Say Something Jehovah's Witnessy........

by minimus 160 Replies latest jw friends

  • Preston
    Preston

    ?We would like to inform the congregation that ?.?

    ?We would like to welcome?.?

    ?What can we glean from this study article??

    ?Proper Dress and grooming?

    ?We are going to need your time?

    ?You forgot your magazines?

    ?Have you been masturbating??

    ?Would you please open up your song books to song #...?

    ?Looks like some in the congregation have a case of the yeah-buts?

    ?You may be dismissed to the ?B? school?

    ?Our records indicate that this congregation?s service has been declining steadily?

    ?Would it be wise for us to?.??

    ?The society says?.?

    ?And this good news will be preached!?

    ?I will need a few copies of the ?panda? tract?

    ?Maybe you should consider going to Bethel"

    "But we're not solicitors!"

    "He's a sheep (or goat)"

    "This information will be posted on the information board"

  • new light
    new light

    Said between Public Talk and WT study by chairman: "Our meeting is not over yet." (Sigh)

    "We invite you to come back next Sunday for a fine Bible discourse entitled -------- to be given by Brother Lemming of the West Preachmore congregation."

    "Let's approach Jehovah in prayer."

    "We invite you to stand if you're able and sing song #174."

    "Sound it down into our hearts and minds"

    "We leave this meeting in your care and keeping" (classic prayer phrase)

    "Does anyone have any pre-arranged groups?"

    "Prayerfully consider"

  • paterfamilias
    paterfamilias

    "Put away the old personality and put on the new."

  • CountryGuy
    CountryGuy

    "I wish I could leave this damn cult religion without loosing my family and friends."

    CountryGuy - who was blessed to get out with his family, and made new friends.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    when your studying " question EVERYTHING!"

    when your baptized " dont question things, wait on jehovah for understanding"

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    I was raised in the truth.

    Theocratic war.

    Instill in your children from infancy...

    house-about

    pagan traditions

    hall-cleaning schedule

    book-study overseer

    Kwin

  • startingover
    startingover

    This week, the book study that meets at the Smith home, it's your privilege to clean the Kingdom Hall

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    "logic isnt important if it takes you away from jehovah" said to me in a chatroom, one of the funniest thing I've ever heard.

    Mrs Jones

  • JH
    JH

    Amen

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    " Are You New To The Truth?"

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit