by fairchild 108 Replies latest jw friends
"...there is an aspect in my life that goes seriously against biblical principles."
Slavery, polygamy, animal sacrifice, human sacrifice, incest, genocide, "ethnic cleansing". All things that are against current biblical principles, right?
Yet all are approved of in the bible at one point or more. If you are not harming another person, don't take too seriously the claims that your lifestyle is "against biblical principles".
There is great beauty & joy in "the world". It's not hard to find. It's all what you choose to see.
I'd like to address your feelings of guilt and unworthiness. Better get used to them.
I think most all here would agree that guilt comes with being a witness. The standard we are to reach for is simply unattainable, therefore we feel unacceptable by Jehovah.
If we can't make the national average of preaching hours, we feel guilty. If we make the national average but can't pioneer, we feel guilty. If we auxillary pioneer but can't regular pioneer, we feel guilty, and on and on. If we miss a meeting, or even wish we could miss a meeting, we feel guilty. We are always told to give more, more. This is a perfect recipe for guilt and unworthiness.
This is the problem of religions that base salvation on works. Since humans are by nature imperfect, there is no way we can ever earn Jehovah's favor. Not even the most pious, God-fearing member of the Governing Body is acceptable to him. What did Jesus die for if all we have to do is be good and do what the Society says to gain everlasting life. I suggest you read about salvation through grace.
I know I lived with the terrible guilt for 30 years. Now, for the first time in my life, I'm free of it, and it makes all the difference in the world. I've never walked without the heavy weight of the witness burden until now. I've found that worshipping can be a pleasure and not a millstone.
I hope you can find peace at the end of your struggle.
Penny
Hi steve,
The amount of replies to my story is overwhelming me a bit, sorry about the late reply, I had to work today and just got home. Your story is interesting, and I can (we probably all can) relate to the questions you used to ask yourself. The replies here have taught me a lot actually. (sigh, they sure have not strengthened my faith).
This strange, but today I was talking to one of my customers at work, one thing led to another, and I soon found out that she was an ex JW. What a coincidence. We were talking about 1975, and I thought of you, as I had read your reply before going to work. I won't deny that the 'changing truth' hasn't bothered me in the past. A few years ago, I remember how 'this generation' -born before 1914- somehow got extended to a more vague concept. My sister told me that several people in her hall quit because of that.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for your own story, which I read with great interest, and will probably reread again withing the next few days. I wish you good luck in everything you undertake.
Hi Black sheep, Thank you for the hint and I will keep it in mind. perhaps one of my reasons for being on this site is so that I have a chance to hear all voices, positive as well as negative.
fairchild, God promised he would not give a scorpion to one asking for a candy. Your sincere search for the truth will be fulfilled, because God hears, I truly believe that. Keep searching, keep asking, no fear, He hears it all and is waiting to reply.
You may want to try an alternative study, http://alphacourse.org/
It is an interfaith course, offered by Catholics and Protestants alike.
Hi country woman,
So sorry to hear about what happened to you and your daughter. I'm shocked about what you said about Russell, I had no idea. Some day soon when I have more time, I am going to look up everything I can find about him. This can be interesting. You're from the Netherlands? If there is something you have difficutly expressing in English, feel free to do it in Dutch, it is my native tongue and I still write in it at least once a week.
Good luck to you and your daughter, and thanks for the advice. Don't worry, I will not get baptized any time soon, and if it ever happens, I will be completely sure that this is the thing I want to do.
Hi anuva,
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I do agree that there is wickedness everywhere, even among JW's. On the other hand, I have also seen much kindness among JW's. For example, there is a 96 year old lady in our hall. She lives in a nursing home now, and everyone helps her out, takes her out for lunch, takes her shopping, etc... Her wall is covered with pictures of the children at the hall. Perhaps I am wrong, but I do believe that there is at least more effort among JW's to be kind to one another.
Hi granny linda,
Wow, your words sound bitter at times. Personally, I concentrate, not on hating what is wrong, but on loving what is good, and that is not always easy, because it almost feels natural to develop negative feelings.
IRecently, I read the diary of Anne Frank, and one line in that book particularly struck me. (quote) "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are truly good at heart" (unquote) There is so very much sadness in the relization of what happened to her, and in the fact that she really believed that there was good, even in the people who didn't have a grain of compassion for people like her. it is because of such things that I have to keep concentrating on the good. "Good" is not necessarily in people, it can be in anything, like in the beauty of starry night.
Hi fairchild,
I just wanted to give you a warm welcome here. I'm impressed by the way you are trying to address all of the folks who respond to you. You are a very considerate person!
I agree with the one who said that it takes a while to carefully go through information and be sure, rather than making quick decisions and be sorry. I liked your analogy of buying a car! I think you are wiser than you would suspect.
bebu
