explode," said Jim Penton, a retired religion professor and ex-Witness. "There is a lot of breakdown, emotional and spiritual."
While former church members have met to commiserate for years, this conference is the first to address the legal difficulties encountered during divorce and custody proceedings.
"It's becoming _the_ issue for people who have left the church but still want to have some say in the way their children are raised, said Penton, who is among the few dozen people attending the conference. "The church can be pretty ruthless. They train children to alienate non-Witness parents."
Richard Rawe, a Soap Lake, Wash., resident excommunicated from the church in 1977, has been helping other ex-Witnesses since then. He said he is increasingly contacted by parents frustrated by their dealings with the church during legal proceedings.
"The church has a gaggle of about 60 attorneys which they will dispatch to members who need legal assistance," Rawe said. "It doesn't make a very even playing field."
Merton Campbell, a Jehovah's Witness spokesman in Brooklyn, N.Y., would not comment on Rawe's allegations. Local church authorities also declined to comment.
Campbell and other church leaders, though, said they didn't know about the sponsors of the conference, Bible Research and Commentary International, whose board is composed entirely of former paid church officers.
Church officials said they never advocate their followers violate court orders or state laws. But they acknowledged their doctrine of shunning former members leaves little room for non-Witness parents in the lives of children who are active in the church.
Jehovah's Witnesses tell children they can associate with their non-Witness parents until they are adults, said Campbell. But once they become adults, they must choose between continuing that association or remaining part of the church.
"We believe that we are obeying what the Bible has to say on that," Campbell said.
Jehovah's Witnesses, also known by their corporate moniker, the Watchtower Society, are a Christian sect that preaches the end of the world is near. The church has prepared for Armageddon on four different dates this century, but each time the believers have been disappointed.
In addition to their practice of proselytizing door-to-door, they are most often noted for their refusal to accept blood or organ transplants, salute the flag or serve in the military.
The church teaches that governments and other worldly organizations are agents of the devil. Members consider holidays or birthday celebrations forms of idolatry.
Catholics and Protestants generally regard Jehovah's Witnesses as heretics, because of their unorthodox beliefs, including the teaching that Jesus was a mere human being and not divine. Witnesses in turn believe the rest of Christianity has lost its true meaning and followers are being misled by Satan.
At the conference, which continues today and Sunday at Cavanaugh's Fourth Avenue hotel, attendees stood up one by one to share their moment of epiphany when they decided to break with the church.
Rueben Mecado of Spokane said that going to the funeral of a mother of five who bled to death during childbirth because she refused a blood transfusion raised questions in his mind.
His wife, Marlene, a third-generation Witness, said she watched her youngest son become socially isolated because the church teaches that children should not be involved in any extracurricular activities.
Sherry Veitenheimer, also from Spokane, said she was shocked to hear an elder proclaim that an abused woman should stay married to her abuser, but that divorce was acceptable if one spouse prevented the other from attending church.
"Once you accept that someone else is speaking for God, to doubt that source is the same as doubting God," she said.
Because former members are shunned, choosing to leave the church is often just as painful as staying, said Ron Frye, president of the ex-Witness group holding this weekend's convention.
Former church members have formed several of their own organizations, such as the Bible Research and Commentary International, and are widely represented on the Internet's World Wide Web.
Penton encouraged former church members to continue speaking out, but not to dwell on the bad experiences of others.
"I read these accounts on the Internet and it's like opening up old wounds," he said. "We don't want to be spiritual scab pickers. It does no good. we need to be positive about it."
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