Bestofme:
I didn't make it very clear, but the reason my situation is "severe" is because I now find myself married to a full-blown JW with a couple of young children as the result of my choice several years ago to stay together with my fringe JW girlfriend.
my boyfriend has decided to practice the religion activly again after two years. i am debating on whether or not to stay with him as this religion is a bit frightening to me. do you have any advice?
It sounds to me like he has already made up his mind. Has he been baptized? My girlfriend was. If he has not been baptized then you may have a fighting chance of steering him away before he commits, but it will take lots of time, reaserch and commitment on your part. I read a success story from Family_Man in this situation: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/76637/1238510/post.ashx#1238510
But if he has been baptized, as was my wife, then his mind will be much more closed to anything outside of the organization. Don't underestimate how bound to the Watchtower Society he actually is. There are many strong psychological factors which will cement him to the WTS (and all it's dogmatic legalism) as the only possible pathway. There are strong emotional hooks to the JW community and the JW promises. There are also strongly implanted fears and guilt about straying from the organization. As trivial as this may look in writing, anyone here can attest to the POWER of these forces on the JW mind (check out the topic: "best of...cult information"). So even if you DO make the commitment and effort to try to make him see things objectively, the odds are very stacked against you.
As the woman, you will be expected to be submissive and accepting of the direction and headship of your husband. In this respect your situation could likely develop to be worse than mine.
In all fairness, however, my wife is truly sincere in her beliefs and is a woman of good and strong character. Beyond the intrusion of the WTS on my home life, we have a good and workable relationship (albeit with sacrifices and effort). But my main stress in life is centered on the fate of our children. I simply cannot bear the thought of our kids growing up under the 'tower of fear and all that comes with it. Thus, the principle focus of my life has become to strategically rescue my family from this madness. To be honest, my kids are the only factor that keeps me going on. If not for the kids, sadly, I would throw up my hands and walk away from this thing...
So based on the luxury of hindsight, there are much more fulfilling paths available than the one I have taken. There are much better things to do than to spend countless hours of research on the Watchtower Society or on mind control issues. There are plenty of things to worry about without having to worry about indoctrinization of your kids. It is far preferable to avoid the stress I have brought upon myself in the path I have chosen. As Nosferatu said, JWs make up a small part of the population. Honestly, there is no shortage of better options just waiting for you out there, no matter how hard it may be to realize at the moment. The biggest hurdle is the initial breakup, and sticking with your decision. Better to go through a month of pain than a lifetime of stress and anguish. From there it things will only get better. I hope this helps you.
PS: one thing I must mention is that my wife very nearly lost her life for refusing a blood transfusion, nearly leaving me a widower with children. The whole intrusion of the WTS and its adherents into my life and the life of my family during this time, in this situation, was excruciating and has left some very deep scars.
