Ex elders, have you apologized to anyone you df'd?

by avishai 48 Replies latest jw friends

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  DannyHaszard

  I have informed the WT legal dept as a condition for cooling my jets the flunkys who wrongfully booted me must be DF.

  Any who are still alive are in deep shit.
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  BluesBrother

  Where are you gong to find them now? The experiences may go back 30 years and I spent most of my years in a totally different area. Most of the d/f'd were young people who moved on anyway.

  Apart from the family shunning, they are better off out of it. If their families shun them, then it is those still inside that are the victims...
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  avishai

  Most of the d/f'd were young people who moved on anyway.

  How do you know they've "moved on"? No disrespect intended, but after reading this site for as long as you have, I'm sure you know that the scars are still there.................
• 

  Angry

  How do I get ahold of the legal department in N.Y.? That explains why my dad was in a hury for me to sign some kind of paper work stating that I did not want to be a J.w. My husband flew off the handle and cussed my dad and told him he was crazy if he thought I was going to sign anything that dumb.
• 

  jst2laws

  Avishai,

  For instance, especially kids under the age of eighteen, or dfing folks for questioning the society? I think if i had been involved, I'd have to get on the horn with everyone I'd df'd.

  Yes, those that I know I have harmed I have tried. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/64881/1.ashx and sometimes failed http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/64927/1.ashx

  (I would like to clarify, however, I was one of those maverik elders that stretched the WT rules and tried to avoid harsh action)

  Rebel8,

  I'm busy throwing up at the thought of a bunch of untrained, incompetent, arrogant elders trying to get their kicks by interrogating who asked for spiritual counseling.

  You have accurately described the average JW elder. I can only try and imagine what you went through that is behind the pain you are yet experiencing. However, many here have dealt with at least one elder who really cared. Of the last body of elders which I was a part there were four out of about twelve. Obviously this type person does not last indiffinitely as an elder. Many become JWD posters. Jst2laws
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  DannyHaszard

  Legal Issues: Certified letter sent to Watchtower Legal desk
• 

  JAVA

  I was on a committee that df'd a sister who confessed to having oral sex with her spouse. She said she liked it, her spouse liked it, and it was good for their marriage. As a committee we had no option (the Tower was clear about it at that time) and she was df'd.
  
  A few years later she was reinstated, and her spouse was baptized, too. I told them I was sorry about the whole affair because the Society had backed off on the issue at that time. As good little JWs, they said it was alright, etc. I knew it wasn't "alright," and tried to apologize for our action and for the Tower's flip-flop.
  
  That was over 30 years ago, and I have no idea where this couple is today. I hope they're no longer JWs, and are enjoying a normal relationship.
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  Dismembered

  Dear JT

  Your honesty in this post is astounding. It's more than likely just the tip of the iceberg. At the risk of sounding redundant the "elders arrangement" should be disbanded & outlawed.

  Dismembered

  "Elders Sucks"
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  JT

  hey

  just trying to keep it real folks , the elder arrangement is a job, mainly due to the fact that most elders are completely unqualified to do what they are called up by the wt to do-

  the depth of jw personal life that elders have access to is unreal- they go well beyond just a friend helping help, they go to the very heart and soul of folks
• 

  blondie

  Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

  Step 9. - Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

  Some of you will find these familiar. They are steps 8 and 9 of a 12-step program, alcohol, drugs, etc.

  Remember this when it comes to making amends, that the RESTORED FAITH, of those about us most affected by our alcoholism, will come to pass as the result of our LIVING the Steps in all our affairs, and will be worth much more than all the words of amends we can express.

  Remember also that the way we make amends to society and those we may never be able to contact is by staying sober a day at a time, practicing all the steps in all our life's affairs, continuing to help one another, doing all things out of LOVE.

  http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaonsteps89.html

  So while elders (and any of us who participated in bringing people into the organization, directly or indirectly) need to make amends, so do we all; but in a way that does not harm ourselves or others.

  Love Blondie (married to an elder, related to 10 elders, not all assholes)