Today at the church I sometimes go to they quoted a part of a sermon from a well known theolgin of 200 years ago in the US. Now at that time the preponderance of religion was of the Calvinistic, Puritanical bent. This man was known for his fiery oratory. He said that below us is an open pit, the fires of hell burn hot and lick about our feet. We are as a spider, hung upon a thin silk web, dangling over that pit. God, he says, has control of that string, and he despises us, he thinks we should all be cast into hell. Nothing we do or say, says this man, will ever be good enough for god to change his opinion of us as being filthy degraded sinners worthy of being tormented forever.
It was because of that type of thinking that other faiths were adopted, that were inclusive rather than exclusive, that believe that we are born imperfect and not as inherent sinners worthy of destruction, that all are worthy of saving, and in fact are saved.
Now, I only go to this place occasionally, but it certainly fits with my image of the divine. It just goes against nature to suggest that god is that evil and vindictive angry and destructive. Not to mention a sick twisted sense of humor if he actually gets his jollies off on playing mind games with his followers.
I'm not a christian, but I have read the bible a lot. And, I have read a lot of secular material about the early church, and the politics of how the bible came to be fashioned into the book we know it today. All I can say is, if you do believe it, take Jesus as your model, he was loving, kind, inclusive, hung out with all manner of interesting and incorrigible people, and even told the murderer on the next stake/cross over that he would be in paradise with him that day (not after attending meetings, studying, and x number of months of field service followed by baptism).
In my case I take a whole 'nother tack, but thats another topic in and of itself.
Just keep open to new ideas, pray for guidance, and form your own opinions. Anyone that tells you that you are going to die forever or burn for that is full of shit (IMO). Good luck!
Sherry