by PClark 44 Replies latest jw friends
I have been visited by a local jw woman weekly for almost 4 years and started weekly study about 1 year ago. Friday things took a more serious turn and I am very uncomfortable.
I need advise on how to stop the meetings (without being offensive) and still get away from this madness before it gets out of control.
Pclark
I would kindly (*but firmly*) ask the JW lady to simply not call around anymore, without offering any explanation. You don't owe her any explanation.......
She is coming to your home as a guest, so you have the right to cancel the Bible Study.....
Pope
If you are feeling uncomfortable after only study, you should realize that the 'madness' will only get worse...
Don't worry about offending anyone... Its totally your choice whether or not to continue the study, don't let them pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. Just tell them you are no longer interested in studying the Bible with them, whatever questions you had about their beliefs have been answered, etc.
No Apologies
This isn't going to be an easy thing to do in my opinion, so you need to go into this situation resolved and with firm reasoning. Witnesses are trained to overcome any objection and are very good at it. I wouldn't be suprised to find someone in your situation who wants to make a clean break from it all to still be studing/attending meetings a year from now and not quite know what happened. They can be very overwhelming in overcoming your protests, and they LOOOOVE guilt, which can be a strong thing to argue against. So my advice would be to be firmly resolved, have your reasoning in line and absolutley refuse to have further contact with these people, even if they say it's to "Just see how you're doing". In my experience this was a tactic used to try to worm into a persons confidence again. Other than that, good luck! I really hope it works out for you, and I think you made a great decision.
I worry that they may not stop coming, or that "reinforcements" may accompany her in the future.
I do not want to get sucked into this any more than I already have been. Everything was fine until talk of going to the hall began. as was mention of "already knowing people when I get there.
I would inform her/him in writing and would include a request to be removed from their territory records or noted as DO NOT CALL. Also reinforce with phone message. I would not agree to meet in person with her/him again. I would also change my phone number.
I agree that these people are relentless and will send others in their stead if you are not perfectly clear. good luck. and congratulations on waking up in time.
What do you mean "send others"?
It would be highly likely that they would send someone more considered more "mature" or eloquent to visit you to see if they might change your mind on the matter. Hence everyones concern that you leave no doubt in their minds that you will not tolerate any further contact from ANYONE in the congregation and to get yourself put on the "Do Not Call" list. I don't know if this means anything to you... but it will to them.
you are the second one to mention the "do not call" list, is this different from the national register? do I have to do anything more than mention the list?
you are the second one to mention the "do not call" list, is this different from the national register? do I have to do anything more than mention the list?
The witness have a "do not call" list for every territory map in their local territory. You must ask to be put on that list.
After you tell them you no longer want to study make sure you aren't at home during the time you had your Bible study just go out for a couple of hours. Screen all your calls via an answering machine and only return the ones you want and need to return.
And you don't need to give any reason for not wanting to study at all and don't open it up for discussion just be matter of fact with them. If she says she'll stop by from time to time ask her to please don't. Get a NO PEDDLERS, NO SOLICITORS AND NO JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES sign made for your door. That should do it!
BTW Welcome to JWD!
Good luck!
Kate
