Freedom or Bondage.....a Hard Choice for Many (page 2)

AlanF

Winston Smith said:

: I am begining to understand that one mate leaving the WTS will destroy a bad marriage, but a marriage founded on love for the spouse's inner, Authentic Self can possibly survive the storm.

True enough. The problem with JWs is that the Organization trains them not to have real love for anyone other than JW leaders. Remember that old JW saw about marriage bonds being a "threefold cord" between Jehovah, the man and the woman? In JW practice, "Jehovah" is nothing more than the Governing Body, so when a person quits the JWs, the JW mate often thinks that the marriage bonds are broken and can treat the intelligent mate any way he or she pleases.

AlanF

gumby

Winston....can a person not have personal integrity to themselves in their heart by believing what they want within themselves? If my wife asks me if her butt looks big in her pants.....should I keep integrity to myself and tell the truth, or say...."yes hun, it looks good"?

Beats self with tennis shoe for using a dipshit analogy*

Gumby

Gill

I don't know if my example could be any help to you or any one else in making a decision but I don't think you should live a lie.

My husband after being quite depressed for a while and stand offish with me told me that he didn't want to go to the meetings any more and there would be no discussion about it. I could carry on if I wanted he didn't mind. I was shocked but relieved because I was afraid that something more serious was up. He used to help me get the children ready for the meeting and take us there.

Then one day, I was sitting in a sunday meeting, bored to tears and I just thought, What the bloody hell am I doing here listening to this crap. I realised that I didn't want to be there either and had never wanted to be there. That was the last meeting I ever went to, almost.

There followed a Tuesday group meeting, and my head and body knew I didn't want to be there as I could not stay in the group. I had to keep going out I was shaking so badly and felt so ill and nervous.

It's taken me years of counselling and therapy to break free from an organization that I always hated and that would never had happened if my husband had not made his stand. You can't always tell what your brainwashed marriage mate will do and how they will react, but if you treat them with love and kindness you may be surprised at the result.

Now we're both free and finally REALLY happy!

Good Luck!

Doubtfully Yours

At the point where I stand right now, the pain is not worth the freedom from the WTBTS. This is why I still comply, although minimally.

DY

JustTickledPink

There is nothing more valuable in life than simply LIVING YOUR OWN TRUTH.

Living a lie I think must be the most difficult thing to do to yourself.

gumby

DY......Your an example of what I am talking about. Some know within themselves if they can handle the emotional storm that often follows, or whether they cannot, or even want to. Some sadly......never realised in their wildest dreams of the difficulty they would face emotionally with their mates or children on the scale that it affected them.

Alan......the 3 cord illustration was a good one. I wonder however.......if true love can still be seperated by religion/god......after all, dubs allow their beloved children to die for religion/god ( blood issue).......and these ones "truly" love their children.

Gumby

AlanF

Gumby said:

: I wonder however.......if true love can still be seperated by religion/god...

If it can, it ain't true.

: ...after all, dubs allow their beloved children to die for religion/god ( blood issue).......and these ones "truly" love their children.

I think that most JWs merely tell themselves that they love their children. Most JWs, I'm convinced, know deep down that there's something very wrong with their religion, and so for selfish reasons -- a hope of in "living forever in Paradise", not love of God -- they follows the cult's precepts. I think that the proof that most JWs don't really love their children is that we all know that plenty of them would kill their children if the Watchtower Society told them to. Your sarcasm re the blood issue is proof of this.

AlanF

A Paduan

No one's mentioned the "preaching work" or concern for the 'yet to be ravaged' class

Princess

I think that most JWs merely tell themselves that they love their children. Most JWs, I'm convinced, know deep down that there's something very wrong with their religion, and so for selfish reasons -- a hope of in "living forever in Paradise", not love of God -- they follows the cult's precepts. I think that the proof that most JWs don't really love their children is that we all know that plenty of them would kill their children if the Watchtower Society told them to. Your sarcasm re the blood issue is proof of this.

I sincerely hope you are wrong.

My first thought when I read your comments above...he doesn't have children. No parent would say that with such authority.

I think it's possible that they love their children with some conditions that they feel are for their own good and relate to their salvation. Some are definitely very much under the control and conditioning of the cult. To say that MOST JWs don't really love their children is way off base.

I think the majority would take their chances and do what it takes to save their children. WTS be damned.

A Paduan

No one's mentioned the support by proxy for the "preaching work" - or the 'yet to be savaged' class

Freedom or Bondage.....a Hard Choice for Many

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