Ex elders, have you apologized to anyone you df'd?

by avishai 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • avishai
    avishai

    For instance, especially kids under the age of eighteen, or dfing folks for questioning the society? I think if i had been involved, I'd have to get on the horn with everyone I'd df'd. Except the child molesters

  • Evanescence
    Evanescence

    Good question but no responce....

  • Rod P
    Rod P

    Well, Yes! They have some answering to do, don't they?????

    Where is everyone one on this one?????

  • Golf
    Golf

    Never did, I didn't believe in it. No need for me to apologize. As to Pedophiles, they are murderers.


    Golf

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    I was never an Elder,but my evidence against someone Smoking resulted in their Disfellowshipping...He is still out and happy but i felt the need to make my peace with him very recently.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    this is a good question and due to the way i was treated i have often thought about the way i dealt with others...

    i can remember all the cases i was involved in...and i can honestly say that no-one i dealt with expects an apology off of me

    but thats because i saw the nessecity to help before taking action..never did i allow a df-ing to take place on the first time we ever met with someone..and sometimes that meant over-ruling the other members of a commitee..on one occasion the other 2 members wanted to df the girl because they didnt like her dad

    all of the people i was involved with will still speak to me if we meet

    i can think of one occasion though that the boy was df...i was a new elder on a commitee of 4..and the boy would have his girlfriend stay in the same house as him which was a student residence full of people..he swore that when she did stay she had the bed and he had the couch and that it only happened on the rare occasions when there was no transport available..he was told that even so jw rule was that they mustnt stay in house (not even same room) together overnight and he was given a number of occasions leeway...fact is though he still denied anything went on and there was no evidence that there was..but we df him anyway...he never came back

    but if i met him now i would apologize

    a later elders book changed the rule

    last week the elders on my j/c were told by other elders that the way they treated me was still affecting me even now 3 years on and that a simple recognition of the fact that they handled the case poorly and made mistakes may make all the difference to me...they replied that they didnt have anything to apologize for...

    words cannot describe the depth of my contempt for them

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    words cannot describe the depth of my contempt for them

    Thats a tough break for you Ian.It sounds like the other Body were a little more Reasonable and understanding.

    The cruelty and mental anguish some Elders are guilty of is breathtaking.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    fleaman..yes the elders in most recent cong have been reasonable with me....but there are others in this kh that have the same beef with them...esp over their handling of a recent child molester

    but as i said to them this week...your argument that those elders are in the wrong and that they are just 3 among 1000s is not a good one since on the basis of their wrong decision you treated me the same way...everyone did...since they were too scared to say or do anything against the decision for fear of reprisals..and the fact is they are no longer willing to put matters right because im not going to meetings anymore even though they know the reason im not going is because of the way i was treated

    told them that it is the most stupid arrangement i know of and because of that it cant possibly be from a god of love and justice

    at the end of the day they have agreed to leave me alone and ultimately i guess that is what i wanted.. it is just so sad that they werent prepared to try and do the right thng

    good on you for apologizing to your guy btw

  • JT
    JT

    wish that i could--- the dfing process is a joke

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/4114/1.ashx

    PANITES OR THONGS

    I thought the name of this thread was so on time for this thread demostrates one of the sad things about claiming to speak for god, when one actually does not.

    when i was a newly appointed elder at the tender age of 27

    i was introduced to the world of the JUDICAL COMMITTEE.

    It was in fact my first case. i had gotten a call from the

    what type of case would it be and would i be selected to serve on it since i was a new elder or would i be told next you can serve.

    right after the prayer we quickly entered the 2nd school. and there we sat, the po annouced that he had been approached by a single sister who stated she had sexual relationship with a man on her job and this would require the formation of a judical committe.

    i recall so well that one bro almost jumped out of his seat to volunteer stating that since she was in his bookstudy he felt that he would be in a good position to serve.

    the po stated he would be out of town so he could not do it this weekend and it needed to be handle quickly cause it was publicly known on her job

    - the guy got the sister stuff and-went bragging about bagging a JW-

    so another bro was recommended and then the po said let James serve it will be good exp. we got 2 exp elders already.

