Matt, I have not followed your posts, just this one. As others have said, this is both. Finished, never look back. That's the final chapter of the old Matt. The next chapter is just beginning. This is all part of the story of life, you are the writer. I can only wish you well, and keep you in my prayers. I don't know if you have children, you mentioned your wife and mother. I pray for them, especially your wife, that she will in her own time, know the real truth.
Shalom my friend,
AuntieJane