WOW!!! interesting response from my dad

by jaredg 60 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  jaredg

  recently my father and i have been arguing over scriptual interpretation getting nowhere so i wrote him this email to see what his reaction would be...check it out!!

  here is my email to him...

  maybe we should take a break from these conversations on
  interpretation of scripture. we could argue these points forever
  without absolutely knowing who is right and who is wrong. i think we
  spend too much time arguing who is right and who is wrong anyway. we
  should be focusing on leading christian lives and displaying a
  christian attitude and that's what i am doing. i also want my family
  back!! if the only way to get that to happen is for me to get
  reinstated by the WTS then i will consider it. maybe i can sit with
  tom in the back or something. will i have to use a NWT while i sit in
  the meetings? i'd like to use the time i'm sitting in the back to
  compare other translations. i have one request from you if i do
  decide to go back to meetings and get reinstated...i want you to help
  me leave without being DF'd or DA'd after i am reinstated. for
  example...if i'm reinstated and i stop going to meetings after that
  what will happen? i'm sure the elders will try to contact me to
  "encourage" me. can i just tell them that i don't want to be
  contacted anymore and that's that? if i tell them that i don't want
  to go to meetings anymore will they consider that an act of
  disassociation? how do i leave with out being shunned? i need an
  update on the latest rules. if i am reinstated but afterward stop
  going to meetings will i be invited to family gatherings? will i be
  able to go on family vacations? we have to figure this out before i
  try and come back b/c if i'm just going to lose my family again then
  it would just be a waste of my time. i'm also going to need some
  coaching on what to say to the elders so that they will reinstate me.
  i know to avoid questions about my loyalty to the WTS and to be vague
  in my answers. i just hope i can bite my tounge long enough.
  
  with much love,
  jared

  and this is his reply

  OK.
  1. If you are reinstated and stop going to meetings after that nothing
  will happen.
  2. Yes the elders will contact you to encourage you. You would realize
  that they have your best interest at heart, so you would smile and be
  nice. Don't tell them you don't want to be contacted anymore. Don't
  tell them you don't want to go to meetings anymore. Meetings aren't
  that bad, you can at least go to a few after you are reinstated, and to
  the conventions and assemblies and the Memorial with your family.
  3. If you are reinstated, and don't go to meetings you will be invited
  to all family gatherings, all family vacations, along with your wife and
  children.
  4. You can sit with Tom in the back. He will be going to the same
  Cong. As Rick, and that is where I would like for you to go. You would
  rather be with that Cong. than working with Noel. Your Mother and I did
  not like the way he treated you.
  5. You can use any translation you like. Try to get a good one; some
  have completely cut out Jehovah's name, some support the trinity and
  other false doctrines.
  6. I will coach you on what things to say and do so that you will be
  reinstated. I will coach you on what to say and what to do so that you
  will not be dissfellowshipped again.
  7. I will not however help you to leave. I too feel that I have your
  best interests at heart. I feel that you will be much happier if you
  don't "leave." Despite all the negative things that some of the brothers
  do. Of course any decisions you make are your own. You are a man. But
  please keep in mind that decisions you make as a man will have a direct
  effect on your wife and children. (I speak of your wife and children
  because you will sooner than you think have wife and children.)
  
  HOPE AGAIN!
  
  Love Dad

  so what do you think? by the way yes i am thinking about getting reinstated just to fade away. damn..the things i'll do for family
• 

  Neo

  Oh, boy!!

  Look at this:

  Meetings aren't that bad,

  you can at least go to a few after you are reinstated,

  If you are reinstated, and don't go to meetings you will be invited
  to all family gatherings, all family vacations, along with your wife and
  children.

  I will coach you on what things to say and do so that you will be
  reinstated. I will coach you on what to say and what to do so that you
  will not be dissfellowshipped again.

  Witness pragmatism...
• 

  franklin J

  great letters...I am sure your father loves you very much.

  My son is 10 years old; such a situation would just break me up.

  ...this religion does horrible things to people.....

  Frank
• 

  bikerchic

  First all Jared I think it's great you are communicating with your Dad and are up front with him with your desires to not be totally a JW, just name only to have contact with the family.

