Suicide.... how do you view people who "attempt" it? (page 5)

minimus

If a person "is looking for attention", that's very very sad. Many people that were accuse of this killed themselves.

czarofmischief

If a person "is looking for attention", that's very very sad

It's a terrible feeling, being trapped inside a brain that wants to die. Panicking all the time... not good.

On the other hand, taking care of a sick person is very tiring and hard to do for long stretches of time. Taht's what people who live around a depressed person have to do, or feel obligated to do. Can't blame them for wanting out either.

CZAR

flower

I dont know how someone can give a general opinion about someone who attempts suicide without actually knowing that person or their personal circumstances.

That being said, as someone who has been there because of despair and hopelessness and abuse, if I encounter someone who is considering or attempted suicide I automatically picture myself in their shoes and I know exactly where they are and I can feel nothing but compassion. I wouldnt wish that place on my worst enemy.

People who assume its a ploy or attention seeking stunt or manipulation simply have never really been there. Some people think they are so important that everything someone does must be about them. Their attitude is if someone tries to end their life it must be just to hurt me somehow. Thats just because most people cant comprehend feeling that bad. But it is possible to truly believe that it is the best thing for everyone.

I'm sure there are a few nutcases out there who 'pretend' attempts just for attention from a loved one but that is not a suicide attempt. If we are talking about real attempts from people in real emotional pain..they should be helped.

I am only sorry that I dont know the right words to explain to them in a way they can understand that it can get better. Usually its like talking to a wall and nothing is going to convince them. But I would still try to help if I could. No one deserves those feelings.

outbutnotdown

Flower, you said:

People who assume its a ploy or attention seeking stunt or manipulation simply have never really been there. Some people think they are so important that everything someone does must be about them. Their attitude is if someone tries to end their life it must be just to hurt me somehow. Thats just because most people cant comprehend feeling that bad. But it is possible to truly believe that it is the best thing for everyone.

I'm sure there are a few nutcases out there who 'pretend' attempts just for attention from a loved one but that is not a suicide attempt. If we are talking about real attempts from people in real emotional pain..they should be helped.

I made a post on this topic yesterday about how my father "attempted" suicide when I was six and then told the family that if I hadn't "found" him, he would have taken more pills to definitely ensure that he died. I spent the next twelve years or so "saving" his life.

The reason I put the little "quotation marks" around certain words is because when I was about 21 I finally realized that he was, as you say, "a nutcase who pretend attempts just for attention from a loved one but that is not a suicide attempt."

It seems as though you expect people to be able to make an automatic determination of whether it is the real thing or fake. I know, at six I certainly didn't and it wasn't for any reason other than that I was six, for pete's sake. But even if I was 16 or 26 or 36, I'm not sure that I or other people should be able to just pass this off so easily as you suggest.

I think some of what you said is correct, however, the way that I read your comment you would do well to show a little more empathy to the other people involved in a suicide, either attempted or successful.

Brad

flower

Brad, I didnt have a chance to read your post but I am sorry if my answer to the question of the title upset you or suggested that I was less empathetic to the family members of suicide attempters.

Had your question been 'how do you view people who have had family members attempt suicide?' I would have had a different answer. Your question also was not 'how do you view mentally ill, emotionally controlling, nut cases who pretend to attempt suicide in order to get something from their families'? Again if that was the question I would certainly have poured out empathy on the poor family members like yourself who have to go through that kind of horrible experience. However I dont think you qualified your question enough if that is what you meant.

When I speak of suicide attempts I tend to think more of someone who is severely depressed, hopeless and at the end of a very long journey of despair which they simply cannot concieve ever ending. In most cases its not done to hurt family, control family, or do anything to family, in fact in most cases the attempter mistakenly thinks it is best for everyone. They hate "themselves" so much that they conclude that everyone hates them and would be better off. While it may appear to be the ultimate selfish act, someone who kills himself actually thinks less about themselves than they do any other person. Its all the hate, anger and negativity in their lives turned inward towards themselves. It takes more more self loathing than most people can concieve and renders most incapable of seeing the reality of what will happen to the people left behind.

I dont know anything about people repeatedly pretend to do it just for the attention and control of their families. That in my opinion is very sick, twisted behavior. I feel extremely bad for you and any other victim of that kind of emotional abuse. Surely you must realize that your father was not the usual case of a suicide attempter.

That is why I started my post by saying you cant really give a broad opinion of the attempter (as your question asks) unless you know the attempter.

teejay

Nothing but empathy and compassion.

I, too, have been down in the depths and came to fully understand why people take that route. It's never the answer, of course, and medication and/or counseling is nearly always successful.

LyinEyes

gumby

What happened Dede?

Gumby

czarofmischief

It's never the answer, of course, and medication and/or counseling is nearly always successful.

It helps with the "how" of survival. I've never had it give me a "why" I should want to live. Oh, I can drag this on for a time - a year, ten years, a couple of decades. But then, what was THAT all about? Why did I suffer for so long, doing nothing, being nothing, just hovering in a medicated trance? Who did it help?

I sometimes think that the suicides are the smartest, bravest people on the planet... they looked into the abyss and shrugged indifferently. They took their ball and went home.

Course, I'm a nutcase. What do I know?

CZAR

outbutnotdown

Czar,

I feel for you. I don't know, but to me, the only for sure thing about life is life itself. I cherish it, respect it and try to make the most out of it, despite the obstacles thrown at us. I used to be, and sometimes still am one of the people you describe:

I sometimes think that the suicides are the smartest, bravest people on the planet... they looked into the abyss and shrugged indifferently. They took their ball and went home.

I am not completely against suicide. I think if they want to do it, they will find a way anyway, so why not let them? From what most peoples' opinions are they are beyond help other than helping themselves anyway. However, at what point do we lay the law down, so to speak, to prevent them from hurting others, especially the children?

Maybe we should focus less on helping the suicidal people and spend the time and the money SOLELY on the victims of suicide. They are truly the innocent ones in the matter.

Brad

Suicide.... how do you view people who "attempt" it?

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