Your Struggle in the Truth....... (page 4)

ScoobySnax

OutoftheOrg.......not d/f of d/a ....just me.

and still Smiling

Scoob

littlerockguy

mine was for my sexuality also; knowing I wouldn't be accepted if they knew whether I acted on it or not; why embrace something that doesn't embrace you back

Witnesses sruggle for the same reason other religious(christian based) people do. They are told they are imperfect humans, that Jehovah forgives ( or christs blood atones for sins), yet they continue to feel guilt and shame for acting human and having/making mistakes according to the particular theology they subscribe to. If they believe the Lord is really forgiving.....why do so many feel unworthy of his love?

Gumby

Whiskeyjack

For me, it was the dysfunctionalism I observed as a young person. A a former "lifer" I decided if I couldn't be reasonably honest (I depise double lifers and had seen what happened to honest kids in the pre-committee dance), what was the point? Also, the point of GB "infallibility" stuck in my craw with no honest debate allowed.

This was without knowing half of the bizarre and humorous history of my own organization!

W.

tetrapod.sapien

mine was intellectual materialism. i wanted to travel with my mind. i wanted knowlege. as in i wanted to learn everything about the world and nature, and keep learning for as long as i lived. i just could not find a lot of others like me. not that they didn't exist, but i think that, like me, they were under the thumb of fear. fear of thinking outside of the box. of not being tied down to a certain dogma, but being open to new data and evidence. not having many friends was not an issue. but learning slowly over the years that one of the greatest sins to them (if not the unforgiveable one) is thinking in a non sanctioned way. questioning things. being curious. being open. these were sins! it took me years to realize i was struggling with this hypocrisy.

ivy

It isn't easy to put my finger on, but it had something to do with my sense of justice. I didn't see justice being done. Not in the bible, not in the kingdom hall. I couldn't reconcile with it.

benito

I felt the same than tetrapod. I always wante to learn, to study, to develop my mind. There are many subjects I was interested in: History, Psychology, Literature, Mathematics,.... And i was supposed to devote my time to study Watchtower literature. It wasn't enough for me and I felt guilty everytime I read any book not related to JWs. I remember the first feeling I had when I stopped attending meetings is the freedom of thinking I had, I could think whatever I like without feeling the guiltiness for it. I plunged into my studies and I am about to finish my degree (Oooh, I should be studying for my exams).

Gill

I feel like I've lost a large part of my life. My struggle in the troof was that I had a very good mind and wanted to study and study and study at school and go on and on studying..... But I was constantly intimidated and bullied out of studying by parents, other JW peers, elders etc. My mum with think nothing of grabbing my books and beating me about the head with my homework. I hated being sneered at and the comments from fellow JW youngsters. I was weak and gave in. Luckily I married a wonderful man who has tolerated BOOKS EVERYWHERE!

It's no good anyone saying, you can still do that now you've left. There is very little time left. I'm halfway through my life. I have a wonderful husband and five children and responsibilities upon responsibilities and all I want is to find out more and there's NO TIME!

I feel robbed, assaulted and lost.

And I want to say 'Damn the WTBTS.' Bloody thieves and con artists!

And why was I so stupid to believe them..?

luna2

My struggle was that I'm not hugely social and I hated d2d too, just like DanTheMan. I'm also no salesperson.

I've never enjoyed attending meetings of any kind, and it was very difficult to make all of them required as a JW, especially once I started working full-time. I can count on one hand the months I didn't miss at least once.

Field service was very difficult too. What was I doing trying to tell other people that their religion was "wrong" and that they should listen to me? I kept telling myself that it wasn't my views that I was pushing but Jehovah's...didn't help. I never kept good records, had trouble going back and doing those return visits, had trouble starting studies. Ugh.

seeitallclearlynow

Mine was that so much of it seemed so unreasonable. And the artificiality of being around those who just never stopped thinking and acting "as a JW".

Your Struggle in the Truth.......