need to vent - just got off phone with mom (page 4)

jaredg

shania...thank you so much for the idea to send flowers to my mom. i'm going to have them sent to her on thursday.

Shania

That will melt her heart Jared. Just keep being sweet to her because no matter what your her son.

and the questions to ask if the right time ever comes.... So you really think it is better to lie when Jehovah is listening? What kind of religion supports dishonesty? (okay so we all know the answer to this...but...if it inspired thought??)

jeanniebeanz

I'm very sorry you are going through this. I've completely lost my parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. Hope it works out differently for you.

J

24k

Hang in there jardg!

I'm not saying that your mother is a manipulator, I'm sure she loves you deeply, but this is classic manipulation behavior. Trying to change a person's actions and beliefs through guilt and the withholding of affection is the definition of manipulation. It is also how the Watchtower portrays God, and so it is no surprise that Watchtower adherents have no qualms about treating those they love in this fashion. It will be an uphill battle for you, but one worth fighting. With God's help, and your continued love and kindness, you might be surprised at what transpires. Just seeing you lead a happy, fulfilling life outside the Watchtower says more than any amount of arguing or reasoning could.

Christian Love,

Kirk

jschwehm

Hi Jardg:

Remember "To Thine Own Self Be True!!!!"

Even though it is hard right now, in the future you will not regret it.

When I told my folks that I was leaving the JWs, they said that it would be "hard for them to have a relationship with me". At first things were rather uncomfortable.

However, over the past couple of years my JW parents have lightened up significantly.

My wife and I have been out of the JWs for going on 10 years now. While we are not very close with my folks we are certainly able to communicate with them readily and they even come a visit us from time to time.

I really think in time your Mom and Dad will lighten up too.

Jeff Schwehm

www.catholicxjw.com

heatherg

Hi jared, keep up with your mom, let her know that she means the world to you, but that you have your life to live. If you keep up with her she'll most likely come around.

I gave up on my parents, and now I regret it. Haven't had a normal or decent conversation with them in 4 yrs. I miss it, plus they don't get to see their grandkids either, which gyps both kids and grandparents. So don't give up!!!!
Lots of hugs! Heatherg

AMNESIAN

Jared,

Your post reminds me of one I've had in mind for a while now to prepare but have thus far procrastinated.

In the meantime, allow me to say briefly that willyloman's experience is nowhere near as rare as you might suppose among those of us longtime JWs who devoutly reared our children in the "truth."

Based on your age and your experience, your conversation with your mom and the mutual love/torment the two of you are obviously experiencing, I could be your mom; you could be my son...of a few years ago.

In 2001, though, to everyone's shock and utter horror, I snapped out of it, came to my senses, acted on doubts I'd long suppressed. I walked away from my last meeting at a KH after some 29 years as an extremely believing, extremely active and "regular," "exemplary" JW spouse and parent---something neither my husband (still a perfunctorily-active-but-much-less-believing JW), nor my beloved son, nor I could ever have imagined could occur under any possible circumstances.

Despite the nearly-unbearable past we both suffered as a result of WTS dictates, today my son and I have recovered our relationship, now with the added bonus of a wonderful and cherished daughter-in-law, something I'd begun to fear would be lost forever unless, as I cried heartbrokenly to him on more than one occasion, he pursue "reinstatement" and "returned to Jehovah."

Moral to the story, son: Never, ever give up hope and never, ever stop expressing your love to your parents. There are so many of us achingly regretful parents who are more grateful than mere words can express to have the forgiveness of our children for having been so misguided for so long.

AMNESIAN

Honesty

i'll just love bomb them and see how that goes.

Jaredg, that is the best thing for her and you. My situation is reversed. I'm DA'd and my son is 8 and a loyal dub prospect. His mother influences him as bad as the Jw dogma. Never give up hope because eventually she will respond in a positive way to the love bombing and maybe start thinking how screwed up and so contrary to Jesus' teachings the GB and WTBTS are.

mkr32208

Hey here's an idea! Get someone to go with you (armed with a camera and the current newspaper) go to a out of area assembly were no one will know you sit in the babtism area and strike up a conversation with someone near you get his name and congregation the make sure your ahead of him in the dipping line when they ask your name and cong. give his make sure that your friend gets a pic of you being dipped with the newspaper date shown in the pic...! Presto chango your reinstated! My understanind is that these wach-o's believe that the ceremony actually results in forgiveness...

Heck it would at least be good for a laugh!

need to vent - just got off phone with mom