by gumby 74 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Gumby:
If I ever reach a point where I think the quality of my life is not and will never be what I would wish, then I will take my own life. If I am physicaly unable I will ask someone I love and trust to do the job.
What is important is the individual making his own choice. It is morally wrong to force someone to die against their will. It is equally immoral to force someone to live against their will.
I';ve never seen your feet Brenda and actually have no intrest in seeing them. Why wood eye?.....speakin of woodeyes, I hope you don't have one. You can park where ever the hell you want....we have a big lot here.......all I'm saying is, don't offer the Lord anything while your here if your blemished as decribed in his Holy Word. He wrote it....I just deliver his mail.
Rev
No one with crushed testicles could serve as a Priest in ancient Israel.
If Jehovah violates the Americans with Disabilities Act why can't we?
Dear Rev. Gumby:
Though I enjoyed your sermon you did not claify what counts as a "blemish". I have a pretty heinous cold sore on my lower lip. Will this prevent me from attending further meetings? When my cold sore heals...will I be accepted back within the fold? I am so confused. Please don't abandon me in my hour of need.
Cathy L.
Brother Poztate has a nice nose when his finger isn't in during services.
I did that for so long one of my fingers fell off...had to quit..
Sister Hadenuf .....the rumors are going around you never had enuf when you were a young lady. It could be a rumor, but just in case.....you may wish to ponder this scripture since you have 5 children attending here, most of who are on the baseball team.
Lev 21:13 " 'The woman he marries must be a virgin. 14 He must not marry a widow, a divorced woman, or a woman defiled by prostitution, but only a virgin from his own people, 15 so he will not defile his offspring among his people. I am the LORD , who makes him holy. [ d ] ' "
I hope you were a virgin when you married sister....we can't have a defiled baseball team.
As for you cold sore....it might be best for you to skip the emblems till your herpes disappears. You could be waiting awhile. Notice the scripture below:
17 "Say to Aaron: 'For the generations to come none of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. 18 No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; 19 no man with a crippled foot or hand, 20 or who is hunchbacked or dwarfed, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles. 21 No descendant of Aaron the priest who has any defect is to come near to present the offerings made to the LORD by fire. He has a defect; he must not come near to offer the food of his God."
So there you have it sister. You can do as you wish anywhere else.....just don't do it where the Lord is present or you'll "desecrate him"
Rev Gumby
(Sistuh Sunny peeks in, sees the service is STILL going strong, takes another drag on her pipe and ambles out)
Fay's Litter
Of Fay's eight, I have been able to follow the progress of all but one (Number Nine died soon after birth). Blaise, bless his heart, was taken by a man who called himself Reverend Gumby. According to the breeder, Virginia, the Reverend's check bounced and he left town with neither forwarding address nor congregation. We only hope that Blaise is happy and well cared for. Perhaps he is a minister now too.
Hey, Rev.............they're climaxing in Revelation next door...........you should check it out, it's quite interesting!
Well, amble on over here, Sistah S, and I'll refill that pipe for you. You might be waiting a while. Care for a tea?
