BD
I'm really hearing what you're saying, and it's causing a visceral reaction ... a need to put into words ... the thing you are getting at ...
It's almost a feral thing ... a need to have one's tribe, one's family, so to speak ... so it is a matter of rising above this instinctive need to belong ... and finding a new tribe ... a need to survive and yes, thrive, in spite of this huge hole in your spirit that will not be filled until you find your place ... because you have been cast out from the only family you know ...
I know that's not too coherent, it's stream of consciousness writing, but feel free to discuss, pick apart, etc.
tal