    so the time was arranged for sat at 2pm at the hall to meet with her but we would meet at 1:30pm to review the flockbook

    well i was up late friday night reviewing the flockbook on how i could be a loving shepard for this dear sister who had been swallowed up by this worldly man - a tool of satan_

    then the time came she walked into the room and i had known her for a number of years and my wife and her were good friends so the embarrassment on her face was so telling

    after a prayer the chairman explained a few ground rules no tape recorders , etc

    then she was asked to tell us what happened

    when she finished --the woman was shaking and eyes just full of water

    then the questioning began

    at first the question were basic one that i thought sounded reasonable, but in just a few min i realized why the bookstudy conductor wanted to serve on her case

    i found out later that he was interested in her yrs ago, but she wasn't

    he married and his wife was one of those big black sisters who was good in field service , but not much to really look at

    while this sister kinda put in mind of a Venessa Williams type to put in plainly she was a nice looking sister i won't lie

    but the questions took a wild left hand turn, he started and the other bro would followup it was like machine gun questions

    Who was on top
    Did he Climax
    was there oral or any anal

    and on an on it went
    and yes the famous question:

    "Were you wearing Panites or Thongs?"

    i could see that she was starting to lose it and she just brokedown into tears- so she was excused to go to the bathroom

    while she was out it was explained to me as a new elder that such questions were NEEDED to see if she was consistent in her story and the details- to see if she was truly repentant or was it a practice

    he explained to me that a "Practice" could be considered if the person had sexually intercourse more than once during the night while in the bed with the person- that it was not needed for it to be separate days, but more than once in the same night and it "could be" considered that the person had made it into a "Pratice"

    the TECHNICAL DETAILS that wt gives it's elders are unreal

    such as the difference between

    1. MOMENTARYLY TOUCHING A SISTER'S BREAST

    2. CARRESSING IT-

    oUR WT elders school spent about 25 min in our class explaining the difference between the two and each has it's own
    punishment

    i was told that the Panty-Thong question would reveal

    "INTENT" "Scheming" "planning" etc on the part of the sister

    you see as it was explained to me if she was wearing Bloomers or reg panties then if a claim was made that we got carried away in the heat of the moment then it would be possible

    but if she was wearing "Thongs" then she went to his house with the intent of Giving him Some

    now this is how i was beening groomed and instructed, being a new elder who had never served on any case i didn't know

    these guys were exp elders with yrs of judical cases under thier belt-
    beside these were all Former bethelites like myself so of course the boys from THE HOUSE knew how the judicial meeting was to be handle

    well she came back into the room and sat down and the questions started again in a few min and at this point she refused to answer anymore questions LIKE THAT and she told us she would not answer THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONs

    "Girl Friend" picked up her bag and walked out

    in 5 min we decided that she was "UNREPENTANT" AND DFED HER

    I SWEAR TO GOD i only wish i could find her and tell her how sorry i was for allowing her to literally be ganged raped by those guys

    this system of the WT of having men called Elders with no training FREELY be able to ask any Damn quesiton they want to and the persons is obligated to answer or else be viewed as not working with Jehovah's Organization is a Damn Joke

    I often wonder whatever became of that sister- she attended only about 2or 3 meetings after the annoucement and disappared into thin air

    If you are reading this post and you know who you are

    for i'm in the area of the country

    I beg you to please accept my apology for supporting such a cruel and evil system

    James

  • JT
    JT

    COMPLETE REPOST, THE FIRST ONE LEFT SOME LINES OUT

    ######################### I thought the name of this thread was so on time for this thread demostrates one of the sad things about claiming to speak for god, when one actually does not.

    when i was a newly appointed elder at the tender age of 27

    i was introduced to the world of the JUDICAL COMMITTEE.

