WOW!!! interesting response from my dad (page 4)

mouse

I understand your actions completely. I was fortunate when I left because my immediate family also stopped going to meetings. If that wasn't the case, I would seriously consider doing something similar. I think it is good that you are being honest with your parents and telling them that you have no intention of staying once you are reinstated. I think it would be different if you were deceiving them. Even though it is not an ideal situation, at least you could be with your family again. I think it is so sad that a religion can tear a family apart like this. Good luck and I hope things work out for the best!

jgnat

Lots of advice, here, for and against. I am going to comment only on a little bit, as I do end up attending some meetings with my JW husband. I am living proof that you can join in the JW steamroller and keep your mind intact.

i plan on keeping a critical mind the whole time.

Knowing your own mind on things is essential, and you have that already.
You may want to do a genuine independent study of the Watchtower articles every week. Use your highlighters to mark any manipulative language, fallacies, unsupported claims, etc. Join Blondie in her weekly study. Real thinking is a great antidote. I warn you, though, this does take more time than the "Jehovah way".
On days you can't stand another bit of "food in season", a fast brainless way get through the articles is to read the question first, then mark the "answer". I spare my brain a lot of repetitive fluff that way.
Bring toys to the meetings. Notepad, paper. Nobody need know you are planning your next vacation, renovation, or Christmas dinner menu.

jaredg

Having said that, this is the saddest most asinine thing I have ever read. Just for a moment look at this as if you knew nothing about the dubs and read it through those eyes. This is a path of deliberate lies and evasions to skirt the rules of this religion and your father, whose congregational position I don't know, is actually giving you pointers in how to do that??!!!

yes...i'm am trying to beat the system!! my dad stepped down as an elder recently b/c he was discouraged by the plotics and power stuggle going on in the congregation. it's interesting b/c my dad actually has a lot of views similiar to some of us here but he just can't let go of the WTS being appointed by God and he trully believes that all the wrongs he sees will one day be cleansed by Jah. probably has something to do w/ being raised a JW. maybe one day he'll see the light but i'm happy to have him on my side for now. even though he's sick of the politics he's good at it.

JustTickledPink

there was a time when I thought about faking it for a while.. but I have moved on beyond that point. I couldn't stomach it myself. I don't think the elders would take me serious if I was rolling my eyes through every meeting!

BUT back to the topic of you... your Dad closed with "HOPE AGAIN" ... he is getting his hopes up. As my mom tells me "You ARE a JW, you just are DF'd right now, you KNOW the truth, etc" even though I have told me many times that I don't believe in it and I'm not a JW.

It might work, I just hope you don't go insane trying to fake it. And.... fornication is such a stupid rule, I don't believe in the word or the concept. It is so antiquated, and was written by a bunch of men. Bottom line.

BrendaCloutier

Jared, hon, good luck. I have no problems with your reasons for "going back".

I faded for reasons my parents know and understand. But I made the mistake of trying to win their acceptance by following their suggestion that if I got married, that maybe they would associate more with me. I found the first guy that was interested and married him. (husband #2)

My parents were no more interested in a relationship with me as before I married. The guy had a good heart but was an alki (I am too, but was trying to get sober at the time). When he was sober he was a great guy, and when drunk a real asshole. He even threatened to kill me if I left, though he was almost never physically violent.

Man, I learned a tough lesson on that one.

I have a relationship now with my 87 yo parents. My dad is diabetic, lost his lower legs, and has developed alzheimers. He is still lucid at times, and recognizes me whenever I go over. I am not married, I live with my spousal unit of 7 years, and they have even asked me to bring my Kevan over! Time and age healed their wounds and attitudes.

I'm 48 and have endured this crap from them (mostly my PO dad) since I was 25, and they realized after I left my extremely abusive good JW husband (husband #1) that I wasn't going to go back or change my worldly ways.

Your situation is a bit different. Cut your beard if you have to. Don't get rid of the girlfriend. Do what you feel best for you and your need for your family. I know too well what it is like to be divorced from mine. It's very painful.

Hugs and love and blessings

Brenda

Mark

Jared,

Judging by his e-mail, I believe your dad is beginning to wake up from the WT nightmare. He doesn't speak like a

'true' believer. Best of luck there. However, I think you might have a problem getting reinstated if you have a girlfriend, beard

and the rest. Many elders will take that to be a 'bad attitude' and will 'encourage' (= harass) you to give them up as a sign of

your repentance before they let you back in the congregation. If you were DF over some issue with a girl, then

keeping a relationship alive will definitely be a no-no for the body of elders. If it was a 'rebellious attitude' of some sort,

then using a non-aproved translation at the meetings (or keeping a beard, the utter sign of rebellion in the witness world! )

won't help you at all. You see, those men attach a great importance to the smallest of things. It also feels like the elders

might try to get back at your dad through you and harass you for longer than you think, I don't know. Anyway, best of luck,

whatever you decide to do.

Mark

upside/down

jg- best of luck... life sucks and then you leave the bOrg.

Beat them at their own game! Only don't let keep you in the mud too long. lol

u/d

czarofmischief

That's fine, as long as that whole Armageddon thing never happens...

But if it does, of course, you realize that you won't have fooled anybody important. At least, that is what a dub would say.

CZAR

Country Girl

Jared:

This is an example of the incredible torment within families that the JW's inspire. While it is *very* apparent that your Father loves you *very much*, and he wants you back bad enough to help you deceive the Elders into believing that you truly love Jehovah and are willing to serve him and the Organization at the expense of your integrity, it just shows the cognitigive dissonance that these JWs are experiencing. Many of them have *no clue* that there is such a thing as personal integrity and attempting to live an hypocrisy-free lifestyle. It's all meaningless to them because there is no virtue in living serenly with the acceptance of Christ as their personal Savior. Only by living the suffering, regimented, Christian lifestyle as dictated by the mandates of the Borg do they think they have a chance. They have to DO something to be found faithful at Armagheddon, and even they are never sure if it's enough, so they constantly resort to little white lies and manipulations.. whatever they have to do, to save others.

Good luck in your attempt to become reinstated and fade again, I truly mean that! I know how important family is to people... and any way that you can achieve that, then go for it! However, I am frankly amazed at your Father's cooperation with your plan, but am pleased at the exhibition of love, caring and compassion he has demonstrated for you. What a lucky man you are to have such a beautiful Father!

CG

Elsewhere

I am frankly amazed at your Father's cooperation with your plan,

This is because he is concerned about satisfying the rules and regulations of a publishing corporation... NOT serving a god.

WOW!!! interesting response from my dad

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