by gumby 74 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Nancy Drake my little sheep,So, am I being ousted from the church of Gumby on account of my nyphomania? Funny thing, my boyfriend never considered this unfortunate condition a "disability."How did I know you'd have something to say about the male testicles? Did you hear anything else I said? Perhaps you need two cold showers.
(BTW, Please withdraw your member my membership.)
Youv'e got to admit there is something funny about a Jewish god hating flat noses.
Pete, you mock the Lord? You ever seen Barry Manilow? Noses could be big and round.......just so they weren't flat against the face with no protrusion. Jerry Seinfeld has the nose the Lord likes.
Robyn,
After we get back from the spa, would you do Sister Scully
Ok....I have had it you! Get the hell out of here right now......and don't come back till you've washed your mind out with soap!
Rev Gumby
Reverend Gumby:
Sister Robyn and sister Scully,
You two just go right ahead and continue to live out your remaining days in your sickening hedonistic selfish ways. Don't think for one minute your getting your facial, massage, manicure, and waxing will save you at judgement day. Your hearts and minds are blemished and all the cover-ups, make-ups, etc., will never hide your evil intentions from the Lord. Such a shame to lose two fine sisters with beautiful
buttshearts.Rev Gumby
Sister Robyn, the vestal virgins and I only wish to serve you and the Lord with perfection and beauty. The Lord created us perfect and we must remain perfect in order to remain in the service of our beloved Rev Gumby. Is it our fault that spa days are expensive?? The spa uses only natural products created by the hands of the Lord himself, so Rev Gumby, the money is going back to the Lord, really. How can you deny us the pleasure of serving you using the Lord's all-natural products that have a money-back guarantee?
Our only wish is to serve Rev Gumby.
PS - The people at the spa want you to come and minister to them in their hot tub. The champagne and caviar is complimentary. The sushi is good too, but it gives Sister Robyn gas... which is kinda funny in the hot tub.
but it gives Sister Robyn gas... which is kinda funny in the hot tub.
Robyn *maker of her own bubbles class*
Hey Rev, don't forget our tee off time! We can praise the Lord while we're walking his beautiful landscape.
Golf
Sister Robyn
Fortunately, lacking intestinal fortitude is not something repugnant to the Lord. He appreciates those "restful odors".
Anyway, it's all good. I brought some Bean-O for you. Let's have SUSHI!!!!!
So.. are you saying all I have to do is whack off the tip of my nose and I don't have to be a "collection plate attendant" anymore?
You could whack off the tip of anything you got and that should get you out of collection plate duties.
You could whack off the tip of anything you got and that should get you out of collection plate duties.
Poztate my son, Almost Atheist can whack whatever he wants......but with his name, it won't get him out of hell. The ONLY thing the Lord appreciates being whacked off is the foreskin and I doubt he's willing to go that far to redeem himself.
Btw.....would you be intrested in his job?
Rev Gumby