    It was in fact my first case. i had gotten a call from the PO before the meeting stating that their would be an elders meetings to discuss some judical matters. i sat thru the meeting thinking and wondering

    what type of case would it be and would i be selected to serve on it since i was a new elder or would i be told next you can serve.

    right after the prayer we quickly entered the 2nd school. and there we sat, the po annouced that he had been approached by a single sister who stated she had sexual relationship with a man on her job and this would require the formation of a judical committe.

    i recall so well that one bro almost jumped out of his seat to volunteer stating that since she was in his bookstudy he felt that he would be in a good position to serve.

    the po stated he would be out of town so he could not do it this weekend and it needed to be handle quickly cause it was publicly known on her job

    - the guy got the sister stuff and-went bragging about bagging a JW-

    so another bro was recommended and then the po said let James serve it will be good exp. we got 2 exp elders already.

    so the time was arranged for sat at 2pm at the hall to meet with her but we would meet at 1:30pm to review the flockbook

    well i was up late friday night reviewing the flockbook on how i could be a loving shepard for this dear sister who had been swallowed up by this worldly man - a tool of satan_

    then the time came she walked into the room and i had known her for a number of years and my wife and her were good friends so the embarrassment on her face was so telling

    after a prayer the chairman explained a few ground rules no tape recorders , etc

    then she was asked to tell us what happened

    when she finished --the woman was shaking and eyes just full of water

    then the questioning began

    at first the question were basic one that i thought sounded reasonable, but in just a few min i realized why the bookstudy conductor wanted to serve on her case

    i found out later that he was interested in her yrs ago, but she wasn't

    he married and his wife was one of those big black sisters who was good in field service , but not much to really look at

    while this sister kinda put in mind of a Venessa Williams type to put in plainly she was a nice looking sister i won't lie

    but the questions took a wild left hand turn, he started and the other bro would followup it was like machine gun questions

    Who was on top
    Did he Climax
    was there oral or any anal

    and on an on it went
    and yes the famous question:

    "Were you wearing Panites or Thongs?"

    i could see that she was starting to lose it and she just brokedown into tears- so she was excused to go to the bathroom

    while she was out it was explained to me as a new elder that such questions were NEEDED to see if she was consistent in her story and the details- to see if she was truly repentant or was it a practice

    he explained to me that a "Practice" could be considered if the person had sexually intercourse more than once during the night while in the bed with the person- that it was not needed for it to be separate days, but more than once in the same night and it "could be" considered that the person had made it into a "Pratice"

    the TECHNICAL DETAILS that wt gives it's elders are unreal

    such as the difference between

    1. MOMENTARYLY TOUCHING A SISTER'S BREAST

    2. CARRESSING IT-

    oUR WT elders school spent about 25 min in our class explaining the difference between the two and each has it's own
    punishment

    i was told that the Panty-Thong question would reveal

    "INTENT" "Scheming" "planning" etc on the part of the sister

    you see as it was explained to me if she was wearing Bloomers or reg panties then if a claim was made that we got carried away in the heat of the moment then it would be possible

    but if she was wearing "Thongs" then she went to his house with the intent of Giving him Some

    now this is how i was beening groomed and instructed, being a new elder who had never served on any case i didn't know

    these guys were exp elders with yrs of judical cases under thier belt-
    beside these were all Former bethelites like myself so of course the boys from THE HOUSE knew how the judicial meeting was to be handle

    well she came back into the room and sat down and the questions started again in a few min and at this point she refused to answer anymore questions LIKE THAT and she told us she would not answer THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONs

    "Girl Friend" picked up her bag and walked out

    in 5 min we decided that she was "UNREPENTANT" AND DFED HER

    I SWEAR TO GOD i only wish i could find her and tell her how sorry i was for allowing her to literally be ganged raped by those guys

    this system of the WT of having men called Elders with no training FREELY be able to ask any Damn quesiton they want to and the persons is obligated to answer or else be viewed as not working with Jehovah's Organization is a Damn Joke

    I often wonder whatever became of that sister- she attended only about 2or 3 meetings after the annoucement and disappared into thin air

    If you are reading this post and you know who you are

    for i'm in the Washington DC area of the country

    I beg you to please accept my apology for supporting such a cruel and evil system

    James

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