Cognitive dissonance becomes a lifestyle
You know you're a JW when....
by Preston 39 Replies latest social humour
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Tosefos
....a `bad trip` is going to the convention and missing out on getting ur copy of the new literature.
....you learn how to perfectly navigate whilst staring exclusively at the pavement.
....you over hear mormons giggling at how uncool you are.
....the majority of questions put to you regard blood transusions.
....hearing the kingdom song "life without end at last..." chokes you up.
....sentences like "hi, we're just coming around today offering watchtower and awake.." have lost all meaning, like when you repeat one word ad nauseum.
....you develop a fear of every living non jw thing, from a barking dog to a `venemous` youth.
....the whole congregation is abuzz when they learn that you will use your genius to become a window cleaner.
....you refuse a sweet because it comes from a promotional pack with a picture of a devil on it. similairly you dont watch casper because it might "let bad spirits into the house"
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dannyboy
...You never think electronics when you hear "Circuit"
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AK - Jeff
..you know every house on every street even with your eyes closed
..your parties are called 'get togethers'
..you are seen at 4 PM on Sunday in a local restuarant with your bookbag you brought in by accident
.. you watch "The 10 Commandments" to see what errors are made in the script
.. the Posiedon Adventure seems prophetic of the tribulation to you
.. your family vacations include a tour of a large printing facilty in Brooklyn
.. you have twelve highlighters in your desk
.. you have no idea in what month Mother's day or Father's day is celebrated
Jeff
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Undecided
When you worship 12 old dumb farts in brooklyn.
Ken P.
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RichieRich
- although you don't have fear of men, you are scared that they can spoil your useful habits - you only own suits and pajamas - you can only buy candy AFTER the holiday - everytime you do something stupid, you have to talk to 3 old guys about it - you are scared to use the internet - every paper you ever wrote in english somehow related to the bible or that other crap - your mother is so crazy, that all the other crazy moms look up to her - you give something besides money to all the drive through people - you and your friends walk into a fast food restraunt dressed in formal attire - you celebrate a jewish guys death (and your not a Nazi)
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xjw_b12
your mother is so crazy, that all the other crazy moms look up to her - you and your friends walk into a fast food restraunt dressed in formal attire - you celebrate a jewish guys death (and your not a Nazi)
Welcome RichieRich. Are you actually 16? Pretty sardonic sense of humour for a 16 yr old
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Gill
You only care what other people might think and forget to do any thinking yourself!
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upside/down
You have a resident vegan - because we won't eat meat in the NS. NOT FOR HEALTH REASONS
You have a resident "allergic to life" person (usually sits in back room with lights off- fluorescent lights kill!)
You have the resident ADD/ADHD "addict" that constantly reminds you that the reason they are such an ass is the ADD/ADHD that you can't possibly understand because people with ADD/ADHD are..........
Most everyone you know ISN'T an alcoholic but knows plenty of bro's and sis' that are.
You find out most "elders" have at some point in their perfect appearing Dub lives, have cheated on their spouses.
You know what an "elderette" is- and it ain't no mint.
All husbands are assholes, because they don't imitate Christ and let their wives spend as much as they want.
CO doesn't mean commanding officer.
You get shunned and didn't do anything buy ask "Why?"
PG- means Pure Garbage
Saturday FS is code for lets pretend we're preaching and go "do" breakfast instead.
u/d
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catchthis
...you are in school and the other kids look at you funny when you speak of historical years in terms of C.E. and B.C.E instead of B.C. or A.D.
...your boss threatens to fire you for not putting up the holiday decorations in the store or office.
...you're the only one that leaves the classroom at the teacher's request while the flag salute or national anthem is played over the intercom.
...you get really bummed out for 'losing your privileges.'
...you manage to attend the Sunday morning meeting even though you are still hung-over but want to appear outwardly spiritual to the rest of the congregation.
...you refuse to donate a dollar or two into the company's bulk lottery ticket purchase, but will happily join in on the March Madness basketball pool.
...you see pictures of a burnt down church in the newspaper or on the TV and say to yourself that 'it was bound to happen pretty soon anyway.'
...your worldly relatives don't speak to you very much while you are a witness because they think you are a loony, but as soon as you are df'd or da'd, they call you every other day for no apparent reason other than just to talk.
...a kid from school who is the main bully picks you as his next victim and you literally take your jw parent's advice and let him beat the crap out of you without fighting back.
...you wonder why you've never received a jury duty notice and then one day figure out that only people who register to vote get them.