  I rather think though that his intention is that once you start going you will eventually get back in the fold totally, thus the wife and children tug he put in his reply.

  It's a shame what the WTS does to families in the name of love........

  I hope it goes well for you whatever you decide.

  Kate
• 

  Fleur

  I, at one or two points in the past several years, considered doing just that. Mostly, for my grandmother's sake. She's gone now, so that isn't an issue, but believe me right after her death my family tried a huge campaign to use that to get me to come back. "It was grandma's dearest wish that you make things right with Jehovah." What kind of manipulative trash is THAT?!

  I couldn't, though. I realized that my family would still treat my husband as an outsider, and the worst part is that it would be like giving my full endorsement for them to brainwash my child. I couldn't let my silence be agreement with the screwy things that they teach.

  It's a very individual decision, of course. You have to do what you feel is best of course. If there are no kids to consider I think it's an easier choice to make...just be sure that you know that your family will really accept you if you go back and then fade. I always had the feeling that if I went back, I'd have to pioneer or the family wouldn't believe I was sincere and would continue treating me like crud.

  (((((((((Jared))))))))))))
• 

  jaredg

  I rather think though that his intention is that once you start going you will eventually get back in the fold totally

  yes i am aware of that and i told my dad that i am awareof it and not to get his hopes up. they might have hope but i have determination!!
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  Hey Jared,

  How successfully could you fade? Do you smoke, celebrate Christmas/birthdays, are you gay? If you don't have any overtly un-JW habits, then you're probably good to go. We wanted to put up holiday decorations, so a fade just wasn't gonna happen.

  What are you expecting in terms of time to reinstatement? Did you DA? Or were you DF'd? Depending on why you're out, you're probably looking at one "heartfelt" letter of repentance followed by a meeting with the JC, three months of meetings, another letter and another JC meeting, probably three more months, then a letter and a final meeting. Total: 6 grovels, 6 months of at least one meeting a week. (The OLD organized book says "several months, a year, or even longer" for time to reinstatement. I wonder what the new one will say?)

  If you DA'd, good luck avoiding the 'do you believe in the FD&S' question. If you really want it, just lie. Lying goes against the grain, but it's not like you have to lie forever. You lie to them this one time, then you never need to answer it again.

  Being DF'd was hell for me, I cried at every meeting. But I *believed* it back then. Today, you could sit and daydream, note some interesting quotes to share on JWD, it could be almost fun. And it would be comical to watch the sheep obediently shunning you.

  It's your life, maybe you don't want to waste 6 months or a year of it pleasing this cult. On the other hand, maybe you don't want to spend the rest of it being shunned by your family. Honestly, from where I sit, it sounds like a decent investment.

  D@mn religion.

  Dave
• 

  bikerchic

  yes i am aware of that and i told my dad that i am awareof it and not to get his hopes up. they might have hope but i have determination!!

  Well stick to your guns Jared! I'm basically doing the same thing to have contact with my family, so far I've successfully faded and hope to fly below their radar. Family is too important to me to out myself.

  Hang in there!

  Kate
• 

  jaredg

  AA thanks for your post. i'm trying to keep a positive outlook about going to the meetings. even tough it would proably take more than 6 months to get reinstated it would just be 4-5 hours a week. i think i can handle that. plus i plan on keeping a critical mind the whole time. i plan on taking notes, examining doctrine and using a translation besides the NWT during the meetings. i also plan on keeping my beard!! my dad feels confident that i can be reinstated even if i have a worldy girlfriend, have a worldy roommate and a beard. we'll see if his theory is accurate. so basically two things will happen...he'll be right and i get reinstated or he'll be wrong and i won't. but if i don't, even after following his advice, my dad might get VERY ANGRY AT THE BODY OF ELDERS! maybe it will cause him to have some doubt. who knows but to me both outcomes are good. oh and yes i will share any funny stories here on JWD.
• 

  frankiespeakin

  Jaredg,

  I hope everthing works out for you and your JW family. ((The things we have to do for family.)) What ever you decide I wish it sucess.