It is finished, or is it just beginning? (page 9)

Mamacat

Wow Matt! I don't post much, but I read all the time. I've been thinking about you and how hard it must be to put on a fake smile and face the dubs everyday in your position feeling like you do and knowing what you know.

I think you are very brave, and I am sorry your wife is having trouble coming to terms with your decision. There is no doubt from me that it was well thought out and from your heart.

Best of luck in the coming days, months, years...Even though I haven't been in a KH in years, the crap they indoctrinated in my head will always be there on some level, and that is the worst part because it lasts so long. (((BIG HUGS))) to you!

keeshah

I have been following your posts since I realized that you were an Elder. I'm happy and sad for you at the same time. It takes a lot of guts to "play along" after you realized it was all a lie. I was df'd and didn't deprogram until 12 years later. So I can't even imagine what it was like for you. Seems kind of cool though. We had our own secret spy for awhile!

Best of luck to you and I hope your wife will see the light soon too.

moanzy

IP_SEC,

I hope the relief of everything outweighs some of the emptiness. I remember when I wrote the elders my letter and specifically said I had made my decision and don't wish to discuss it with anyone, I wouldn't answer phone calls, answer my door and generally tried to be gone all the time. I really just couldn't wait for it all to be done with. Thank God it only took them 2 weeks to finally realize I meant I didn't want to talk to them.

There was a large whole to get used to, but I found ways to fill it and carry on. I still don't like the witnesses much(mostly the religion and the self-righteous fools).

All the best

Moanzy

johnny cip

My friend came by to pick up my keys to the hall and stuff. He asked if I'd be willing to meet with them. I said "sure! If you will hear me out" Nope, no way, only on their terms with a view to 'helping' me. I told him that I'd be happy to help them... he just shook his head.

Rich, maybe we'll meet some day. matt: told his elder so called friend." great work matt. you just let this guy know he has nothing . what you told him . is burning the shit out of him. he' know you got something he ain't got the balls to have . but deep inside ,he wants it.. your help. thats the only way to handle them now. allways let them know . if they could only understand what you see. that they would be . out of the wt next week. i think you have the right approach.. best wishes with your wife... john

LittleToe

So, after your first nights sleep as a free man, how do you feel this morning?

If I take issue with anything you've posted, it is simply this:
Today is a good day for someone else to die!

Have you thought about how you intend to handle the ensuing Elder's visits?
The s77 form requires them to attempt to note that they've visited at least a couple of times (and they'll probably count your intereaction with that other Elder as the first), so a confrontation is likely.
If your wife is in attendance, it may make an impression for good or for bad.

Good luck!!

IP_SEC

keesha, johhny cip, moanzy, FG, Dustin, Thank you all very much.

Mega, I guess I finally made peace with the fact that my hopes about their reaction was pure idealism. These men I've known for decades I had hoped based on mutual respect they would listen. You know? Just listen, even if it was with a smirk.

I was thinking yesterday, maybe its pride, perhaps it is to painful to say: "Well these past 30 or 40 years of service was a wash" So if you close your eyes and plug your ears and yell "Blah bla bla I cant hear you" the problem goes away.

LT,

After a nights sleep I feel like a new man. I know the secretary who I dealt with yesterday wont be back. The other two, I hope will call or come by. It is almost unimaginable that they would not. I think though that my letter which was sent to the branch, my contact twice with the secretary, and leaving copies of my letter for the other elders will probably suffice for the 'blue angel of life'

Itsa nice day and a holiday, Ima get out of the house for a while

rebel8

IP,

Congratulations on your flight to freedom. You are going to be SO much happier!

If you don't mind sharing, how did the DA thing work? Did you get to say it from the platform, or did you have to say it to the elders in the back room? What did you say? How did they react? Was it announced?

IP_SEC

Reb,

I sent my DA letter to bethel friday.

My wife told an elder that I was going to da from the platform. He came over and talked to me about 5 minutes. I gave him 3 copys of my letter to the goobering body for he the other elders. There was no announcement, and probably wont be for a week or so.

That was that.

Midget-Sasquatch

How did I not clue in to what this thread was about?!?!

Congrats!

The Borg and its puppets have a way of playing off of negative feelings and self-image ( "we're not whole-souled to Jehovah" ) to their own advantage. They're the manipulators/liars and they stay that way. You're one of the most genuine/pensive (ex)elders I've ever come across Matt. I'm really happy for you.

I'm sure you can face whatever can come your way. The coping mechanisms you must have had to keep the outer world you always knew stable (esp. ties and relationships), as you grew and changed within, is assurance of that. I look forward to one day having the inner strength you showed and reach for that same true freedom.

Sirona

Well done Matt!

Sirona

It is finished, or is it just beginning?

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