by ScoobySnax 43 Replies latest jw friends
Hmmm KLS....... I just don't feel as angry as you do about my past, believe it or not, I can still draw a good many things out of my JW experience. But thats just me.
Satunus......Life is always full of Ifs and Buts and ands........it still doesn't become any clearer, or provide a crystal answer!!
Scoob
good post Dave.......Thanks. I agree with many of your points.
Scott
Hmmm KLS....... I just don't feel as angry as you do about my past, believe it or not, I can still draw a good many things out of my JW experience. But thats just me
Scoob , that is a healthy way to be . I may now have the hate as much if i was not married to a jw but i am so i don't know how not to hate them . Hate is something they taught me because i chose to leave the cult and my husband taught me to hate them by the way he treated me .
Good for you Scoob
Thanks Scooby (Scott), I just never thought you would agree on anything I said.
Dave
Life is always full of Ifs and Buts and ands........it still doesn't become any clearer, or provide a crystal answer!!
No, but you seem to be stuck in a 'if only' loop. The wt and watchtowerites will not change. They are thoroughly indoctrinated. I know it's hard to accept that, but it's true. Only you can pop the bubble/loop in which you seem to be stuck.
Or maybe you imagine yourself still controlled by the wt strings. But, they don't want you. They have dropped the strings. You are not acceptable material for them. Most of us are in a similar position. We are not of their sort, as their phrase goes.
S
Scooby, for me I hate the religion and despise the wbts and its leaders.
There are those jw's that are so hateful towards me, that they deserve no respect or good feelings from me.
There are those that say to my children, "we miss your dad, he was one of the good elders".
Yet if they see me, they will act is if I no longer exist and/or I am too evil to speak to or smile at.
They also deserve no respect or good feelings from me.
For me they receive what they sow. Ignore me and you no longer exist.
Point at me and laugh or whisper and you get pointed out and laughed at and whispered about.
Smile at me and I smile back. Say hello to me and say hello to you.
Outoftheorg of the mirror class
OutoftheOrg.......I'd still smile at you
Scoob
Yeah, I hated door-to-door too. And yet I'm a good explainer and a natural extrovert. It really sucks, though, watching people sign their own death warrants by turning you down! And I put up with that for twenty freaking years! What was I thinking? Oh, yeah, I wasn't.
No, I'm being too harsh with myself (and by extension with all my fellow spiritual captives). I really believed the hype, that this was a life-saving work and all that. Just made it more painful. It didn't help to be told "They're not rejecting you, they're rejecting Jehovah." That made it a thousand times worse! I knew that nobody was obligated to accept me; but who wants to spend a thousand or so Saturday mornings watching nice people turn themselves into vulture food? Worst experience I ever had in that line was the day I called on an artist at her house. She let me go through my entire presentation, which included Rev. 11:18. Not only that she showed us a bunch of her gorgeous artwork - and then she turned us down. Just about broke my heart. I had to repeat to myself, mantra-fashion, that "no one will die who does not richly deserve it," but things were never quite the same for me afterwards.
The other thing that stuck in my craw was all the damn barbed wire around the Golden Rule . If I was supposed to "Do to others as I would have them do to me," why couldn't I give to charity, donate blood, or make friends with my worldly neighbors? Why couldn't I have intellectual and artistic freedom, and why did I have to look down on others for exercising theirs?
As a child and a teen, I was shy and kept to myself. Would that still be the case if the jaydubs hadn't f*cked me over, or would I have outgrown it long ago?
Yes, I've been out for ten years and I'm still angry, because I am still working on reclaiming all the gifts of humanity that they stole from me.
That I let them steal from me.
gently f eral
Sorry Scoob but you don't count.
You are already df'd if I recall correctly, so you are in the same box as me.
Outoftheorg
My struggle w tuth is minimal, now.
S
