A Plain Rebel!

Golf

I often share the experiences I read on this forum with my wife. Every time I leave this forum, I just shake my head in disbelief. I ask, don't these people have a will and life of their own? Apparently not. She says, the reason your different is because your a 'rebel.' Your attitude is, "People don't put food on my table" so why should I allow their opinion to control me. Yes, I don't go with the flow. This attitude gives me free will & choice.

People would have us believe and do what they think what is best for us, hogwash! I don't think I'm a rebel, just a person that likes to do his thing. Like golf, it has boundaries, likewise with my life, but the difference is, I play MY game. That my friend is the key.

Golf

under74

I ask, don't these people have a will and life of their own? Apparently not.

mmm...I need some clarification here...what/who are you speaking of?

But don't you think that most people (at least Americans) like to see themselves as "rebels" or "playing their own game?" Just because you think it doesn't make it true...we all conform. Or are you talking about people that crave playing the victim?

I guess the statement is somewhat broad and so I'm not able to put it into the proper context....could you go a little further with this? I am interested.

Golf

under74, allowing themselves to be controlled. They don't have the freedom to speak out against controllers in the congregations, tell them where to go. What can an elder do to you if you tell him where to go? Expell you? Hardly. believe me, when you tell them where to go, the complexion of the game changes.

This also applies to everyday life. If you don't tell people where stand on issues they'll take advantage of you. People complain to me about so and so doing this and that to them, I say, tell them how you feel and what you think, but no, their to timid and they clam up. I could tell you some interesting stories.

Golf

under74

OHH, okay. I gotcha and understand perfectly now. On the first post I wasn't sure if you were talking about JWs or the people on JWD.

Anyway, I'm with ya.

jula71

A rebel with a cause.

Golf

Jula71

Amazing how people will label you because you don't follow 'their' directives, and if you don't share or agree with their opinions, hogwash!

I've always encouraged to people to follow their dreams. Today couple of these guys (not witnesses) are millionaires! I remember them when they were peanuts in the business world, but not today. Most people will not become millionaire's but you can accomplish goals by believing in yourself and by doing something about it.

Golf

tijkmo

i think a lot has to do with how long you have been influenced by what you believed...you may always have been a rebel but many do not have the personality or strength to go against the flow..esp if they have been told not to for so long..

i was thinking that many jws are like the relatives of a rich uncle...they are in line to receive a huge reward when he dies...so they put up with all his nonsense even when its directed at them for fear of being removed from the will and they justify it by saying it will only be for a short time....for me it wasnt like that....i loved the uncle, he was always good to me, we were buddies, so i didnt want him to die...but then he did something so cruel to me that i no longer wanted to spend time in his company anymore and im not going to pretend so that i get some money when he dies cos i didnt like him for his money anyway so he can stuff if

Golf

tijk, I get your drift, but experience has taught me not to set my hopes on what people promise. When I don't expect things from people, I don't get disappointed.

I've come to expect and listen to problems for the rest of my life. So, I handle them as they come along and live my life accordingly.

People will always think of you in a certain way, be it negative or positive. There's is no way in the world your going to please everyone, no way!

Golf

talesin

I had a boyfriend at one point who told me,

"You will never get anything you want unless you learn to ask for it."

At first I didn't get it. Ask for what I want? What a concept! He was concerned because I asked for so little. He said to tell people what I wanted, instead of hiding in the background and taking what I got.

I was a 'pleaser', a goody-two shoes. And do you know what I discovered? People don't trust you if you are a goody-two shoes. Because it's emotionally dishonest. Pleasers think things like, "I was so nice to soandso, why don't they like me?" Being 'nice' to people, or going along with the status quo so they will like you is passive-aggressive at its worst (or best, depending on your POV).

It wasn't easy to take that particular look in the mirror! All those years I had thought being 'nice', not making waves, was a good thing.

Don't be afraid! The most important friendship we have is with ourselves. Being emotionally honest has helped me discover who I really am. Not always being the nice girl is quite a relief, to tell you the truth. I have more friends, and get more respect just generally speaking. I'm still a kind, thoughtful person, I'm just no longer a carpet.

Step out there, say 'this is what I want'. If you don't reach for what you want, it's guaranteed that you won't get it.

t

rebel8

Given what my user ID on this forum is, I just have to comment on this thread!

My user ID is how I felt about the dubs. When I was in the b0rg, I never broke any of the major rules except independent thinking, and even that was secret. I did get counseled for a few idiotic things like wearing black pantyhose with a red skirt for "looking slutty", but even that was minor in their eyes. (Of course it was ugly and in bad taste, but hey, I was a teen back then. I forgive myself for that fashion faux pas.)

...but I always felt a budding sense of rebellion toward the entire religion and the lifestyle. I felt like it was too controlling...preventing and coercing people into "correct" behavior is wrong and doesn't do anything to change their hearts...if there is a God, I believe he/she would be looking at people's hearts as well as their actions, not actions only. Having an aversion to high control groups (cults) is not rebellion in reality, only in jw ideology.

So then when I joined ex-jw forums, the word that came to mind was "rebel".

A Plain Rebel!

Share this