WOW!!! interesting response from my dad (page 5)

Narkissos

Hi Jaredg,

I too think that your father loves you very much, and that is something very precious.

You can help him, kindly and gradually, to realise how silly the whole system is. Please be careful.

jaredg

Jared,
Judging by his e-mail, I believe your dad is beginning to wake up from the WT nightmare. He doesn't speak like a
'true' believer. Best of luck there. However, I think you might have a problem getting reinstated if you have a girlfriend, beard
and the rest. Many elders will take that to be a 'bad attitude' and will 'encourage' (= harass) you to give them up as a sign of
your repentance before they let you back in the congregation. If you were DF over some issue with a girl, then
keeping a relationship alive will definitely be a no-no for the body of elders. If it was a 'rebellious attitude' of some sort,
then using a non-aproved translation at the meetings (or keeping a beard, the utter sign of rebellion in the witness world! )
won't help you at all. You see, those men attach a great importance to the smallest of things. It also feels like the elders
might try to get back at your dad through you and harass you for longer than you think, I don't know. Anyway, best of luck,
whatever you decide to do.
Mark

Mark you are right about the elders BUT my father feels differently. you see my plan is two fold and either outcome would be ok with me. either the elders go for it and i'm reinstated or they don't which will in turn make my father very angry. check out his latest email

I WILL SUPPORT YOU ABOUT THE BEARD AND THE non-JW GIRLFRIEND. But don't
close your mind in advance to at least going to some meetings after you
are reinstated. At least to the assemblies, conventions and to the
Memorial. It would be great to have you at those occasions with us.

Just get reinstated and then we can take it from there.

I don't give my opinion about how I think animals will act in the new
system, and I don't agree with what the Society often publishes on that
subject. I just keep silent. Jehovah will show one day exactly what is
correct. So can you keep silent if something comes up that you have
questions about, and wait on Jehovah to settle these types of things?

you see my father sees nothing wrong scriptually w/ having a beard or "wordly" GF and using a non-NWT bible. this means that if the elders say that they won't reinstate me b/c of my beard, GF or whatever my dad will have my back on this!!

elswhere wrote:

This is because he is concerned about satisfying the rules and regulations of a publishing corporation... NOT serving a god.

you hit the nail on the head!! my dad feels that i should be reinstated immediately, he agrees w/ me on the prodigal son parable, but he has a couple things holding him back. he still believes tha WTS is god's organization and even though he sees all the things wrong w/ it he feels that jehovah wil makes things right in due time. it's going to be interesting how things unfold. i'll keep you guys posted!

cyber-sista

Wow, Jered,

How frustrating for you. How sad that this religion comes between natural family bonds. I hope you make it work somehow.

Maybe going over all this process with you Dad will make him think. He knows how much you care about the family to be making the effort you are. Maybe he will see through it all in the process. the best to you all.

much love, cybs

Stromboli

Hi Jered,

Well, I find it dangerous for a person to lie about their beliefs for the sake of the family. I've never seen it last that long, but I could be wrong.. also if something goes wrong in your plan have you really thought about the repercussions with your dad ??? I mean if they are prepared to "hide" you why aren't they prepare to speak with you??? Doing all this...I just see it as begging for love and you should never ask someone to love you. He said you are a man well he is a man too and he shoudn't ask you to lie so he can love you.

Sorry Jereg, I really wish you well but hey this is mad to me. Whatever you do may Jehovah help you.

willyloman

Meetings aren't
that bad, you can at least go to a few after you are reinstated, and to
the conventions and assemblies and the Memorial with your family.

Just chew on this for a minute.

He's asking you to go to "some" meetings and the conventions, assemblies and Memorial. Most dubs don't do any more than that, and some much less.

So you're weighing your relationship with your family versus six months to a year of "sitting in the back" and participating in your own shunning AND THEN a lifetime of dubdom to follow. Hell of a choice, my friend.

blondie

I would think there was not a hope in hell of getting reinstated with an openly admitted 'girlfriend'. Am i wrong?

I think that falls under not showing "works befitting repentance," Jez. Gotta hide that girlfriend.

Blondie

heatherg

I have to agree with Jez, make them come to you. I waited for 9 yrs. and one night at 2am my oldest brother showed up at my door, just to talk. He comes over once a week to spend time with me and my family. He's still JW, but a fence sitter, and he doesn't let my other brothers or my parents know that he comes to my house. Now I'm just waiting for my other brothers and my mom to come around. I have no hope for my dad. He's a self righteous elder, tryannical, etc... So Jaredg, be careful not to play to their rules too much, you might end up sacrificing your principals. hg

confusedjw

James said:

Dear Jared,

What all this really comes down to how important is integrity to you? Is it worth living a lie, bastardizing yourself that you may be once again accepted by your family?

If integrity and honesty have little meaning to you, then lie and deceive your way into whatever situation you want. However, if being honest and true is important, then your path is already laid out. You will clearly know what you can and can not do (even if it costs you association with your family).

You can't have it both ways.

I suggest you listen closely and respectfully to your silent inner heart, and become very clear on what type of life you are going to lead; and then stand by that.

I have to disagree. Jared layed out very clearly to his father his feeling, thoughts and planned actions. No lies there. I understand your point concerning the elders and the congregation, but this is for the greater good.

A reed in the wind that won't bend will break.

jaredg

hey everyone...thanks again for your posts. i want to make this very clear....I DON NOT CARE ABOUT GETTING REINSTATED!! but my dad truely believes that i can be even w/ a worldy gf and a beard!! again i reiterate....either my dad is right and i will be reinstated or he will be proven wrong. both are outcomes i would be happy with. yes i do have a worldy GF and no we don't commit fornication and haven't for a long time! so they either take my word for it or they don't.

i am not going to live a life of Dubdom. in fact i don't plan on attending any meetings as soon as my reinstatement is announced. i know my dad would WANT me to continue going to meetings but the fact that i'm willing to put up with this bullshit religion for 6 months for him should be enough. if all else fails i can just say "Dad I did what you wanted and there is nothing more that I will do" and he will just have to live with that. i made it very clear to him yesterday on the phone that the ONLY reason i'm getting reinstated is for him and mom...THAT'S IT. the fact that he was fine with that just goes to show you the hold that the WTS has on him.

i'm trying to look at the big picture...i'm 26 yrs old and i hope that my parents are around for at least another 25 years....if all i have to do is sit in the back of the KH for 5 hours a week for 6 months and pretend to be all sad and write heartfelt BS letters to the elders (maybe i'll just get my dad to write them) then it will be worth it to me to give my parents peace of mind. i'll also be able to go to family reunions and other family trips, have my parents envloved w/ my future family and kids. that my friend is worth a little bit of my time. BUT i'm not stupid and i realise that things might not work out...if i sense the heat coming around the corner i'm just going to walk away. i feel very powerful right now and i will not be afraid to just walk out the door!

Swan

Sounds like a good plan Jared. Well thought out. The best of luck to you on this and we are here for your support!

Tammy

WOW!!! interesting response from my dad

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