You know you're a JW when....

by Preston 39 Replies latest social humour

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  Preston

  You know that D.C. isn?t the capital where the president of the United States lives

  A pioneer isn?t an 1800?s historical figure who traveled the west

  The majority of books in your parent?s bookshelf have years on them

  A yearbook has nothing to do with school

  The people from history that you are told to admire all have initials in their names

  You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football

  The most risqué movie you have ever seen was Titanic

  You watch the X-Files at a friend?s house

  You refer to books by their color rather than their title

  The only (non-JW) paintings you have in your house are by Thomas Kinkade

  You?ve only heard of Saturday Morning Cartoons

  You are told that the benefit of completing your homework on time is so you have enough time to study.

  You almost recited a bible verse into a microphone when you did karaoke for the first time

  You never did holiday decorations in school

  You were intrigued by the similarities in 1984 / Brave New World / Fahrenheit 451 when you had to read them in high school

  Your father is the only guy you know who underlines Sports Illustrated

  You listen in Van Morrison not just because you like his music

  You only like Prince?s recent stuff

  Even though you don?t like tennis you have no problem watching it when two black chicks in matching outfits play

  Your school reports all referenced the Awake!
• 

  Big Dog

  When you buy a car based on its utility for field service.

  When you have plaid suits.

  When you are a janitor and own a briefcase.

  When you know what passing the mike means.
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  zman

  ROFLMAO
• 

  the_classicist

  You watch the X-Files at a friend?s house

  I remember this one: the X-Files is SATANIC!!! AND DEMONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Of course, I had a TV in my room, so I watched whatever I damn well pleased.
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  Dragonlady76

  LMFAO!

  Dragonlady76
• 

  candidlynuts

  you know your a jw when...

  you hope you get the flu so you can miss a few meetings.

  your the only women in town who still wear pantyhose and skirts past the knees.

  you think your husband is your link between you and God.

  you teach your children about a lion roaming the earth seeking to devour them.

  you know all of dairy queens morning employees by name.
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  Big Dog

  When you know that FDS doesn't only mean Feminine Deodorant Spray.

  When GB doesn't mean Green Bay Packers.

  When Last Days doesn't mean the end of a great sale.

  When Other Sheep doesn't refer to cloning.

  When Field Service doesn't have anything to do with the Army.
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  JustTickledPink

  When you wear too much makeup and instead of being likened to Madonna your mother calls you "Jezebel"
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  Poztate

  Your father is the only guy you know who underlines Sports Illustrated
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  dh

  You feel guilty for enjoying yourself.